And so it goes. On and on. Due to his neuropathy and diabetic condition affecting his feet, Sid broke a bone in his GOOD (relatively speaking) foot. Long story, but the bottom line is that he is in a big boot; he must use a walker to go from the chair to the bathroom; and he must use a wheelchair for any other distance, even in the house. Now, the problem with that is he forgets what the doctor said and argues with me about the wheelchair. "It's not that far from the den to the bedroom", he complains.
A stubborn man is difficult to deal with, but a stubborn man with Alzheimer's Disease is impossible. We got the list of instructions from the doctor at 4:30 this afternoon. By the time we got into the house at 5, he had already forgotten what the doctor said, so he started arguing with me about the wheelchair. Which, by the way, I got from my neighbor, who happened to have an extra one in her garage.
So, I called my father and told him - one at a time. I either wheel you over here to visit Sid, or Sid over there to visit you. Can't take you both anywhere at the same time.
Honestly, if I didn't have a sense of humor, I'd be locked up in a padded cell.
FYI - I don't know if every city has this service, but the doctor told me that there was a volunteer donation place in back of the hospital - run by the EMT's or fire department I think. They have all kinds of adaptive equipment that they will lend you for 6 weeks for a small donation. I gave the guy $10, and I have a walker for 6 weeks. He was out of wheelchairs, but as I said, my neighbor had one.
so sorry to hear about this new incident. seems like when it rains it pours...... hope you have some time to chill a little and collect your thoughts. I so understand about the stubborn man with alz. It is not fun at all. hope you have a better tomorrow......
Don't know which would be worse, Joan. Sid with a broken foot or you with a broken foot.
I went through the second one. I had to care for Bill during the time he was going through his wandering phase. My foot broken, him wandering out of the house. I had a big dinner bell that I would ring when he got out so the neighbor could catch him and bring him back home. NOT A FUN TIME.
Joan..if you need a walker, I have 3 of them hanging around, let me know and I will get it up to you.. I also know someone who has a power wheelchair and a electric hoist lift for a van....and they are only asking about $600, I think,.. Sorry to hear about the foot....I thought that assisted living facility had the escalator type sidewalks........
Your plate seemed full to me before this; now you're filling a platter. So sorry. And I whine because my hb burned tomato soup so bad I had to through the Revereware pan out! I didn't react to the faint smell quickly enough at 2:00 a.m.; so it's my fault. Finally sunk in my sleepy mind that this was more than a "faint" odor. I think I'd have to sign myself into an adult care center if I had to worry about all you and others work with daily.
Joan, I really feel for you. Yesterday DH broke a capped tooth and had to go to the dentist. The tooth couldn't be saved so it was pulled. We came home with little squares of gauze to stop the bleeding. The man who doesn't talk wanted to talk non stop. Could not understand why he should keep his mouth closed. Not only that he started chewing on the gauze like it was gum. I am very thankful that I only had one day of this.
Yikes. The rational head would say..if the pain is bad enough, they'll stay off the foot.. None of that applies to anyone w alz. Same with dental instructions etc. I'm hoping that today is better. ??? eyeieee.
I am so sorry you are having this problem but it has given me a warning as my DH has diabetes and is also troubled by the neuropathy in the feet. His walking is slow and there is other stuff too that is seeming difficult now..maybe the AD and balance..
You mentioned one thing in your tale here which I am now seeing more of and that is the argumentative side of DH. He was always a little bossy...like when driving he would say..." Why are you parking there or I told you to park here.." and my reply would be " because I want to park here..or something like that. My middle girl who is here visiting, said when I remarked that he didn't used to be so bossy said " OH yes he was"..and listed the times she saw it.Well now it is getting more so..no please..just " get this" " stop what YOU are doing and do this for ME now" etc..and I bristle at this..it is not just the tone but the missing "please" at the end of a demand. When he did this in his healthy days, I would tell him I am not his LCpl or his admin clerk..I held the same rank you did and I will thank you to remember that! ( both of us Marines...2 leaders in one household... : ) makes for tough forward edge of the battle area ...I am not the typical " Little Lady" LOL) In all seriousness, that bossy demanding attitude is tough to take and it does not always work telling myself it is the disease. When my mom had this disease, I always thought and still do despite some others views to the contrary, that sometimes what the person "really felt" about someone or something comes out with this disease and sometimes those hurtful remarks they make they really mean but when they were healthy knew polite society would frown upon... Got doc appts today..gearing up while I can before DH is up and at em..
