Kathryn is continuing to decline and she is scared. She now has parts of half of stage six.
Kathryn was already in most of stage five when she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s on Sept. 30, 2008 (she was 56 years old). She seemed to be holding there the first year or so after being diagnosed. Her neurologist started her on her meds all of her meds on April 30 2008, before she was officially diagnosed, because she was already in the advanced stages and the doctor didn’t want to wait the five months until she could get in to see the clinical psychologist and be diagnosed.
The parts she has had are:
1. She has lost all awareness of anything recent. 2. Her personal history was gone when already when she was first Diagnosed.
New stage six:
1. Has begun to have problems getting dressed properly. 2. She has started getting up at different hours during the night and moving around the house.
I am not sure if she knows my name anymore or not. She never says it anymore but does not call me by other name either. She cries a lot more now and she told me yesterday she is scared. I did my best to comfort her. I can’t fix this and I just don’t know what to say to her about being scared. I assured her that she didn’t have to be scared and that I would be there to take care of her. The problem is when is says she is scared I think it is because she realizes she is getting worse and what it means to have Alzheimer’s and what her grandmother went thought with it.
What do you say when your loved one says they are scared?
I do not have experience with this, but I know when Sid gets really depressed and cries, I hold him in my arms and rub his back, and tell him I will always be there for him. As their awareness of us and what is happening to them diminishes, I don't think words mean anything, but our warm touch reaches deep.
Jim: I always told my DW that I would help her. I don't know how she processed those words (different ways at different times, I think), but, ultimately she got the message that I was always going to be there for her and that I would help her. That was comforting to her and comfort her was all that I could do.
Jim, you are doing all the right things and the best we can do is try to reassure them that we will be there for them.
Another thing, maybe she needs a med adjustment. I know it sounds like we always talk about popping a new pill, but I always felt like it was cruel to have my husband upset, angry or agitated when there was something he could take to help him.
It's a tough place you are in and I feel for you.....
Jim, in our case, I had to figure out what my husband was scared of and react to that. Holding him helped but he needed the words in answer to his fears. The hard part was figuring out what was scaring him, he didn't always give me a lot of clues.
Even now, I often tell him about something that he did for me that I treasure. I tell others of some of the good things he did in his life in his hearing. I don't think he remembers any of those examples (he is in stage 7), but I do think he responds to the tone of my voice and the reactions of those I am talking to.
Telling those stories has also helped me remember more about my husband and who he was outside of the AD world so it is a win-win for the two of us.
therrja, I also agree with your above statement. I have done this some with my DH but your post reminds me to do it more. I hadn't thought about it helping me to remember more about my DH and who he was outside of the AD world but I'm sure that would be true also.