Do you think your loved one knows when they have Alzheimer's even when they adamantly deny it or seem oblivious to the problem? My DH seems not to know that he is having problems and yet I have found several newspaper articles around the house that he has hidden re: Alz. An older man has been missing for several days north of us and the newspaper has been following the story since he had been diagnosed with dementia and alz. This morning my husband asked if they had found the man and was interested. He is not interested in much these days so I wondered whether he felt a kindred spirit was in trouble.
My DH doesn't seem to understand that he has Alzheimer. Once in awhile he say that there something the matter with his head. He knows he can't always remember things. On the other hand, he will tell me things that just are not true and he completely believes it. For instance, I might ask him what he did that day. He will tell me how he did this or that, which I know he did not do.He seems to think he's still doing work. I just agree with him.
Mine does know he has it and will tell anyone, anytime, that he has it. We talk about it often. He knows it's going to get worse and he gets frustrated when he can't do things he always did - but at least he knows why he can't. I almost think it's better if they don't know, though. He worries so much about it and about me having to care for him.
Mine knows, and is also fairly free with telling people. He does not, at this point, understand the implications. He believes that it because he has the Dx of Alzheimer's that he is not "allowed" to do things, such as have a job, drive a car. He does not generally seem to understand that his limitation is his impairments, not his diagnosis.
He also, not infrequently, says things to the effect that he expects to get better. I don't believe he has any realistic view of what the future will hold.
In the article on ALZ. by Jenifer Ghent-Fuller she talks about the alz.patient who does not know he has alz. or realize that anything is wrong. That decribes my DH to a tee except for the above mentioned instances. She wondering if others have had that same experience.
My husband knew he had AZ even before he was DX,the Dr. wouldn't believe him and he was so frustrated.Once we changed Dr. and he had an MRI done which showed the AZ,my husband was almost relieved. Yes, he know what the future will bringand he worries about me more than himself.We take one day at a time .
My DH knows he has AZ and has read the pamphlets I got the the Alz Assoc, but I really don't think he relates any of what he has read to himself. He still hallucinates about a couple of things, especially the parking out front!!! We talk about AD at times and I have mentioned what some people go through but again I don't think he realizes any of it could happen to him. He sometimes says he feels really good as if that somehow means he is okay. I checked recently to see when I joined this group and it was June '08 so DH was Dx'd in September '07 so it will soon be 3 years and I wonder how I will hang on without screaming! Mostly it's the small things that are irritating or the hallucinations. Of course his memory is a mess but he can still take care of his hygiene and make himself a sandwich. Compared to what some folk are going through it isn't that bad or wouldn't be if I had more patience.
PHIL4:13 Are you located in Central CA? There was a man here on 23 Dec 09 who went missing and has not been found. His truck and dog , the dog was with him and he was going to go to a park to walk the dog, were found several miles from his destination. In my case, my DH does not think he has AD or any other kind of memory impairment yet now and then he will say something to someone else that " he has lived her for so many years yet sometimes doesn't know where he is". this happened when he was with his brother on the main street in town..didn't know where the barber shop was..He used to know where everything was and all the short cuts to getting there. He thinks he can drive, which I won't let him do, but can't recall 30 minutes later that he had a meal..or what it was. Once reminded he remembers all of what we had...'How I hate this disease.
Oh forgot to add one thing..my mom had AD and I think she did know on some level something was not right. I recall her complaining one time that when she went to the doctor to have her pace maker checked, dad would do all the talking and she said how will that doctor know what I worry about if he never lets me talk. I try to keep that in mind and let my DH talk when we go to the doctor ( any one of about 4 he has) and am behind him to signal the doctor that his answer is yes correct or no..then doc asks ME questions so there is a clear picture but DH will contradict me.
Jean, it is interesting what our still somewhat functioning spouse can do..yours is good at hygine and mine is when he knows he is going someplace. Otherwise he lets it go and he looks messy and no urging will get him to move. Newest change is teeth brushing..up until now it is an effort to get him to change his undies..let alone the outer wear..now we add teeth. He can make a sandwich and even boil or fry his own eggs and start the grill and grill a steak. He thinks he can still drive though he has not been behind the wheel for months now..
When I looked back at a note book I started 5+ years ago when he had his heart surgery, I think now this has been going on for that long and only a firm DX in Oct last year. I can say for the last 5+ years I griped about things he should be doing but was not and more and more being dumped on me..now I understand why and I am so tired anymore..demoralized..I sleep but not well. I have a little back cat who does mother me a lot..somehow she knows and is free with her sandpaper kisses, little pats an snuggles.
