DH hasn't had much of a problem with speech until just lately. Although he has for past few years been unable to locate some words and misnamed some things, he could always communicate with me fairly well. Lately primarily in the evenings when he is more symptomatic he will come into the room I'm in and try to tell me about a ball game he is watching or something on the news. And he'll be completely unable to put the words together. He might start with "I'm watching..." and then he pauses and starts looking very frustrated as he is obviously grappling to find the words. Finally tonight he just gave up and said, "I just can't talk." The other night during dinner he tried to explain something on a news show and it was the idea he couldn't name and he said, "I should just eat and not try to think." I always try to downplay it and respond in an upbeat manner, but this is so so sad.
What I'm wondering is HOW DOES THIS PROGRESS? Does it vary like everything else? Is it sometimes gradual and sometimes sudden? Should I be prepared for this loss to get much worse soon?
He's so humorous these days and often spontaneous. I enjoy what he communicates when he does. I fear like crazy losing this.
Would really like to hear how the loss of speech occurred for some of you all.
terry - my husband is just at the stage where he sometimes has trouble finding a word. but from what others said the speech can come and go but eventually will go. My FIL was slow but he talked well for a long time. AS you noted the evenings seem worse. I think it does go with times of day, whether they are tired or more energetic. I do hope he will bounce back for a while longer.
My husband is starting to lose his ability to access the words he wants. This has been happening over the last 8 months or so. He understands words spoken to him. If I don't understand what he is trying to tell me, he just says "nothing" and drops it. He doesn't have spontaneous conversations anymore and uses the same phrases over and over again. I have found that if he is trying to explain something, I ask him to show me. So far, I've been able to figure out what he wants most of the time. He has FTD and language can disappear earlier than it does in AD, I believe.
I do know that some people have had good luck with pictures or writing out the words. But, when they lose their speech completely it can be hard on both of you.
My husband has had problems with individual words for a couple of years. Now if you heard him speak you would think nothing was wrong unless you were part of the conversation, and then you'd realize that he can't actually tell you what is worrying him. Nothing he says makes sense.
MY husband has been having trouble finding words recently. He will say 'that place we go to' and I have to guess what he means. If he wants to tell me something he will open his mouth and the words don't come. This has been happening for about a month or two.
Terry--My DH started mispronouncing words several years ago. A recent example would be saying "I want to take a shiver" instead of "shower". His progression overall is slow, so it has been a gradual thing, speaking less and less in general. It is difficult for him to answer questions, so I try to ask things in a way that they can be answered yes or no, or just say something like, do you want a peach or ice cream? Many times when we are watching TV, he makes a comment, and since I know him so well, I know what his intent is although words are missing. What he says shows me he still comprehends what he's hearing, but the deficits are in the communication area. He still tells me he loves me frequently, and now he calls me his "sweepie" instead of sweetie. One other thing, after dx, he occasionally started speaking gibberish with a French or German inflection (he never spoke either of those languages). He does it to joke around and be silly, and it is funny. I have wondered if when we are in a crowded place (i.e. noisy restaurant) whether all the talk sounds like gibberish to him. I find that I have to help him more now by anticipating his needs--i.e., asking if he wants a meal or a kleenex--instead of waiting for him to tell me. I get a pang when I hear his old recording on our answering machine, speaking normally--he sure can't do that now.
My DH has trouble finding the words he wants to say and has had for quite some time. He also misprounces words or calls it by a different name. sometimes he gets so frustrated he says "forget it". Most times I can figure out what he is trying to say but the are times the words are clear but I have no idea what he means.
My DH has just started having trouble finding the right words he wants to say too. He will say a few words, then hesitate because he can't get the right word out. Sometimes, I know what it is and will say it, sometimes I wait a few seconds. Sometimes he will find the word, other times not. Sometime he also can't remember the name 'Lowes', Walmart, etc - it's just "that place we go to".
Mine doesn't talk much, will usually understand simple commands etc if we talk slowly.. He flips into the "disruptive vocalization" - FayeBaye, I'm going to have to research that; I love it! - when he's upset about something. This morning I left him watching the Three Stooges but he HATES violence of any sort and of course they're bopping each other all the time. I heard the Oh Oh Oh Oh on and on as I went up the stairs. He couldn't go anywhere and didn't have the remote. Not that he knows how to change channels but he can sometimes turn it of.
