Someone just gave me the thought of the bucket list, and I have been forming mine for a while now - some of them were those I shared with my husband, who will no longer be able to go with me...so I'm going with some of my dear friends from here - AFTER.
1. Take the trans-continental train across Canada from Vancouver to Toronto. 2. Go on the river cruise beginning with three days in Moscow and ending with three days in St. Petersburg. 3. A vacation in Italy (gotta go see George). 4. A vacation in Greece. 5. A trip to New Zealand and Australia 6. Teach Bridge on a Med. cruise so I won't have to pay for it. <grin> 7. Go visit Hershey, PA and stay at the resort there (it looks like an adult Disneyland from the website!). 8. Go on an autumn tour of New England, stopping to see Marsh and Briegull. 9. A tour of Idaho, Washington and Oregon. 10. Plan a reunion in central U.S. a year in advance at a large resort at a special rate, so that all of the caregivers here can have a big reunion for a week.
These are my beginning travel desires....I have other things I want to accomplish too, but I thought I would start this discussion with travel.
By the way, when your spouse is in the last stage, you spend a lot of time trying to keep your mind OFF of your worries.....like bucket lists....
Add me to that list. No money and no energy. I am just going back to the beach in Gulf Shores if the oil spill doesn't come ashore and ruin everything.
I'm also on the "No Money to Enjoy Your Bucket List" list. You're right Vickie, it is so sad. We lived our entire lives planning for our retirement, and now that Alz has reared it's ugly head....nothing left. :(
There are still lots of local things to do on a budget. I live near a small town but am starting to re-discover things there I haven't seen or been to for years if ever. For instance I am now a volunteer at the Art Center. Only been there twice in my entire life before now. I want to go to some live shows at the Actor's Guild, Only been to 2 movies in the past 10 years, bus trips are value priced. I recently went on 2 one-day trips with a friend. A few local museum's I haven't been for years. Zoo about 100 miles from here. The list is endless when you start thinking about it.
My list includes many of the things Mary mentioned also, as well as the local things.
I'm going to get working on that "Bucket List." I don't know how much money or strength to do what I want to do after I pay all my husband's expenses to come in the future, but at least I can dream, can't I?
I could not afford travel much either, especially outside the states, but Hershey PA would be ok, I live in PA and I too would love to see New England in the fall. I might make a Caregiver's cruise. A cruise has always been on my list.
I am not really a caregiver anymore....the NH takes care of that ordeal. BUT, nothing is resolved as yet, with everything hanging in the air...and me trying hard to face each day, like everyone else here, with a sort of hopeful attitude. I think of the bucket list all the time. I wanna be one of those happy, succcessful people you see all the time on tv or on the street or at church. Well, here goes MY modest list:
1.....Have an income doing something I am good at....get some sort of education 2.....Go on a vacation with someone I care about 3.....Be able to say, "I love you" to someone again and really mean it (have...sex??) 4.....but, first, I just want to trust someone again 5.....have a refined lil' mini-horse and a meadowbrooke carriage 6.....stay in my home and take care of it 7.....entertain and have friends over (and celebrate holidays again) like I used to enjoy 8.....loose 15 lbs? Get hard-bodied again....RIDE! Maybe be able to compete again...and afford to. 9.....not cry anymore over John's children....be truly indifferent and a brick wall.
Well I've spent the last 2 years doing DW bucket list. Lately she does not want to Travel anymore she wants to sit at home and watch movies all day.
Here is my list when this is over
1. Get married again. 2. SEX!!! 3. Get my old job back, They have called recently asking if I want to come back. 4. Not be a work a holic again and traveling all the time 5. Travel Europe 6. Holy Land 7. loose weight 8. Rebuild my savings 9. Build a new home 10. Get some real health insurance for me, which getting the old job back would accomplish
LOL!!! When my "donkies" are bad, I whisper in thier ear, "Does ALPO mean anything to you?". Horse IS a delicacy in some countries!! I think the tenderloin portion.
I love the bucket list. Ralph and I had such a long one. Now I will try to do some of the things we planned. I love the reunion plans. Think we all need that. It is still too soon to know what I want to do. The only plans I have is a trip to Spain in October with my friend.
I would love to find someone to travel with that doesn't complain and just rolls with the punches. This is the way we traveled. We didn't have problems, we just had adventures. Hard to find someone like that.
hmmmm... I am not sure I could do any of the things we had planned and dreamed of doing together. Right now, I think it would be too painful to do them alone... but that may change... maybe it could be a way to carry him with me? hmmmmmm I will have to do more thinking....
When you all visit New England, don't forget to stop by New Hamshire! :)
I have only one plan "after" .. to GET THE HELL OUT OF DODGE!! I know I will need a place where I can lick my wounds in private. I am already so angry inside, at friends and family who abandoned us when we needed them the most. I told his daughter tonight that I was not having a church service for people to come "pay their last respects". They damn well should have showed him some respect while he was still living!!! And when he no longer knew them, the support would have meant a great deal to me. I think I got my message across loud and clear.
