My DH has major problems with vision so I'm having a very hard time finding things for him to do. He takes out the garbage, he 'washes dishes' by hand and really enjoys that. (Side note: I sometimes take dishes from the cabinet and stack beside the sink and then say "look how many dishes I have to wash!" After the wash up I have to mop the floor but thats OK because for that period of time he is happily helping me.) He feeds the cats. He feeds the birds. Can't see well enough to enjoy TV (never a big TV fan anyway). He loves music and listens/sings along. Before all this he was always doing "things." I think he is bored and I can understand.
I wish I could help. My hb doesn't want to help with anything, has no hobbies, doesn't read much, can't follow story lines on TV. I've been watching sporting events because he'll sit for that. I asked him to sweep the deck or use the blower to clear catalpa blossoms off. He said, "You can do it." I said yes, but it would help if he'd do it for me. He didn't. If I ask him to help w/anything, his response is the same, "You can do it." I can understand his boredom; wish we lived someplace like Joan where I could send him off on excursions and activities.
My DH sweeps...he sweeps the grass, the driveway, the garage floor.....anything he can. He has a long handled grabber and picks up leaves and debris in the yard. He also "cleans" the kitchen but not necessarily very sanitary so I have to go back and do it again. But when that is done he is bored. He paces until I am crazy and then we get in the car and go for a ride. We are in the car everyday. He cannot comprehend things to play games anymore so winter is awful here. He would not fit in a daycare setting as he thinks nothing is wrong with him. Wish I could give you suggestions but need them myself.
Thanks! Seems as though we all have the problems. I had forgotten sweeping. DH likes to sweek the deck. I'll suggest he do the grass. We do lots of "road trips." Jump in the car and ride wherever. That is a soothing think for my husband. Maybe someone else can help us out here!
Zibby, I am at your spot also. I can't get him to do anything at all. He moves from room to room with his walker..banging up everything in his way..then lays down in the living room , moves back to the family room and this process goes on all day long! I want to scream! I know he feels antsy and try to get him to alleviate it by walking a room to room circle. That works sometimes, but not so much of late. He absolutely is driving me nutzo! Doesn't seem to bother him a bit. Scream time.
Funny how familiar these threads always are. Jeff also has visual processing problems since he's primarily PCA. He does sweep the back patio. It's his best "chore," but he hasn't thought of doing it in a few days. Otherwise road trips are good. We try to run an errand and get lunch most days, just for entertainment. Like phil4:13's husband, mine cannot play games. He "reads" the same books over and over without, I think, getting anywhere. TV has mostly lost its interest. Once in a while a friend takes him out for lunch. This is good.
I have mentioned this before....some people object to "treating their spouses like children" but mentally, in stages 6 and 7, they are. There are the battery powered toothbrushes that require a AAA battery and the vibration soothes them...and he brushes his teeth, brushes his eyebrows, brushes his mustache..you get the picture..but try to take it away from him - I'd rather try to take candy from a toddler! <grin>
He also has a small polka dot dog that has ribbons for legs and stuffed balls for feet and head, and is an infant's toy, but he loves to hold it and take the big plastic ring off (the one you use to attach it to the bed or playpen). He also has what I describe as a clear plastic ball on a flashlight that when you push the button, different colored lights spin around and the base vibrates too. These are some of the "toys" that amuse him now.
He used to "read" long after reading and comprehension left him; he used to look at the family photographs that I put in a special album for him (he doesn't want to now); I used to could set him down by the flower bed and he would pull weeds; I used to put the towels from the dryer in his lap and he would help me fold them.
He occasionally likes to look at the National Geographic magazines that I got for him (basically for the pictures - he liked looking at them), but he's losing that now.
Before that, he played computer games, built model ships, etc.
Before that, he vacuumed, loaded and unloaded the dishwasher (after he broke them both, I bought new ones and started those chores myself!)
Remember that flexibility is the new name of the game. Find something new...some they will like, some they won't. Don't rule it out until you have tried it. Keeping them happily occupied allows us rest.
Since we are close to the end of the road, I am filled with advice on what I did....however, I've noticed new ones don't get it yet, so I don't know if my advice is helping or not, or whether I should continue to offer it....
Oh, Mary, don't stop with your advice! I greedily read your posts and try to heed your excellent advice. DH isn't as far along as yours, and he still plays his computer games all afternoon. He's also into hand=held calculators now. He'll buy them at a yard sale and put new batteries in, then punch the buttons for hours! We have quite a supply now. LOL
Mary, your advice is cherished. How would we know what to do if it weren't for those who went before us? My DH is 5/6 so we are in transition and one day he will enjoy something and the next he is oblivious. Although he will sit all morning reading the newspaper he cannot follow a book. Not interested in looking a photo albums unless we have company. Thank God for brooms!