And yet there are times he will speak full sentences with perfect clarity. This is why I doubt the business about parts of the brain being DESTROYED... they can't compensate with other parts of the brain as quickly as they shift in and out of verbalizing.
My wife still "talks" a lot, but what she says has no bearing on what is going on. She will do a long monologue about something, and not respond to any questions I ask. I just keep on doing what I am doing (reading the paper this morning), and try to figure out what she is talking about. I don't get any answer when I ask her a question. Occasionally she will suddenly volunteer "You're wonderful", and then go back the way she was. Sometimes it is obvious she wants something, but can't find the word. At this point I usually take her to the bathroom, which seems to be what she wants.
Oh my gosh. Thank you so much EVERYONE. This helps. Esp in not feeling so confused and alone. I was up till all hours so depressed over this and woke up late and have to run to the library before it closes but want to post more later. THANK YOU. I hate this so much. why why why.........oh well i seldom ask why anymore. I don't know what I would do if this site didn't exist. Thank you again Joan. I don't have support groups here so this place is it.
We are in the middle of a study with research associates from our med school (OHSU) on helping patients with aphasia. G is having a difficult time with speaking and comprehension now as others have mentioned. The goal of the study is to end up with a book of pictures (your own or from other sources) of familiar places, people and things that can be pointed to to aid in communication. It has been very effective especially with PPA patients, so I'm eager to see our end result. I spent an afternoon this week with one of the associates gathering pictures from our computer of family events and travels from the past few years.
After two years of reduced-to-no speaking, my neuro finally suggested a speech therapist. She comes to the house for an hour a week and has started my DH on "Chat for aphasia". My DH is doing well on this, but still hasn't resumed normal speech on a daily basis. The therapist (Voice Aerobics) has him inserting a CD into our computer and then a nice, calm voice comes on and asks him to repeat words, then phrases, then paired phrases like "peanut butter and jelly" "shirt and tie". After this the therapist writes on an erase-a-board part of the phrase and DH has to write the second half. So far, he is doing all the right things.
The therapist says aphasia is loss of communication, for instance, after a stroke, or in DH's case, that portion of the brain that gets affected by AD and she says the sooner they try to regain or recharge that area, the better. I'm thinking of buying the pkg for about $180. Let's see. But in the end, I know, the silence will take over.
These language skills and the changes are interesting. My DH understands what he is reading and will even pull something out to share that has amused him. However there are times when he will ask me what a word means and he was always the one who used the 5 dollar words when writing a speech or something important. His use of words is appropriate. What we don't have are spontaneous conversations..I can ask him something and he will look at me...or I can ask, what are has happened in the movie while I was in the kitchen and he might point to the tv screen and say "that"...so having to explain something like that is not easy. Yet if something needs to be fixed he will say how to do it. What kills me is his apathy...what would you like for dinner...a or b and he will say whatever you are having. Or I can ask if he is hungry and he will say I'll eat when you do.. I swear I think I could give him the same thing I give the cat and it would be ok! This is so depressing.
FayeBay. After all this crap we go through with AD spouses, I am surprised we are not out in our yards the night of the full moon howling at it. Your remark about the Carol Burnette Tarzan yell struck me funny..and by the time we get through with this we may not have AD but we have to fight not to qualify for a looney bin. LOL
FayeBay, I'll never forget your Carol Burnette yell remark. I needed the laugh after a night and a day of trying to take all this in. My head is pounding. I can see DH in so much of what is written here. It's obviously progressing and much faster now. I'm just going to hope he levels off again for awhile. I can't even fathom our life without any conversation all.
My hb is that way now and he is still in the early stages: when asked where he wants to go for dinner, or what he is hungry for it is always me make the choice. I guess cause for 39 years I have done the grocery buying and cooking - he never had to think about it, just eat.
Today for about the 6th time when getting a soft drink I asked him if he got pepsi/coke or root beer. He said he didn't know, tasted it and said probably pepsi. I tasted it (actually could smell it) and it was root beer. Root beer has a strong, sweet flavor but evidently he can't tell the difference too well.
He still is saying goodnight, I am going to get vertical!
I'll add our history here too - my husband first lost the ability to type his sentences on the computer three years ago. He couldn't string his thoughts together when trying to write about our trip. It shocked me, because he has never been talkative, so I hadn't realized that his thoughts were now locked in his head. He could type a page about each day of our trip before AD. It became two typewritten sentences of gibberish. It was heartbreaking.
