I've read lots of "poop" posts and can't find anything that fits my question. DH goes to the bathroom, sits, does his business and wipes himself. THEN...he throws the tissue on the floor! Several wads of tissue on the floor, he get up and steps on at least one of them but usually more.
Anyone else had this problem? Anyone with a solution to this problem? LOL!! I realize that compared to some of the stories I've read this is just a very minor irritation...
only thing i can suggest is a trash can next to the toilet where he can see it? i can see that could become a bad habit! and maybe stick your head in and guide him to throwing it into the trash. this is one of the first clues things are going amiss in the toileting area so more supervision may become needed soon. sorry! divvi
briegull, thats exactly what I've been doing! Thanks for the quick response. I just wondered if there is any way to help him remember the way to do it....I need to stop thinking that way and just go with what he can do. As I said, compared to others, this is minor but I want to help him if there is any way ....
Thanks divvi, I think we were posting about the same time. I thought of the trash can and then decided that might lead to more problems. I was afraid this was one of the "first clues" so guess I may as well get prepared. Thanks!
briegull, you're right but there are some areas that repetition has helped in DH's case. We do directions to his neurologist and he can tell me what street, what landmarks etc. while sitting at the table. We practice this frequently and it has been a "learned" thing for him. Strange. There are days he gets lost in the house and yet those directions stick in his head. Remember the phrase from some TV show..."space, the final frontier."? I remember saying to DH then, "the mind is the final frontier." Little did I know then what we would be facing...and I'm glad we didn't know then what we know now!
Since I am still wearing the Poop Queen Crown, I will chime in here. My DH does the same thing with toilet paper. Unfortunately, he pees all over the floor first, so the TP them becomes soaked in urine. Lovely to pick up. I just deal with it.
I will mention that it is a good day when he remembers to USE toilet paper. Many days he doesnt. Try to notice before he sits on anything and get him in the shower.
I have never made an issue of the TP on the floor. There is no space for a trash can in our toilet bowl area. Again, I just deal with it and am grateful he pooped in the toilet bowl and not anywhere else.
Sheltifan...who wants the tiara? Gotta give it to someone...someday! Line up!
Won't a small. white plastic trash can sit in front of the toilet (like if you were going at both ends at the same time - close)? My husband used to take five squares of TP, while sitting on the toilet and intricately fold them into the neatest squares! And never used them. <grin> He would stuff some in his pockets, some in his shoes (they are slip on houseshoes-machine washable, of course!) and I would find them everywhere....but they were clean, thank goodness! <grin> And if the toilet paper roll was empty, he would shred it in little bitty pieces and flush it down the toilet - ONE LITTLE BITTY PIECE AT A TIME!
Also, I highly recommend getting a box of disposable gloves. Hospice supplies mine, thank goodness.
Just be thankful that the toilet paper hiding is confined to the bathroom.....I found the used "goods" in cabinets, drawers and worse. My husband also fashioned underwear out of toilet paper and then it would come out of his pants leg and would be trailing behind him. Oh my....such memories.....
After reading some of the responses (and laughing some of the time) I have one thing to say: Thank goodness DH puts TP on the floor! LOL!! It could be much worse and will probably be much worse later. I just wondered if there happened to be a way to help him out a bit. Mary, I think I might try the trash can idea..at least if he hits that it would be 'confined!!"
Just think of many places in the world where plumbing is bad and you are required to put TP in a container next to the toilet..Many places in Mexico that is the case...and old places in Hawaii...rather odd at first, but go with the customs.Does that make it any easier in your home :-)
Be glad you are not in countries like in Asia where they still have a hole in the floor to squat over. Our spouses, plus us, would never make it. In RV's many people only put #2 TP in the toilet, #1 goes in the garbage can.
On Monhegan in Maine everyone as a matter of course uses the trash can. I wonder if my husband would have had troubles if he hadn't become incontinent early along.
I've even been in the florida Keys where the TP had to be placed in a waste basket. Dh also keeps tissues, napkins, tp (clean) in his pockets. Of course, i never remember to check all his pockets so sometime the laundry is quite linty. (LOL). DH has discovered the key to wiping.... he doesn't, at least, looking at his depends, it appears he doesn't. he wears them for urinary slight incontinence but I must say, i never noticed his regular underwear getting quite so stained as the depends are. Happily, they are disposible. Yahhh.