There is a word for it: anosognosia--being cognitively unaware of disability. Not sure if we are going that way or not. My husband at first was proud of not being in denial and even argued with one doctor. Trying to qualify for disability helped push him in that direction. But two years later he increasingly denies cognitive problems (the physical Parkinsons problems are clearer) and complains that I am determined to see him as worse than he is.
MiMi, this man was in Erie, PA. His family left him in a car with the motor running while they went into a casino there! Hard to believe someone would do that. He just drove off and they have spotted him in a couple of places. But it has been 4 days since anyone has seen him.
My DH is pretty easy going most of the time except when he gets frustrated about not driving. We are beginning to have small battles over his bathing and shaving. He doesn't use soap and stands in the shower but not under it and just wets a wash cloth and wipes himself. Tried getting in the shower with him under the pretense of scrubbing his back and he went ballistic when I turned the shower on him! Won't repeat that one for a while. Shaving is an on again off again ordeal as well.
My husband is fully aware of his diagnosis. But from reading others here I wonder if at some point he may deny it. I think having a family history has helped him accept and know it.
I emailed his uncle (mother's brother) knowing he knew hb's paternal side asking what he knows of that history. Hb's paternal grandmother died of AD in her 90s. His dad's older siblings, of 6 kids, 4 had AD all dying in the 70s from AD. That would tell me they all showed enough signs for diagnosis in their 60s. Seems each generation has gotten younger when diagnosed. Hb's dad seemed to have lived the longest with it. I am going to try and track down a cousin from an aunt that did not have AD and see if he knows of any cousins on that side with it. When I read the stats to hb, he got a depressed look on his face and said ' then I have about 10 more years to live'. I said yes unless you hang on as long as your dad or it could be less years,we just don't know. I told him whatever it is, as long as he is able we are going to stop sitting here and live some more.
My husband is not aware of his having FTD. Before he was diagnosed two years ago, he would say his brain wasn't working properly. When his MRI showed frontal atrophy, and he was diagnosed with FTD, he would tell everyone that his brain was shrinking, but I don't think he has ever understood the implications of the diagnosis and what the future will be like. Now, he doesn't have a clue about his illness and to him nothing is wrong.
I have not had problems with his hygiene--more the opposite. He would shave himself raw and shower multiple times a day if I let him. He will change his clothes constantly during the day. I would rather have this than not showering at all.
My husband has been fully aware of the diagnosis since the beginning. We both knew something was wrong at least 2 years before he was diagnosed. He has seen other guys in his AD support group go down hill, so he is aware of what is coming, and that depresses him. He keeps saying he is going to try to hang on as long as he can.
However, his understanding of his own Alzheimer's Disease is limited to memory and slow processing. He knows he's slow to "get" things, and he knows he can't remember things. He cannot see or understand the poor reasoning and judgement skills, nor does he see his childlike behavior or the lack of abstract thinking. I guess that makes sense, because if you have poor reasoning, judgement, and only understand concrete language, how would you know otherwise?
My DH is like joang's husband. He is aware of his condition. But, he keeps telling me he is not as bad as I think he is. He has gotten worse since we moved into our new home closer to the kids and has not come back from that decline. He admits he can't do things he use to do and keeps saying he is not going to try and do those things, but he keeps on trying and fails. He pretends he understands TV but I know he doesn't. I have to prompt him to shower and shave. I knew there was a problem for at least 4 years and was convinced at least 2 1/2 years ago when they put him on the drug treatments.
Mine asked me why we're going to the neurologist tomorrow. "Why do I have to see a neurologist?" When I told him he has memory problems, he asked me to be more specific! But, sometimes he jokes about having dementia while talking to others! Go figure....
Mine has complete anogsognosia. Claims he has never had anything wrong with him, never been sick. And of course he doesn't have diabetes. When I check his blood sugar level at bedtime he thinks it is just another part of the tender loving care. Like a kid he tries to extend the bedtime routine and make me fuss with him longer.
My DH was put on Aricept 10 years ago for MCI. He is now around stage 5/6. He knows he had AD and sometimes I think he uses it to get out of little jobs, like unloading the dishwasher. I have a cast on my left arm and he can do things if I supervise. He did not like it when I told him how to fold clothes from the drier. He once told me he feels the same as before he had AD.
When my husband first began showing symptoms (and could still talk) he would ask me if he might have "old timers disease" as he called it. I always told him "no, I don't think so". Little did I know that he did not have Alzheimer's but he did have FTD. He lost his ability to communicate so quickly, I have never been able to judge just how much he does or does not know.