...I'm so glad I found you! I'm sorry we're traveling this road but I'm so glad we're traveling together. Where else can we learn from people with experience? You have helped me so much and this is the first place I come to when looking for answers. Thank you and thank you Admin for providing this safe place for us.
Audrey: Welcome. I don't know what I would have done without this website and these wonderful people. I think their advice, and understanding, made me a better caregiver. And I certainly needed to quit resenting everything that came at me and take care of my DW.
Audrey, this is the only place I go to. I have tried the Alzheimer Website and calling them but do not get anywhere near the same quality of advice that we get here. It is the best place for all of us.
i think we as caregivers surely go thru the AD stages with our learning process. we start out as panicky novices knowing nothing about AD and read- learn and practice ways to make things work to the best of our ability. those of you starting out on their journeys thru AD have the ones ahead of you to look to for guidance and plenty of handson down-- in- the trenches ideas-plus the wonderful experiences of those who have already lost their spouses to dementia who serve all of us as mentors to the 'after' life we all so look forward to. one day you newbies will be the motivation and mentors to those who follow in your steps. --and those who find this website after you will also continue the gratitude we all have for finding this wonderful place that helps so many-
Yes-this has been an adventure. I am sure many of us have found strength within ourselves that we never knew existed. We learned that it is all up to us and found we could do it all. Not happily, not with strength-but with incredible courage. We've been through the fire and most have come out as better people. Tempered steel.
I'm not tempered, I'm more embittered. My worst nightmare came true. I used to worry when we were first married, that she would get in a car accident, or be raped or murdered, none of which happened, but then at age 46, to hear she had a brain tumor that turned out to be malignant was a nightmare. At that time they said she had probably two years to live. That was the end of my happy world. For the next 10 years, we lived under the cloud of annual MRIs to see if the tumor came back...it didn't, but the surgery and radiation started the dementia process, and the long goodbye had begun. So now she is gone, and I am mad as hell at life, and don't care whether I live or die. I guess that does make me stronger...ready to make it a death wish by not being afraid of anything...tornado, mugger, carjacker, burgler. You want my car? I don't think so...BANG!
I always hoped I would die before my husband. He was my entire world. He put me on a pedestal and did everything he could for me. I refuse to dishonor his memory by not carrying on my life with meaning. I have taken over the mentoring in the schools he did for years, in his honor. I continue to donate blood in his memory-in his lifetime he donated enough blood to float a battleship. I know he would be proud of knowing he gave me the tools to keep on living with joy.
Nora that is a great testimony of your love for your dh. I feel much the same way. I think it is my responsibility to carry on as he would have done. He was always a leader in the community and well respected. I try to live each day to its fullest and not let AD claim a second victim. We were married over 50 years working together 24/7 - in each others pockets. Now I am pocketless.. but I will be a survivor and a roll model for our children and grandchildren.
TJ, I'm glad you are taking your medication. I know how much you miss your wife. Have you thought about going to bereavement meetings? Others who go says it helps them.
Bluedaze and lmohr, you both are inspiring to me with your attitudes. Thank you for posting.
I want to be just like bluedaze and lmohr when I grow up!
Hold on, TJoe, you can make it through this awful time and go on to make your late DW smile down on you from heaven. She would want a good life for you and I believe you have the strength to make it happen just like bluedaze and lmohr are doing.