I have only one plan.... My younger sister is moving to Australia in August. I have an open invitation to come, for as long as I want. We already talked and decided "after" I am going there to visit. She and I are very close... she knows when I need to talk, and she knows when I need to be alone. I never need to tell her, she just instinctivly knows. She will be a soothing balm to my tired soul and broken heart.
Nikki - what a special relationship you have with your sister: such a blessing.
Not sure what I would like to do that is achievable, depends on my age when that happens. 1. Loose weight and get into shape so I can ride my bike and hike. 2. Trade the MH in for a smaller one, maybe about a 25ft class A. 3. I always wanted to ride a bicycle across the US but maybe I will by a scooter instead and ride it across country. 4. Find some friends - if they exist. He has never liked me talking to the opposite sex so I have not kept in touch with my best friend in high school. I have not had 'girl friends' other than when I worked with women and then there was no social contact outside work. 5. See if I can find out if happiness really exist. 6. See Alaska.
My best friend was surprised recently when I told her that we talked about things like this on the boards. She asked my about my own plans and I really had no answer. So much depends on how things will be AFTER (will I still be young and healthy enough to do anything I want to? ).
One thing I'm quite sure I want to do is an opera tour, perhaps combined with a river cruise. And I will visit my brother and his family in Colorado, for sure. We just spent two days with another brother in Philadelphia and I enjoyed it so much, even with dh in tow.
Nikki, you are so lucky to have such a great sister. I have three great SILs, no complaint there. But I have always thought that a real sister would be different. (No daughters either )
Right now I am discarding all the mail about evening concerts and theater performances without even looking through them -- dh goes to bed early, needs his rest, and I don't dare leave him alone. I suppose I could ask his brother or a friend to babysit, but dh would be really confused to wake up (as he sometimes does) in the evening to find someone else here. It's not worth it to me. We have some afternoon concerts planned for next year and continue to go to movies in the afternoon.
I've been lurking mostly..feeling stuck on high center in a way... having fewer and fewer thoughts of anything but what has to be done in the moment. The bucket list..interestingly right now, my kids are reminding me of my own interests and ideas for travel etc. Am glad to see that there is zest among us though.. Glad to see that many of you ARE going to get 'out there' and go for it. Maybe if I can think of some things, it will help me clarify where and what and how to proceed. The only thing I believe I KNOW is that if/when DH is not able to be here at the farm, I don't want to live here. I love the country..but don't want to maintain the farm. I would like to live close enough to groceries, the art center, movies, shopping and medical etc..so that it didn't take a half a day of driving to get there and back. I would like to take a short 'test' cruise to see if I could manage a real cruise without getting sick as a dog. A friend keeps sending me cruise notices..but until someone can keep DH or until he can be kept in a safe place...well the bucket list is for a later time..something nice to think about for sureeeee...good music..concerts. Maybe just being able to see and be with friends again..or being able to make new friends? I'd love to take a class or even teach a class. If I'm not a blithering idiot by then. Keep the ZEST folks!!
Mary don't forget to stop in to see me in Maine too!
I've started on mine" 1. Lose weight, down 14 lbs so far :o) 2. Find some local Friends, mine are all 2 1/2 hrs away I'm going on a 2 hr canoe trip in a couple weeks with an OVER 50 group. I hope to do more with this group. 3. See Italy 4. See Yellowstone, Grand Tetons and others 5. Learn Yoga 6. Join the Peace Corp. if my back allows 7. Drive cross country (could tie that in with my Nat'l Parks) 8. Feel at peace with my life, there has been too much drama 9. Volunteer at something that makes me feel good. 10. Spend more time on my front porch swing, with some good wine, with someone who loves me, watching the stars
Something to add to my bucket list: see some good tennis at Wimbledon or Roland Garros. I could be in Paris in two and a half hours on the new high speed train. Wimbledon would take a little longer, but what else am I going to have to do?
I love the weeks like this when one of the grand slams is on TV. DH can no longer keep track of the score, or even know who's winning, but he can watch it for hours, especially if it's Federer or some nice looking girls. I remember the first time he spoke to a neuropsychologist and she asked him what current events he was interested in. The only thing he could think of was that Federer had won a match the day before.
Charlotte--the color choice for your car is really fascinating--is it your favorite color? Don't think I've seen a lavender car. (Our bedroom is a medium lavemder--I love it.)
I once went to a therapist because everyone said I should (lasted one visit). She asked what my goals were. When I told her I wanted a kiwi green Honda element she looked at me like I was nuts (maybe that's why just one visit). Months later when I had my husband there I motioned her to the window. Outside was parked my Honda Element. The only reason it wasn't kiwi was because I got a better deal on a silver and blue one.