I noticed he stopped talking, but would respond to questions with "yes, no, okay, great, sounds good" and over a year, it became just "yes" or "no." Then for about 6 months, if the response was "yes" he would say "yes" and if the answer was no, he stayed silent. Now, he no longer even says yes. He will occasionally (that little spark once or twice a week for a few moments) try to say three of four words, but you can't understand them. His thoughts are locked away.
I realized that about five years ago, when people would ask him questions, if he paused too long before answering them, I answered for him and he would say "yes" and I honestly didn't think anything about it - we were eating and he kept chewing and I thought that was the reason he wasn't talking! My cousin asked me "do you always answer for him?" and my husband and I answered in unison "yes!" <grin> That was when it dawned on me what I had been doing. After 44 years, we knew each others thoughts and could finish each other's sentences anyway, but that was my wake-up call on his inability to speak.
My husband SOUNDS like he can still talk, until you actually listen to what he is trying to say and then you realize that you can't make heads or tails of what is worrying him.
He can not make a decision between two things anymore. He could, sometimes, let me know if he agreed with what I had chosen for him in a restaurant. But not always.
My husband cannot make a decision either. I have just stopped giving him choices because it just seems to confuse him. He uses a lot of very strange words and the wrong word lots of time.
Decisions?????? From someone else like my dh???????? Stopped along time ago. I still ask him sometimes out of habit, but he is never able to respond. Speech is still there but making sense of it is another story. He can says words perfectly, but they are in the wrong order with the wrong words in the sentence. For instance, our son brings us our coffee in the moring. We were watching "Dirty Jobs" and they were talking about mud. Well my dh tasted his coffee and made a horrible face and said " Yuck, Mud". Me and my son laughted and I said what is wrong, is it too cold,,,,,he said yes..... We all laughted about it yesterday....... Whatever he hears or sees when he is talking is what words are injected into the conversation. Makes for a managable day, we laugh, we cry and then we make lemonade and have a great day.....
My wife's speech can be very interesting. If she is trying to say something to me, it comes out all wrong. Today she wanted to find her "fizzles". I guess they "fizzled out". If I ask her a question if I get any answer at all it makes no sense. But yesterday at breakfast she started talking, not to me, but apparently, based on a few comments, to God, as in a prayer. She was thanking him for everything nice that has happened and asked him to keep me healthy. She was not aware that I was listening.
Marsh--your DW sounds like such a sweet person. No wonder you love her so much.
My DH has had trouble finding the right word for a couple of yers. What I notice the most is he substitutes a definition for the word he's searching for. "I put that drinking thing in where you save dirty dishes" He meant "I put that glass in the dishwasher."
"I can't find that thing I pound nails with." Hammer
Things lilke that.
Also, he rarely talks at all during the eening. And when he does it sounds slurry. He does much better in the morning hours but not as much as he did a few months ago.
My DW rarely tries to talk now and when she does try and can’t get the words out, she just says “never mind”. Now, I can’t remember the last time we had any sort of conversation or even when she could still talk and have it mean anything. She still does say “I love you” and that is enough for me.
Jerry, you made me cry because you are so right, in my opinion, the only thing that matters when all is said or not said and done is "I love you" thank you for reminding me of that because I get so caught up in all the negative stuff going on that I forget about that.
My husband can no long say "I love you" but I see it in his eyes and I say it for him. I tell him often that I love him and I also always add that I know he loves me too. I am sure that it is so very sad for him not to be able to express himself.
Jerry and all... That is still the one thing my DH can still say "I love you". It makes all the pain go away, for about 10 seconds.
This is the normal conversation around my house now and getting worse by the week,
Do you have...? Do you know where...? Can I have.... What about my... Can we.... Can you get me..... Are you going.... ..This is all followed with...never mind. So frustrating for both of us. His word finding ability is just shot. Sometimes I just chime in with something I know he will like, such as...Oh, did you say you want a Fudgesicle?...
Sheltifan, this sounds just like the conversation at my house. Once in a while he surprises me with a complete sentence, which usually has little relevance to reality.
My DH can never find the words he needs which is why he can't explain things when he is hallucinating. He gets frustrated because he can't come up with what he wants to say and I don't have a clue what he is talking about!