I would love to buy him toys. I buy him a zillion if that appealed, but I guess it depends--as always--on the person, and I suspect that works more with typical AD than PCA.
Dh got a "Newton's cradle" for his birthday (I told our son it would be a good idea) and he likes to fool with it, also other desktop toys. He likes to play with kids' toys, but he thinks it's childish so I have to say "I got this for granddaughter, do you think she'll like it" and let him play. He loves to play catch with any kind of ball or frisbee, especially one I just bought that lights up when bounced or jiggled. DIL bought him a big open-worked plastic ball at Target, which he liked too, but somehow we didn't get it home. He likes kids' puzzles, can't do them but will sometimes fiddle with them for a long time. I buy them at rummage sales because he is hard on them. Wooden ones are good. He will also "help" me with a 1000-piece puzzle, but is hard on them too, and he ends up with a mass of pieces of vaguely the same color stuck together any which way. No matter, anything that keeps him occupied for an hour. Back in stage 3-4 he used to sit for hours clipping pictures and articles out of magazines and pasting them onto blank sheets of paper. At first he would put them in looseleaf notebooks, later just on piles. We still have lots of piles sitting around, but although we went out to get some new paste not long ago he won't do it anymore.
We're not at the vibrating toothbrush stage yet, Mary, but I'm sure it's coming. There was another thread here somewhere where someone (Divvi?) mentioned a toolbox type toy.
Wow great advise. DH I noticed does not watch the TV like I thought he was. He's usually staring at the floor. Just sits in his recliner and stares downward. I'll bring him to the toy secton of Walmart tomorrow and see if anything perks his interest. He used to be very handy with his hands, always built something, did workworking etc, now it's all he can do to hold a fork to eat and most of the time he just uses his hands.
thrift stores are a great place to find out which toys interest them plus they can try them out. But, you do have to be careful with price - often they are overpriced. this time of year - yard sales if you like them.
My DH doesn't even enjoy his favorite sitcoms. I don't think he can follow them even though he has seen them over and over and over. When I suggest he look at something, he acts as though he cannot see it. Sometimes I feel like I am with a blind person. Even today as I was putting his seatbelt on in the car, I was talking to him and looking at his face and he was not actually seeing me. We walk every day and usually use the wheelchair so that if he feels weak or faint he can sit down. He feels really confident using it this way although I have to guide the chair. If we go to the mall, I hold his hand and I feel like I am dragging him along. He doesn't read anymore (doesn't even pretend to). Games were just too frustrating for him and he refused to try.
there are some smaller toy type tool boxes with plastic tools in kids toy dept. but any toolbox from lowes or homedepot hardware dept could have some 'fun tools' added to it for entertaining. small flashlites, wrenches that can be fitted, my DHloved measure tapes that you pull and let go, you can find stuff you think they'd like and put into it. they sit for hrs opening and closing and looking arranging again. oh, and dont forget to put some candy in it for a surprise! divvi
I know what you mean, brindle, about him not seeing you.. mine doesn't either and when I speak to him he seems to have no idea where the words are coming from. Hey, hello, dear, I'm over here... no response.
we are watching You're in the Army Now starring Phil Silvers and Jimmy Durante. My hb has been laughing so hard he says he has a headache. He laughs easier cause in the past there would not be near as much laughing.
The blindness thing is caused by agnosia--eyes can see but brain can't. When this first started happening, it was frustrating for me. But then I thought, I wouldn't be frustrated by a blind person who couldn't see, this is caused by the illness. That helped me deal with it--more or less thinking he's blind.
I just met an Alzheimer patient who kept telling me (many many times) that she was having trouble with her brain but mostly, really, her eyes. Not being able to see well was her excuse for anything she could not do. Her husband has a bum leg and is in a wheelchair; she pushes him everywhere. She wants to be outside all the time, because that is easier on her eyes! He was very patient with her and they seem to be muddling through together. They have a lot of home help and children who drive them everywhere. Fascinating couple.
This is an old thread -but still relevant. DH had a hobby (before AD) of working on clocks - all kinds. He still has a lot in his work room, but hasn't touched them now in a couple of years. I was working upstairs a few days ago, came down - and guess what??? He had taken 4 large, expensive clocks off the walls, and taken them apart. I finally figured out he was trying to put batteries in them - some don't run with batteries -. Batteries were all over the place, he had pried the backs off of two of them and really screwed that up! I really didn't get upset - after all, they are only clocks. And it kept him busy all afternoon for 3 days or so. I did tell him his workshop was upstairs and he could work on his clocks up there. He replied that he'd rather work downstairs. I confiscated the better ones, replaced them with broken one he had upstairs - so we'll see what happens now.
