my Dear Husband Dick, has severe burning on urinating. OK, after many visits to the urologist, it was decided that at 87 yrs old he needs to be circumsised. turns out the foreskin has become so tight that he can't pull it back, etc, etc, etc.... you can guess the rest. anyway, has anyone else hadany experience with this. I just don't know what to expect with an adult.... especially one with dementia.
Here's a link to everything you always wanted to know about Adult Circumcision - complete with photos (brace yourself): http://www.aafp.org/afp/990315ap/1514.html
chris what what i have heard seen, its not a pleasant surgery for an adult male. there will be pain for sure especially at urinating times. with AD i hope its not too complicated to be able to get his cooperation for recovery - if hes in depends its going to complicate things to keep him dry and very clean to avoid infections. if it were me, i would try to have inhome help or leave in hospital til its healed enough and not too painful. good luck!! divvi
OUCH, indeed!!! Isn't there a story in the old testament about god ordering a certain people to be circumcised, then the tribes of Israel came down and slaughtered them? See, the men couldn't fight back 'cause they were debilitated by the pain??? Just sayin'. (yep, that work of literature is just FULL of happy endings, isn't it??)
At any rate, good luck. My first husband had the surgery.....but I wasn't around to see first hand how it went. So, I know it isn't uncommon. I agree with needing to leave him in the hospital until he heals, especially if you can get Medicaid to pay for the extra stay.
chris r, at least at age 87 you don't have to worry about him getting an erection. My father, a surgeon, told me of a young man on whom he did a circumcision. Every day his girl friend would come in, dressed in very flimsy, sexy clothes. The man would get a erection and rip out all the stitches. My father finally had to ban her from visiting.
Marsh, I know that this is an extremely serious subject, and that I shouldn't, but your father's experience made me smile......
Chris, I am not a doctor. I have had that burning that was killing me and I guzzled a half gallon of cranberry juice, followed by a half gallon of water while staying on the toilet and within an hour, my pain went away. I have been drinking 8 oz of cranberry juice every day ever since and have not had the burning sensation return. That was three years ago.
I DO know I would try this and anything else suggested before I let them operate on my husband. We want them pain free, but this surgery in itself will be painful and someone will have to be with him until he is pain free after the surgery because in his present state, he will pick at it every chance he gets.
I can't help it, Marsh. That made me laugh. On a serious note tho, Jean has just had a UTI. He's in a nursing home also. He was never circumcised. At home he was always very concerned with keeping himself clean "down there". I just wonder if with the AD and the nursing home if that would have been any cause of the UTI. ????
Actually, we have done all the obvious things already, cranberry juice constantly, a pill the urologist gave him (I forget the name) many antibiotics, and then a cystoscope. OK, the doctor couldn't get the scope in.... he said to me, I believe we have found the problem.... so, next wednesday, he'll (as i told my friends) convert to Judaism. turns out they were right all along. he's having it as an out patient and i have already called the doctor to arrange for visiting nurse to take care of the dressing. We go to our internist tomorrow to have him OKed for the proceedure. I haven't told him what they are doing, just told him he's having a small proceedure, to make the opening larger. He doesn't need to know. Just the word will scare the pants off him, and yes, he's in Depends, but really only wets them at night. Must go to that website, thanks for the info.
When I was first married, age 18, I worked as a nurse's aide in a hospital on the graveyard shift. One of my first patient was an guy in his 80s that had a circumcision but there were complications. He had gotten infection and his scrotum was so swollen it seemed like it almost reached his knees. He was in so much pain. I forget who it was whose husband had a rash and the scrotum was red and sensitive. I felt so sorry for this guy cause he was sweet and hated having an 18 year have to take care of him. (at night the aides did a lot of hands on care).
If he has it, be on the lookout for infection. If he would leave it in, I might consider a catheter for the first week or so to avoid wet diapers. It would not surprise me if afterward he becomes incontinent during the day also (at least for a while). Then there is the concern for anesthesia - we all have read the stories here of they are not the same afterward.
Chris - you are in a tough spot and our prayers are with you and hb.
We've gone the path of UTI, several times. No this is a mechanical problem. The foreskin cannot be pulled back so he cannot clean himself. also, the foreskin is so tight around the penis, that he has pain when he uninates. burning, when they did the cystoscope, absolutely noting else was wrong, except they couln't get the cystoscope in.... the hole was so small. The doctor had to stretch it out with local anesthetic in order to even examine him. No, there's no question as to what the problem is, and yes, I am concerned about the possibility of infection afterwards. Well, all I can do is wait and see... just seems like this year, 2010 will never end, broken hip.... extraction of 4 teeth, ... now circum... what's next, his toes will fall off, I've just about had it. ARGGGG. AlkaSeltzer? I'll keep that in mind.
