DH has FTD and has lost his ability to problem solve, so when something in the house doesn't work, instead of asking for help, he will continue to get it to work using increasing force until it breaks. Yesterday he aparently tried to flush the toilet and something must have been wrong with the flushing mechanism. Instead of asking for help, he apparently forced it so the handle and the flushing mechanism broke. he finally called me when he couldn't get it to flush; when I got to the bathroom, the handle was in the sink and I discovered the mechanism was broken. Not only is this a major inconvience (downstairs powder room) but it happened over a weekend so we have to wait until Monday to get a plumber. I am so frustrated that he breaks things (storm door, vertical blinds, toilet, etc) that work and I have to either pay for costly repairs or replace the items, also at great inconvenience and cost. We no longer have large sums of disposable income for these repairs since cost of his care is so expensive and I am now on SSDI. Does anyone else have these problems? Or recommendation on how to get this to stop?
Yep, I did have that problem.....I think I, singlehandedly, paid for a brand new car for my plumber one year. My husband never could fix anything and AD only made it more apparent. The most costly thing he ruined...hmmm.....that must have been my beautiful wood cabinets....he decided to clean them with a damp sponge with Spic N Span....they were ruined...I could have and did cry...and scream and holler and threaten.....He also pulled both handles off my side by side refrigerator/freezer, stopped up the toilet with everything under the sun and peed on everything in sight.
I wish I knew what would stop this behavior...mine stopped when I placed him in an AD facility....or rather he then started ruining their things. By the time I brought him back home he was bedridden and easy to care for.
I hope your husband loses interest in being a handyman soon....Hugs....
LFL, we must be married to twins! G WAS very handy before this and fixed everything..now he feels he still can do this, but ends up forcing and breaking everything in sight. I would hate to make a list of all the things destroyed in the last 3-4 years and the repair/replacement cost! I am extremely fortunate to have found a savior from Craig's List. He is a maintenance person that will come at a moments notice on weekends or when ever should the need arise. He has been truly wonderful...and here weekly!! Our most costly thing???Three cars and a new 17 ft freezer full of meat! Our neighbor stores all our ladders now as that is just way too tempting for "repairs". When things are quiet, I'm on alert! A "mission" might be in the offing.
My husband can join the list,we've had the plumber 3 times already this year.He breaks almost everything he tries to fix and things he tries to fix that don't need fixing.He has a thing for the dogs collars.Always cutting them apart.Thinks they don't fit right.He'll start a job, forget what he's doing and let everything set and go on to something else. I used to get on him to clean up his mess but he says "I didn't do it, you must have".If I ask him to stop working on something he will look at me defiantly and keep on.I guess we have no choice but to try to ignore it.Makes both our loves easier.
Me too Jeanette. No initiative whatsoever. But he did gouge a door pretty severely trying to install a locking mechanism, and disassemble a number of things (front door lockset, shower cartridge) which I then had to put back together, before he lost his initiative.
Thankfully, my hb has "lost initiative," but I wish he had it for cooking (he was good), sweeping, etc. ;O Yes, I'm curious to hear answers to marilyninMD's ? .
MarilyninMD, my wife just gradually gave up doing things she shouldn't. Now all she does is try to re-arrange things on tables. Fortunately, I have not had any problems with her breaking things.
My husband was never a "fix it" man. After AD, he became Tim, the Tool Man, Taylor!!!! He took a ceiling fan apart and when he put the blades back, he ruined it - I had to buy a new ceiling fan. I don't know WHAT he tried to fix in the dishwasher, but the plumber couldn't fix it - I had to buy a new dishwasher! Then a new garbage disposal. Then he "fixed" our Kirby vacuum cleaner. I had to get a new vacuum cleaner. The damage he did to the car was $200 deductible, so I didn't have the $3,000 bill for that repair. AND, we had to hide the ladders too! (To keep him off the roof) - and Diane threatened to hide the tool box in her trunk! <grin>
They LOVE to hear water running - whether flushing things (that don't need to be and shouldn't be) down the toilet, OR running water in the kitchen sink while loading/unloading the clean/dirty dishes (and NOT in the correct order!) ---
This is normal for AD and hard on the caregivers whose spouses go through this....it will pass, but not before it has cost you a lot of money....my cost was well over $1,000 for plumbing and electrician charges....
Mary,myhusband is so carefulabout water,afraid he's wasting it.Will run a few drops to rinse a cup,barely enough for a shower,funny thing is,we have an artesian well which we have to run a sump pump to keep it from flooding the well pump out.Blows the cap everytime the plumber seals it off.I keep telling AH to please use all the water he can.Deaf ears
It is encouraging (is that really the right term?) to know that others are dealing with the same weird things. He headed downstairs a bit ago..when asked why, he couldn't remember,so came back up..a reprieve for a bit! But, I know he'll try again. I can't think of anything left to "fix" there as I have emptied out his shop, but creative he can be !
When I read this thread earlier, it occurred to me that my husband hadn't broken anything for a while. We had the same plumbing issues that several of you did a couple of years ago, but DH now accepts calling a plumber. Well, tonight he broke my brand new umbrella, and he wasn't even trying to fix it - just to keep dry. Can't figure out what he did!