My husband is also folding napkins from restaurants and saving them in his pockets. From time to time I manage to throw some of them away. We also have folded paper towels on our end table under the remote. And that has been going on for months. For a while I tried to use them up and disappear them, but he would just fold more of them.
Didn't notice anyone discussing this here before. But it looks like it is a common symptom that we will never see in a book and that the doctors probably don't know about.
My wife frequently tries to take the napkins. Here in our retirement home I can return them to the dinning room, but we have several from local restaurants (cloth napkins) that I can't return (not sure which restaurant) so we are using them. I have learned to watch her closely when we leave the table.
"Didn't notice anyone discussing this here before. But it looks like it is a common symptom...." Starling, you may be on to something. Is it wrong to say I was "glad" when I read yours, Chris' & Vickie's comments about puting napkins, Sweet N Low, etc. in pockets? May I add to the list, papers straws come in? On occasion hb has added mine to his collection, too. AND I don't always remember to check pockets before washing. One would think that would be routine!? I've asked hb "why" in the past, but that upsets him so now I don't ask "why" about anything because he doesn't know, and it upsets him. Granddaughter suggested not asking "why", "how do you feel," etc. because it requires a higher level of thinking than he's capable of. Right on, you young whippersnapper:) Wiser than her granny.
Besides the neatly folding the paper towels and toilet paper thing, my DH just likes to pull off wads of toilet paper from the roll. He never uses it, but just balls it up and throws it in the toilet. Not so good for the plumbing! He just can't quite recall the true purpose ot toilet paper!
I had to remove the waste basket from the bathroom as it would get used instead of the toilet.
Oh, my, I just wish my DH (he'll be 67 next month) knew to tell me he is ready to have a BM. When I notice some in the pull ups I try to get him to push on the toilet but I guess I should be grateful it is even there. So now I just clean him up the best I can and put what I can in the trash. I started using bags that have a nice smell. When I ask DH if he needs to "poop" he gives me this frowning expression like I am crazy. So I just wait. Some days he will go 3 times. Then we have the days of no poop at all and begin the Mialax again. We never had the fun of folding paper (just kidding). Oh, yes, I also know about the standing and peeing on the floor. At least those times it happened in the bathroom. Yesterday I just had DH walk into the shower (again) to make sure I got his butt cleaned. Some days are more work than others. I have a small waste basket that I move around as needed. I always have a supply of TP, baby wipes and Clorax disposables handy. I seem to wash my hands so many times, I wonder if the skin will ever be the same. Now that I am also having the diaper rash/jock itch issue, I am washing my hands more after each treatment of Lamisil and A&D or Desitin. Trying to keep DH dry is my biggest issue at the moment especially in this heat. Gave up on using the regular cotton underpants with pads as he was wetting himself anyway. Don't know how anyone goes places with these issues. I put him on the toilet about every 2 hrs. We are able to get our walk in each day and local shopping but that seems to be our social life.
My mom did that...folded up kleenex tissues. Never ever toss one out before checking it out..it could be a means they use to hide money, jewelry. something valuable or just well you know, something from the snot locker. I would have lost my mom's wedding rings if I had not checked them out one by one.
DH has this thing for napkins..he has always used them as a coaster..but now he just sort of piles them up and I have to toss them when he is not looking or paying attention.
Mine has always taken a dozen napkins out of the holder at once, and arranged them around in front of him (this, over a heavyweight cloth tablecloth). I learned to buy the very cheapest since he'd do it with the expensive ones as well. And he'd fold them up very very carefully as far as he could. I think there's some kind of a rule that says you can't fold anything more than n times... He'd get there. Now he'll start on his sheet, anything in reach.
Just returned from a few days away and had to comment on the comments here. My DH also stores napkins, paper towels, TP and whatever else he can find to serve as kleenex......except kleenex! My SIS had a good laugh because evertime she went in the bathroom there, all neatly folded for her use, would be a pile of TP my DH thoughtfully left her. He also lines his underwear with it and I am forever having to shake it out when sorting clothes. As far as putting the trash next to the toilet...forget it. My DH will empty the trash into the toilet and doesn't care what's in it. Plumbing bills can get pretty hefty!