Chris R: I really wish you hadn't brought the subject up. But, confession is good for something. I am 74 and several months ago when my DW was not doing well at all, I was having some of the same problems, but, also had a continuing yeast infection (down there). Long story short, the urologist said that I needed the same procedure. I haven't done anything about it yet because of the move and getting settled in my new home. Also, I haven't found new doctors. (Moving isn't easy)
Also, another problem (at least I think it is) is that now that I don't have DW to help me (Lord, I miss her) how in the world would I tell my children and relatives. This is not 'polite' conversation. My current plan is to have the procedure done and to hide out in my house until I get better. Just don't tell anybody.
Am I being a silly old man?
(I can't beleive got up the nerve to even write about this)
I know a Catholic French Canadian who converted to Judiasm for his bride--got circumcised and they told everyone. He was maybe early 30's, and they've been married about 40 yrs. But I've never heard of this problem w/older men, what a shocker. However, I've had medical things I never tell anyone about, except the children because of how their health is related to their parents. I don't like to talk about it in detail, don't want to be known as 'that lady who had------.' I know there are those who tell you every detail of every cold and hangnail they've ever had--more than I really want to hear. So, Dean & any others, I understand your feelings and appreciate that we can talk about things here w/out every relative & neighbor knowing about it.
And as far as being a silly old man, Dean--go for it! I am old now and have never felt more comfortable about myself in my life. If I'm silly, I've damned well earned it, if I do things that make me feel like 16, it's wonderful. If I keep my secrets, they're mine to keep. I think my son worries a bit, watches me, but lets me be, daughter keeps trying to tell me what to do, say & act. I tell her I'm not about to change, can't really and don't want to, won't even try. I love and accept her--warts and all--she'll either do the same with me or not--her decision. Mostly we get along quite well, but I've been where she is, she has yet to be where I am, and that's about it.
My son had to be circumsized at age 3. Would you dare let your husband wear nothing but a t shirt during the day for a couple of days so he doesn't have to have any clothing rubbing the sore area. Is the outpatient surgery center ready for confusion in the recovery room? Good luck!
Bettyhere*: Thanks for the encouraging info. Knowing me, I haven't found (looked) for a new Dr here as a way of putting this procedure off (procrastinating - whew, big word).
Several years ago, I had a nice position with a bank and we employed a lot of ladies. When one of them said they didn't feel good or were sick, I learned not to ask them what was wrong. Many of them would tell me a whole lot more than I wanted to hear. In fact, with all the details, it got embarrassing. So, I just took their word for it. Worked better that way.
I am going to a Senior Center today for the first time.
Okay... I know I am going to get how "dumb" can she be..Every morning I sponge him off after getting him up. After his 2 weeks at the geropsych clinic we had Home Health bath girls twice a week. "Shirley" said to me one day after a bath..the foreskin seems a little tight...So the next morning I pushed that skin back and that thing popped out and scared me and I thought what in the s#*t is that. Anyway I have been having him skin it back and washing it with a baby wipe. Is that good enough or is there something else I should be doing? When all you men stop laughing....give me any advise I might need. Hey, I thought the nose hairs was bad...
LOL Bama you are a hoot for sure. but yes its important for those of us caring for men to be sure to clean the foreskin if they have not been circumcised. it can be a source of uncleanliness and infection if not pulled back and cleaned regularly with soap and water. Dean if it were me needing that operation i think i'd tell everyone it has to do with 'prostate' issues and let it slide maybe. that way you can still have company while you are under the weather and no need for embarrassment over the real issues if you feel that way. prostate issues are fairly common these days-I know of a couple of guys who did circumcism as adults and its not an easy experience the first couple of days. esp when urinating. i agree to let them air dry if possible. a depend that gets wet while the circumcism is fresh is going to be pure undulated torture. its best to avoid clothing if possible maybe a large soft cotton short just to cover the whole area for modesty issues.
Ok Bama since I didn't plan on partaking of this conversation in the first place, I might as well offer you some advice. Especially, since I have some recent first hand experience with the UTI and Yeast Infection. (Terrible, Terrible Stuff to be avoided at any cost).
Anyhow, when I went to my dr for treatment, after I had tried everything I could on my own, I got a stern lecture inre the importance of cleanliness and good hygiene. She (yes She MD) even insisted on showing me the correct procedure. Embarrassing - Yes, Humiliating - Yes, but, as miserable as I was and had been for some time, I would do just anything for some relief. I took a prescription and some antibiotic cream and it cleared up. Sure was glad it did, but, the strong suggestion inre circumsion still remains and obviously I haven't acted on it yet.
