My husband has entered a phase where he thanks me, as well as our aide, for everything we do for him. It's not just a rote "thank you" as you would expect from someone with good manners, it seems as if he somehow is expressing gratitude for what we do for him. A few nights ago he was trying to express it...he has some difficulties now verbalizing his thoughts, but they are still in there. Out of the blue, he said something like "Thanks for all you do for me, I really appreciate it." It makes me wonder if he DOES grasp how limited his capabilities are now. In the early stage, when I was overwhelmed with all the responsibility, I would have loved some acknowledgement from him. Well, it was delayed by about 5 years, but it finally got here! Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this.
Mine says thank you, but it's just like he did in the past if I brought him a bowl of ice cream cooked a meal. I don't know whether he realizes I do everything now or if he's too proud to acknowledge it.
Mine too Zibby. He knows I take care of everything but that could be because I always took care of everything! Like most LO's he doesn't realize how bad he is...he thinks it's mainly his memory but he can spend the longest time in the kitchen just looking at the counters or the calendar.
Despite her severe aphasia, Mary could say, "Thank you", clear as a bell. My heart also leaped when she would say, "This is good", about something I had prepared.
DH still gets teary - eyed and says ' you are good' when i change him or bring him food. nobody will ever convince me even as far as late stage 7 they have clear moments and know much more than we realize. divvi
Jean often says that I'm the best thing that ever happened to him. Makes me feel very good and I always repeat the same thing back to him. We'll be married 26 years the 16th of this month. We have a happy marriage and gone a lot of places. Never thought it would end like this.
Same here, Carolyn. he is always telling me, the doctors, anyone who will listen, that I'm the best thing that ever happened to him. We have been married 36 years, and a happy one. He always is thanking me for things I do. Since our ages are so far apart, I always thought I might end up taking care of him - just didn't figure on ALZ!
Sometimes, when I do something for my wife she will say "you're wonderful". When I picked her up at the hospital yesterday after 4 days respite, I wasn't sure she recognized me, but as I was dressing her she said "you're wonderful".
My husband has not been able to speak for years. He often pats me or one of his aides on the arm very softly with a gentle look in his eyes when we are doing or have done something for him. We interpret this to mean "Thank you" or "I love you". Maybe it means both.
Yes, my DH has been so appreciative of everything I do for him and always says "thank you." He told his doctor today that he had a very loving, caring wife. Awwwww.
The two things that used to just break my heart were when my husband would say "I'm sorry" and "I let my family down".....gut wrenching....He also would thank me when he was able to communicate.....
Mine says "Thank you" and "thank you for all you do for me" sometimes. Rarely, he gets in a very loving mood and seems to appreciate having me, but those times are getting few and far-between. Right now he's mad at me because he was going to have the guy who cuts our lawn pull out a good tree instead of one a small tree that was invading the garden. He won't talk to me now, but later on he'll come down and ask me what I'm doing!
I try very hard not to let these times bother me because I know he'll forget about it later on, but sometimes it's very difficult to try to put the unkind words out of my mind. All in all, though, reading these posts makes me realize I don't have it as bad as most of you have right now. I try not to worry about what it will be like in the future because I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes I forget and do worry...depends on my mood that day.
Nope, nary a word of thanks. Although he is pleasant most of the time, he has absolutely no idea that I'm doing anything out of the ordinary when I shave him, increasingly wash him and help him dress, or (tonight for the first time) cut his fingernails for him.
As above, G thanks me all the time for giving him things, arranging things...then has a blowout that leaves me ill with anger..but will turn around and thank me for piddling stuff a minute later. Go figure!
My DW is appreciative (I think), but talking about it is not a part of her family tradition. Mostly, when I do what has to be done, something that she used to do, (such as meal prep) she will accuse me of taking her job away from her. She can get a little rough in her comments. I laugh and make a joke out of it. That is my secret weapon -- humor/laughter.