It's unbelievable! I've been keeping all these happenings to myself -- can't really share this with family or friends, but I come here and ... wow! All of you are experiencing the same things. Yes, folding and storing napkins is a constant ritual ... so neatly into little squares ... and how many times have I left them in his pockets at laundry time ... lint on everything. What are they thinking and what does it mean?
As far as peeing on the floor ... I'm fortunate in that it only amounts to a couple of drops EVERY TIME, so I'm mopping up all day. The poop problem has only happened once so far. I had to struggle hard with my stomach and to keep from gagging, but if it happens again, I'll remember all my computer friends who are dealing with this problem and I'll try to be strong.
Isn't it amazing that they all do the same things? I'm so happy for this website.
Whenever my DH is in the bathroom and he ends up being there longer than I think he should I go in and find out what he is up to. The only other thing I could do is to stay with him the whole time he is there. I may end up doing that also. He pees on the floor, washing his hands with toothpaste, cuts hunks of hair off his head. I think that most of those things we are just going to have to deal with because it really isn't worth getting upset about and whenever I am stupid enough to ask him why he did it or does he know that what he is doing is not right he just looks at me like I have three heads and doesn't respond anyway.
My DH doesn't have poopy accidents well he has had, but not lately. but now I notice the depends are soiled, like he didn't wipe well enough. so when i give him a sponge bath, that's an area I pay special attention, especially since he hardly showers, so it's always sponge baths. I just want to make sure he doesn't get sore in that area, you know from not wiping well enough. Since he's now on respedrol, he lets me wash him, help him shave and goes to 'work' day care, happily. what a difference a drug makes.!
Another option if you want bigger ones or are particular of what is in them - make your own. take a roll of paper towels, cut in half width wise, put in plastic bag and pour hot water with baby oil or whatever you want in. I am sure you can google to find out exactly how much of each. My dil use to do it for the kids.
And I highly recommend buying a box of rubber gloves. They are cheaper than lotion, shaving cream, etc. to keep the odor off of your hands. I scoffed at the idea myself, until I used one a few months ago....you CAN teach an old dog new tricks!!! <grin>
I use the Cottonelle wipes - same as baby wipes. I also use Aquaphor (similar to Vaseline but lotiony) in the baby items as well - on the rear - the Depends seems to dry his skin out and using this every couple of days stops him from scratching...
I agree Mary. Indispensible, even after. I even use them when I am going to hand-dig in the garden. Work so much better for me than gardening gloves. A friend who has the acrillic nails gave me the idea. She keeps her nails beautiful and says even though her hands sweat - she is used to it because she has to wear them all day at work.
One especially good use for me was handling my Mom's false teeth. I NEVER could stand handling false teeth. I could change her colostomy bag of poop with no problem but when I started having to brush her teeth and apply the paste inside I shuttered. The vinyl gloves worked wonders for me.
This is old, but worth repeating for the Newbies... Put a dab of Vick's under your nose when you have poop duty... it's what policemen and medical examiners often do when working with decaying bodies. Doesn't work completely, but stops the gagging. It worked for me.
Lois, your comment about the false teeth brought back a memory. When my dear Mom was dying I often cleaned her teeth for her -- didn't bother me. She died in a hospital in the early morning hours and I was not there. When I spoke to the nurse that called with the news I recall asking her to put Mom's teeth in before the funeral home staff came to pick her up. She assured me she would.
My DW uses TP and doesn’t know what to do with it afterward. She will put it down somewhere or just carry it around until I notice. When I tell her to put it in the toilet, she acts like she doesn’t understand what I’m saying. So I just try to watch and take care of it myself.
Jerry, this is really typical behavior...or at least it was with us. My husband would hide the used TP....it was horrible to open a cupboard and find it laying on a stack of clean dishes. The dishwasher got a good workout during that period of time. Don't push the issue of flushing...then anything and everything will go down there. Plumbing bills add up quickly.....
My hb is not urine incontinent, but he seems not to know when he's going to poop. Does it in his pants. Then he doesn't want to sit down; that's my clue to "wander" up close and take a few deep breaths. THEN the battle begins of getting him to let me help him disrobe and clean up. So far, eventually, I win but not without great effort. I have rubber gloves, wipes that are supposedly flushable (we're on a septic system so I've been hesitant about making wipes from paper towels.); but good ole soap and water works best after the wipes. Tenas or cotton briefs--makes no dif. He doesn't want to sit down on the stool. We have a raised toilet, but I'm thinking I should add to that. I don't know whether he doesn't know when he needs to go or whether the sitting is a problem. He does okay sitting in a chair. Any comments/suggestions/advice?