Bama, If I didn't have this as a personal problem, I would laugh at your post, but, I guess I better not.
I still haven't forgiven ChrisR for bringing this subject up and Mary 22033 for her reference to the web site. But, Divvi, Thank you for the suggestions.
By the way, if and when I have this procedure, I do not plan on writing about it.
When I was a student nurse and working in pediatrics, one of my patients, a 5-year-old boy with leukemia, needed a bed bath. He was not circumcised and remembering the lecture on the importance of retracting the foreskin and cleansing the area, I did. I guess this hadn't been done on a regular basis because I caused bleeding under the skin, like a bruise. It's always been one of the things I most regret doing.
Dean---at least consider passing on any care tips which might be helpful. After all, the patient's persapective isn't likely to be available to us from our LOs.
Isn't it funny, Mary, how some things stick in your mind forever.
When we brought our first child home (I was an adult 24 year old with NO experience with babies) he had been circumcised and the doctor told me that if there was any bleeding I was to call him. When I was changing him, a day or two later, there was blood on the diaper. Frantic, I called the doctor. The doctor, a family friend and neighbor, came by on his way home. I will never forget him taking off the diaper and saying, "but this is NOTHING" The baby was fine, and dear Dr. Ulert ever thereafter (and probably for many years before) considered me a bit over-excitable!
Sticks in my head, fifty years later. I got to thinking of Dr. Ulert, who last I heard was still alive and functioning at 91 about 3 years ago. I think there would be an obit in some medical journal, because he was the inventor in the 90s of a highly-regarded artificial heart pump, some stethoscope improvements, etc. And I haven't seen one, so Houston Chronicle readers, if you see it, let me know. I called him about ten years ago when I was in Houston and he not only remembered me but also that little son and my husband. He was a Polish refugee when barely out of med school, and cared for me nearly all the years I lived in Houston.
OK, the surgery was today, or should I say procedure. Anyway, this is what happened. they took the dressing off at the out patient facility and it began to bleed... they stopped it from bleeding and the doctor told them to wrap it again, and I could take the dressing off tomorrow.... anyway, by the time we got home he was just about bouncing against the walls with the pain, and crying. I gave him half a percocet, then he couldn't pee.... so I called the doctor again, and they told me to come right down. OK, by then, of course , he had no pants on. so we put a robe on him and off we went. We got there and he was able to pee, but not enough... blah blah blah. Upshot, they finally let us go hime. he was thirsty, i needed to walk the dog.... i got back he had poured himself a glass of WINDDEX. now I have to lock the cabinets. I have a 2 year old. I'm so tired. he's sleeping right now, thank goodness. I have to run out and pick up his antibiotic, and I'm afraid to leave the house. Any BTW, this all started several months ago when he told me he couldn't pull back the foreskin, but i really did not know what that meant (PS, I'm 67 and we've been together 40 yrs)
Get the doctor to authorize a nurse through a home health agency to come in and do whatever needs to be done from changing the dressing to giving him his medication. Medicare will cover it. When I went to Washington DC in March, Sid had a toe infection - because of his diabetes, Medicare paid for a nurse to come every day to check his vital signs, clean the wound, and change the dressing. Even after I returned home, she still came until it was healed.
It was actually his pouring the winded into a glass fulof ice to drink that really upset me. I'm hoping it was the anesthetic that confused him to that point but anytime one thng happens out of the blue it becomes the way it is thereafter. Not right away, but eventually. This is what's coming... A previewed. Oh joy!!!
Well, we were at the doctor again today. Pain was very bad. the doctor gave me a topical anesthetic that seems to help, and maybe i can not give him pain killers. the pain killers make him totally confused (as if he wasn't confused enough already). today, when we came home from the doc, and I thinking everything is fine, He decided he needed to go hom, after all he has a wife and child at home. How are you going there, I'll walk. OK, I'll walk with you, I need to walk the dog anyway. Well, of course, he got furious out side, not knowing where to go. I took him in the car, to our friends, I ran in and left him in the car, and my friends DH went out to the car to talk to Dick. Well, you wouldn't believe how horrible that person who brought him there was (mi?). I drove home in my friends car, my friends husband drove Dick home so I was already there, and he recognized me as soon as he waked in. but spent the first hour home telling me how horrible 'she' is. I don't know who 'she ' is or why she was here, but I'm really glad she's gone, at least for the moment.
I know this problem well. It's very upsetting but in time you'll get use to it. I find it easier to accept this than deal with the side effects of the meds given to him to stop it. In time you will remember some of the imagined things and smile. Not when it happens but later.
Chris i hope you and DH are in a much better place as i type this. hopefully hes made a decent but knowingly painful recovery. xx fingers you both are well - divvi