The car I'm considering comes in a color called Currant--it's a dark metallic brown, with a hint of purple. They team it with a very light interior though (beige leather) and that seems impractical to me, but it looks great!
I have always loved lilacs and lavender/purple. I remember when my mom painted the bathroom lavender my dad had a fit which we could never figure out why - he was totally color blind. I have occasionally seen a purple car which I like - just too dark. we use to have a Aspire that had gray interior but the doors had a covering of gray with thin lavender strips. I thought lavender on the outside would go really good but dh did not. If I can't have lavender, then I get white. Purple is the color of royalty, the color adopted by Alzheimer's, and as a child when I would be off in my secret place crying, my escape came when I would see myself dancing with Jesus in a lavender chiffon gown. I also like bright yellow - once had a bright yellow toyota truck and painted a house sunshine yellow with dark brown trim.
There you go, Charlotte. Go for the yellow and lavender!
The new Toyota I am getting in September is a light blue. I have had second thoughts about it but have refrained from calling the dealer. My BIL who was with me when I bought it was pushing for more conventional colors. (Gray) But you have inspired me with your lavender. Guess I'll go for it.
My PT Cruiser is a really weird metallic brownish red. Or maybe it is a reddish brown. Depends on how the light is hitting it. I've never seen another one like it. PT Cruisers frequently were made up in limited editions, and this one is one of those.
Jeanette - baby blue is also a very nice, peaceful color. One thing to keep in mind: statistically I am told light colors get in fewer accidents than dark colors. Red is suppose to have the most rear-enders cause the lights and color blend. I hate the silver cars - I almost turned in front of one coming down a hill because it was silver with silver trim around the dark windows. The day was overcast/gray and the car blended in with the road. I also detest the dark windows they let people have now. When I learned to drive I was taught to drive defensively. Part of that included watching the other driver to get clues to their actions. Now you can't even see the drivers in may cars. I really feel sorry for the police that have to approach these cars cause they can't see inside. In most states those dark windows are illegal but the police do not enforce it.
I chose the tan colors....they don't look dirty even when they are.... <grin>
I got my grandson a car yesterday - a reward for sacrificing two years to help take care of his grandfather (he's off to college in Texas in July). It's a 2001 Cougar (a college guy's car) and it's black. I told him if he got a red one, the police would be after him. <grin>
Mary - you have sunshine in Florida - something is a rarity in the Pacific NW. I am beginning to wonder if summer, even spring, will ever come. It suppose to be dry and 65, getting to 70 tomorrow. It is 10:14am, cloudy and 51 degrees. I know it is early but it is so depressing.
More additions to the bucket list......I wish I could be able to take my daughter, Ari, and her half sister, April, on a camping trip. Go gem mining with them in NC and here in Amelia County, VA. Go to a bluegrass weekend with them (again, with a camper).
I wanna go back to Italy....with someone, even if its my daughter.
I want to compete with horses again. Teach riding to kids, get them involved in a lifelong passion....get them OUTSIDE and active.
This is inspiring. I've remembered something else I want to do. Inventory all the Art Nouveau stuff that we (well, mostly DH) collected way back when and get it auctioned off. I might take it to Christie's in Amsterdam or even London. It would really be fun. I'd start with just a few things and learn how to do it.
We used to love to haunt the auction halls, when we had to take time off busy work schedules to do it. I've wanted for years to start selling some of the items, but DH has never wanted to part with anything. Now he has no idea what Art Nouveau is or where all that stuff came from. In today's market it's probably not worth what we paid for it but the point would be the FUN of it.
Today, Jeanette, I asked L. if he wanted to watch a DVD of Lennie Bernstein conducting (a set I'd bought over a year ago and that he'd enjoyed many times). He said what is THAT? Oh, dear. OTOH, he still loves his sherry and doesn't notice it's terribly diluted.
Diluting Sherry... now THERE'S an idea!!! One of my heroes is Thomas Jefferson. Does anyone else know (besides me) that he diluted his wine???? I hear that he diluted it to 1/4 ...because he was frugal and French wine which he imported was considered SO STRONG for our palates!!
Art Nouveau decor....my brother collected it. He died in the 80's of AIDS and all of his collection came to me. LOTS of copper decorative ware, some silver. I have absolutely NO taste for it and need to just find someone who will appreciate it.....auction sounds good. How about e-bay? Anyone with experience with that???
Jen, start researching on ebay and see what they are selling for. Then you can set up an account where all purchases go onto a credit card and you use that. You need to do some research to see about what shipping would be. Most people use priority mail boxes cause once you know the box needed, you have the shipping charges. That is the basics. Ebay is a good place to find out prices and demand. Follow some auctions on a pieces you have to see what happens. You are right - this might not be the best time to sell. Another option is to price and sell as a whole collection either on ebay, to a private collector or someone that buys and resells.