We are EOAD which I understand to have the best chance of not becoming chronically incontinent until stage 7. We are beginning to have the 'not sit down' issue though. Exactly the same. Couch, chair fine. Toilet - no way. I bend her and hold her when that happens since I'm much larger than she is. We also have the toilet paper anywhere but down the toilet issue.
I don't have enough experience; but, I'm suspicious it IS the sitting down on the toilet. It seems clear your DH stands to pee and does that fine. So going to the toilet to empty the bladder is not the issue.
Sitting down involves trust. There is a moment where we have to believe. Yet they sit on other surfaces. Wish I could help. I'm likely to face this on both ends since my DW does NOT stand to pee.
zibby its my experience and a lot of it:( that you should forget the commode and use a shower chair now with the hole in the bottom instead for cleaning. its a real chair so he may be more accomodating for cleanup. i also suggest dont skimp here its somethig you will use from here on out. get a good padded arms and back sturdy one so it lasts and is comfy and secure. you can learn little tips as you go. but as they turn to grasp the handles of the shower chair you can jerk the pants down quickly to his ankles. not easy at first they will fight and fingers will hold on in the deathgrip. haha. this is not unusual. and you have to learn to be quick. nobody wants their pants pulled off but we know they must come off to get the cleaning done. from below the chair. they come with a plastic insert that attaches and removes from underneath for cleaning. not having to deal with cleaning messy toilets in itself was better for me. you can take the chair out and even hose it down if needed.. and thenyou can use it for showering as well. i actually had two. one in shower one in an open area of bathroom. i dont think i would have made it here without both these super tools. ps stools without handles or padding backs and arms may make him feel uneasy and fearful of falling. i wouldnt chose to put anything down my septic. a good closed container and liners would make sure you dont have problems at some point. i also tried the added topper to the reg toilet so it was higher and it scared him silly. they can become fearful of just about anything. good luck. divvi
My goodness, how I love you all. This subject is one that I've dealt with in secret... I have found balls of IT in the shower, smeared on every surface in the bath and on door jambs and recently when the ominous odor attacked me, I cleaned thoroughly and left to run an errand,, getting home, that odor again, careful inspection found a large piece of IT on the heating register... I know he used that as the toilet.. Mercy, I didn't think to look there but do now. cleaning that was fun.. rubber gloves and my short arms went down into the register and cleaned for an hour. when I ask him about it, he said he had no knowledge of that and someone else had done it... FYI, there are only two of us living here.. I think having to always check behind DH is the worst but there are times I can't be right behind him.. I'm learning to follow him around and that makes him mad BUT it saves me a lot of work later.. If one more person says to me how normal he is, I might club 'em.. I know this subject a bit off this thread but today DH ask where he could buy Foley catherters.. Seems he sees being hooked up to this everynight, will give him a good nights sleep without getting up to go to the bathroom. Can you imagine this? He assured me that he would bathe his penis in alcohol before inserting.... Just when I thought I'd heard it all, he comes up with another...Got to leave you now, no doubt more bright suggestions forthcoming.. Thanks, for assuring me that I'm not alone... Peggy
Thanks for the suggestion of shower chair w/hole in seat, padded arms and back. I haven't seen one like that, but will look. Peggy, I had to laugh. I have a secret, too. I've found balls of x.# wrapped in toilet paper in bathroom cupboard and on the bathroom counter.
OT Last night I caught him pouring a pkg of frozen peas in his hat. I'd set the pkg of peas on the counter to heat for supper and turned my back. He has to be watched all the time because there's no guessing what he'll be fascinated with next. To me this is the hardest part: I can't let my guard down 1 second; so tiring.
i highly recommend this padded shower seat with the arms and back. i see its on sale. 95dol. i paid 149 several yrs ago. its held up well and comfy. and adjustable heights to fit.
you can go thru joans homepage to amazon and she will get credit. they have alot more to choose from but not too many with holes in the middle for cleanup. made by LUMEX you might google padded portable commodes too.