Mimi - I have wondered the same thing. I not so sure that they say what they really mean but they certainly do say whatever thought is in their head at that moment. I sometimes describe the process of the disease as "stripping away the veneer that a person's choices and society have laid on them".
Joan - so sorry to hear about another thing with Sid. I agree - a sense of humor is a must to survive some of what the diseases throws at us caregivers.
Joan, I'm so sorry! It is a good thing you have a sense of humor.....have you considered wheelchair races on the sidewalk? Pop a wheelie? Wheelchair basketball?
On the serious side, could you have the doctor write down his instructions so Sid could read them when he says that the doctor didn't say that? Would it help at all?
I am glad you don't have to worry about the meals with them! My prayers are with the three of you!
Every day I get up and say - I am so THANKFUL that I moved here. I don't know what I would do if I was still in the house isolated from everyone. As soon as I told the PT, who was treating Sid for his back, about the broken foot, he said he would come over this afternoon and re-evaluate him, and give him new goals for learning how to use the walker properly, how to transfer to the wheelchair, etc.
The OT was with my father this morning, and told me that she would check Sid out, and see what she could do for him. The PTA was in the ALF hallway, and told me that she's at the ALF all of the time, so I should just call her, and she would bring my father to my Villa when she goes back to the office (which is in a Villa across the street from me), so I wouldn't have to do it.
Sid feels badly that I have so much to do, so he is being very cooperative today. Besides, I used my "teacher" voice this morning when I brought him the wheelchair. I said - SIT! And don't give me any trouble about it. He sat. He's depressed because of everything that is happening to him. Can't blame him.
And I have adopted the Southern way of life that used to drive me crazy when I first moved down here. Slow and easy. I'm not rushing. Whatever it is, it will get done, but I'm taking it slow.
Mary - you little devil! < grin> Wheelchair races - leave it to you to think of that! Not a bad idea, except it's 100 degrees out. Besides, my neighbor has an electric one - unfair advantage.
No, I don't think their 'true' personality comes out when they say unkind things to you. My DH often said things that were simply not true about all sorts of people and events that never happened, altho if you didn't know otherwise, you'd think it was true, just all made up in the moment. I think most have had this experience. But even knowing it's the disease, it can hurt.
I have wonderful siblings. My brother (step) and sister-in-law up in RI took care of both my father and stepmother for the 4 years since I moved to Florida. They did EVERYTHING from packing and moving them from their home to Assisted Living to Nursing Home. They answered the late night calls; they did the hospital runs. They did everything. My sister, who lives in Chicago, did the emergency traveling to RI when necessary. When I decided it was best to move my father down here to the ALF next door to me after my stepmom died, brother and sister-in-law did all the packing, and my sister flew from the funeral in RI back home to Chicago, and a week later, flew from Chicago to RI to gather up my father, then flew with him down here, then she flew back to Chicago. My sister-in-law calls it "tag teaming". We each do what we are best at, and I definitely thought it was time for them to have a rest. She and my brother are both CPA's, so my father's bills are sent to them, and they handle that end of it.
The PT just left. He was able to convince Sid that NON WEIGHT BEARING means wheelchair, so I think we'll be okay. Tomorrow, I am going to the medical supply store to buy him the recliner that lifts you up so you don't have to put weight on your feet to get up. He's been needing one for a long time, but he's been resisting. Now he has no choice. I have the prescription from the doctor for it.
Wow, Joan, please give your siblings all sorts of gold stars & hugs for what they've done. I know how much you appreciate it. In spite of other things, you are truly blessed.
medicare should pay for the lift chair if you have a script joan. i am getting one thru hospice dr and then taking to local medical supply and bill to medicare. it may be rented but thats ok too.best of luck trying to juggle dad and sid. dont get too comfy thinking sid will remember (G) divvi
WHEELIES..I used to do wheelies with my dad and it was a kick..the dog, dad and I would go on walks and out of the blue I would say.." are ya ready for some fun?" and Dad would laugh and we would do a wheelie and the dog would do his doggie dance.
Joan, I spoke to soon, didn't I? How lucky you are to have them! I have one sister, but I know I can count on her, too. She and I worked together taking care of my mom and dad. We never had any arguments about who was going to take care of them or take them to the doctor, etc. I'm as fortunate as you are as far as siblings go.