My husband has gotten to the point where I need to keep him inside the house all the time. But every afternoon he "has to go". He wants to go home. He wants his mother. He is worried about his father. He needs to see the man who's wife just died. Does he know who I am? Good Question although he has used my name three times this week for the first time in two years. Maybe he is looking for me too.
Anyway, he can't figure out the sliding door, but all the others he can still work. I'd like to avoid key locks on the bolts, but I'll do those if I have to. What I want is to know what other things people have done about the doors to keep their LO in that has worked.
Right now I'm literally putting my body against the door locks, but I don't want to continue to do that. It still shocks me that I'm faster than he is, and almost as strong.
So I'm also asking about what kinds of diversions have worked for some of you in the past. I literally can not think while all of this is going on, but I notice the aide does manage to divert him successfully.
Starling, I just erased a long response so I'll shorten it this time.
I went to the keyed dead bolts after dh got out and it took two hours and three police cars to find him. I put a hook at the top of the door frame and kept the key there. He never looked there for it. The lock didn't seem to bother him and he'd usually just say "OH well" and walk away. It was amazing how much I relaxed after they were on. I no longer had to worry about him getting out. I mentioned once before about putting the hook and eye locks on all the inside doors. These also relieved stress because I knew he wasn't going in other rooms and doing who knows what.
Eventually I did have to lock the sliding door. I did that with a board at the bottom and our door has a lock at the bottom that I could push in.
I read about a black rug, because they are afraid it's a hole and won't step on it. DH walked right to the middle of it and stood, so that didn't work for me. Also something over the door to disquise it, that one I never tried.
If he became persistant with one of the doors, I'd casually say "Let me try, sometimes this door sticks" then not letting him see how I open it, I'd open it and let he do what he wanted. At least that way if he went out I was there to go with him.
BTW after I was alone, the dead bolts were a comfort to me knowing they were locked. The key remains in the lock now and it is just habit to turn the key when I walk into the house.
I have a porch on both the front and back. For the outside doors leading to the porchs and door to the basement, I installed inexpensive bathroom doorknob locksets. I installed them backwards, so the on the locking mechanism was on the outside. There is a little screwdriver-like tool to open from the inside (like when a kid locks himself in the bathroom). I kept the little tool on top of the door frame. For safety's sake, I had a 3 pound hand sledge hammer in a drawer near the front door. If there was an emergency or I couldn't find the tool, I would be able to shear the doorknob off with the sledge. This was in response to two weeks of relentless, "I am going home", "I am going ...(somewhere that existed a long time ago). You can rely on footspeed and hypervigilance, but only for a while. DW would try the knob, jiggle it, sometimes get mad, but mostly would just go sit down again. She would try it every five minutes for hours. Getting controllable locks on the outside doors meant the ability to sleep and prevented countless stand ups and race to the door. My left knee was very happy about the door locks.
Starling - I tried the simple approach first. With my DW's lack of reasoning skills, I thought it would be worth a try. I always save those round Planter's peanut cans because they make good containers. I cut out a hole centered in the bottom of the can the same size as the door nob. I then cut a "notch" in that hole the same size as the neck of the doorknob. I slid the bottom end of the can over the knob then pushed the back of the can down into the notch so the can was level and stable. The can completely concealed the doorknob so my wife couldn't figure out what to do to open the door. She would stand there and look at it and sometimes tried to turn it but always gave up very easily. I could still easily reach in and turn the nob to open it. Since we know that all ALZ patients are different, this may not work for anyone else.
Since we're in an apartment, I couldn't put locks on the doors as some of you have done. I did put an alarm than rings a bell if the door is opened. Several times I have noticed DW open the door, hear the alarm, and go back into the apartment. If she does go out, I'm right behind her. She has stopped trying to go out recently, but I still keep the alarm turned on. I think I've mentioned before the one time I forgot to turn on the alarm. I found her gone and couldn't find her anywhere on our floor. I called down to Assisted Living, and they even called the State Police. 45 minutes later I found her in the apartment of one of the other residents, who is blind, so couldn't figure out who was sitting in his chair. I don't forget the alarm now.
For those of you who have round door knobs rather than levers, there is a childproofing product that spins on the knob unless you grip it firmly. See http://www.amazon.com/American-Cross-Door-Knob-Cover/dp/B001NJP07K/ref=pd_sbs_ba_1
Starling, your descriptions of dh's sundowning is so similar to mine!
Diversions: I find that it often helps to take him out -- nowadays we do most of our grocery shopping during the sundowning hours. Then we go "home' again and sometimes he settles and no longer harps on "going home." I feel so sorry for him sometimes, he has this NEED to go there, but doesn't know where. It must be so bewildering. Yesterday afternoon he was asking if I would take him in my car ("You still have a car that works OK, don't you?") and when I refused he asked "Can't you help me?" in such a beseeching tone that I relented and off we went in the car (to Aldi's where naturally on a Saturday night they were sold out of most of the stuff I buy there). Sometimes we go to MacDonalds for a snack.
Pam, they also have one out with 2 holes that you have to put your thumb and first finger thru to turn it. My 2 year old grandson has not figured that one out yet. I even have trouble with it. My hb has not figured it out (he had trouble with the squeeze ones) and he is still in the early stages.
Starling, we have both deadbolts from years ago because DH traveled extensively and I was home alone and the door alarms when the door is opened it rings or alarms (bought at Walmart). I'm not sure why you don't want the keyed locks, but they have worked well for us, generally. Today DH got very angry with me because he knew I had the key and accused me of "keeping him prisioner" in his own home. When DH wants to go out, there is very little either I or the aide can do to distract him. We usually tell him we will go out after XXXX..but that's not working as well anymore.