It is interesting that we all have the same problems. We are back to painting bird houses. He slaps the main color color on no detail, then i do the detail. I always say we will sell them, them he will do it. They are not good enough to sell, but it keeps in busy for a while.
I am married to one of the most difficult spouses with behavioral issues. I need to find something to keep him busy, expend his energy and keep his mind active. The 2 thing a ma jigs worked for a long time but the aide has placed them where we can't find them. Cards and puzzles no longer work, exercise is iffy-he may do it or refuse (bought an exercise bike based on PT suggestion). Walking is good but he runs away from the aides walking with him so most of them (except for his permanent aide) won't walk with him because they are afraid they'll lose him. If he walks in the neighborhood he stops every car or goes into the ones parked, takes any beverage and then drinks it. He does the same when we take him to a local park. He stops cars and people think because he is with a person of color that perhaps he's being robbed or confined against his will. At this point I am out of ideas, spent a lot of money on things to occupy him which don't work and still dealing with a sundowning guy. Yes, we have neds but with mixed results. I bought a 2 wheeled bike but he doesn't know how to stop it ,so it was returned, bought a dance thing for wii, but no longer interested and today bought a piano mat (like the one in the movie BIG) so we'll see how that works. I really need some tips on keeping him busy and occupied. The local daycare is all women heir 70's-80's (my guy is 62) and the fold laundry all day. Not a match. HELP!
LFL, your daycare sounds like ours, except I would be happy if they let DH fold laundry - and he probably would like it too! Better than 'discussing current events', or reading the Bible. Anyway, I mentioned the clocks (above) that he destroyed and I took the better one down and replaced with broken ones. So...he's back to taking them off the wall, and 'working on them'. At least he has devised his own entertainment for a couple of afternoons!
Each one is so different, and it's so very hard to find something for them to do when they are home. I've about run out of ideas.
Is your local day care for Alzheimer's? If not, I would suggest calling the Alzheimer's Association in your area and ask about Alzheimer specific DC. If the one you describe is for Alzheimer's, it is a disgrace. It may be worth it to go a bit of a distance if there is one better farther away.
Is your husband a Veteran? The VA sometimes has Alzheimer Day Care.
I never realized how lucky I am to have such a good DC for Sid until I started reading about some of the places our members are stuck with.
After reading these I find some of the same issues with my husband - his vision was the first sign of his illness. I can't find ANYTHING to keep him entertained. He's totally bored at the nursing home and in stage 5-6. Any ideas? He paces the hall waiting for me to get there to visit him. Occasionally they take him outside & he enjoys that. He has Lewy Body dementia - Alzheimer's with hallucinations - and has a very odd gait. He can't see the TV, cards, books, etc. He won't touch toys. What can I do?
sometimes when all else fails they can still enjoy a small radio/cd/or ipod player with earphones. or just a boom box that they can mess with with music you know they like. music seems to still reach them. i still put my ipod into DH ears at times during the day so he can listen to his fav music, and hes in late stages. and he seems to still enjoy it.
Joan, it is not an alzheimers dayare and in fact most people there do not have a form of dementia. Unfortunately the local alz asso is not very much help-I have found them not to be helpful at all in finding resources.
There is a dementia dc about 45 mins away but they do not provide transportation and it is off a major highway which gets gridlocked in the am/pm for rush hour traffic, so I am not anxious to make the drive. Unfortunately we live in a part of NJ where there are few resources.
Really quiet on the board lately! Hope everyone is doing okay. It's been a long morning here, can't find enough to keep him busy. He polished all my stainless steel small appliances (somewhat); helped me make oatmeal chocolate chip cookies; and it's only 11:00 - now he's ready to eat lunch! Guess it'll be an even longer afternoon. I've run out of things to do!
I just asked dh for a fly swatter and got a toilet plunger instead. Can you imagine what my wall would look like if I used it? It boggles my mind when I think of what he has lost.
I miss good conversation. This is the first national election that has gotten no response of any kind from dh. Dh is still able to sign his name, legible but a little shaky. Good enough for an absentee ballot.
Just a quick report on the piano mat. So far dh likes it and has had fun with it, so for the time being it seems to give him a change in his in home routine. You use it with your feet and it has preprogrammed songs or you can just use the mat to play a song (or no song). It can be changed to be 5-6 different instruments, not just a piano. It was $40.00 but they make cheaper ones.