Well, SIL is off again! She called Sunday afternoon and I answered the phone. She said Jean and of course I said Yes. The next thing she is yelling "I want my money back." I just let DH speak to her because he can usually calm her down. She called him an SOB and a rotten B-----d and hung up. Naturally he was upset and called her on Monday and either she lied or didn't remember but she said she hadn't called. I know, I know it the Alz. but I have never known her to tell the truth about anything.
Yesterday evening she called again and wanted to know if we had gotten her money. I told her we hadn't gotten anything and she said she had spoken to her lawyer and he was going to sue the woman who sent us her money. Then she wanted to talk to DH and that was a waste because he is getting confused and doesn't know what to say. Finally I told him to tell her her money is in the bank up there in Ohio. I don't know which one of them hung up but that was it.
I have to go out this morning but when I get home I will call the ALF and see if she is ranting there. Maybe they can get the doctor to either change her med or try a different one. I have enough with DH I don't need her calling here and getting him upset and agitated. If that doesn't work I will have her phone number blocked. DH can call her whenever he wants and hopefully she will be calm.
Susab L*, I am not sure about caller ID because if I am not here DH would probably answer anyway and get everything screwed up!
I called the ALF and spoke to a young woman I have dealt with in the past. She is going to have the Social Services woman call me when she gets back in the building. I have visions of "Elvis has left the building." LOL
Thanks cs, but no-one in their right mind would want to get involved with SIL. The next thing you know she would blame you for taking her money...we are the charmed third! Come to think of it are you sure you are in your right mind? You know how caregiving affects caregivers.lol.
Must have been one of those caregiver moments when you want to hurt someone. Why not get paid for it? Seriously...does your sil have az or dementia? If so, try to be kind but don't let her upset you or hubby. If not, let loose on her and let her know any upsetting calls will be ended immediatley.We have enough going on in our lives without the extra burden of outside aggrevation. Good luck. cs
cs, SIL has Alz. she has had it for a few years. She is in the ALF because she caused so many problems in the Senior apartments that they made her leave. She now thinks she is staying where she is for free! I know there are other posts about her but I don't remember what they would be under and btw if you are kind to her she will walk all over you. I can take her ranting etc. but DH gets upset and I need him to stay as calm as possible. He has finaly calmed down (I hope) from his rants going back to last year.
The woman from Social Services didn't call back yesterday so I will call again today.
I spoke to the assistant of the SS woman. Apparently SIL has been calling someone else and accusing them of taking her money. They have taken away her phone book and if she calls here again to let them know and they will go check and see if she has our number somewhere else. I hope that will take care of it and DH can call whenever he wants and I hope she won't start ranting.
SIL called again last night saying she had sent us $100,000.00!!!!!! I told her she hadn't so she is asking me where it is. I told her it is in her bank so then she wants to speak with DH...like he is going to agree with her. He told her we don't have her money and she needs to go to her bank. Which is the wrong thing to say because she has no way of getting to the bank so then she wants us to go up there. DH told her he is having problems with AD and doesn't drive anymore so we won't be going up there. What she wants is us to go up there and take her to the bank. If she hadn't driven people away by accusing them of taking her money she would have someone to take her to the bank.
Monday I will call the woman in Social Services and they can check her room and see where she has our phone number. I don't know how she got it because she can never find anything anyway. I had a call a few days ago, Sil couldn't find her check book and wanted $100.00 from her personal account because her niece was coming from Cleveland. If this is who I think it is it's a great-great niece and like her mother and grandmother the only time they visit is when they want money and it's always been that way. We aren't close to any of them and I don't even know their last names or I would be on the phone and telling them to back off and take care of their own problems.
I just hope she doesn't call again over the weekend.
Jean 21, your SIL needs to be stopped; she's causing too many people too many unnecessary problems. I"d protect yourself and your husband by blocking her phone number pronto. It's not going to hurt her, but left unchecked, your husband will be left open to further agitation, and you'll have the fallout. You don't need that stress.
I am going to call the ALF on Monday and have them check her apartment to see where she has our phone number. If she calls after that I will have her calls blocked. As I understand it....if she calls she will be told her number is blocked. That should start some fire works if she understands.
Jean how horrible for you and your DH. You can't help but feel sorry for your SIL, but you can't have this effecting and upsetting your husband either! She must have your number hidden in her room somewhere. You know how they are about hiding their things ;) Good thing about the phone blocking, even if it starts fireworks, you wont have to hear it ;) Good luck!
Here it is a very polite message, something like, "I'm sorry, the person you wish to speak to is not available." If she has A-D, she may not realize her call is being blocked deliberately. As for where your phone number is in her room, maybe she got someone to enter your phone number on her phone for automatic dialing. I see some phones for A-D patients have photos of the person you wish to dial, so all that needs done is pushing the button beside the photo.
Mary75, I don't know what kind of phone SIL has. One time when were were up there we took her to the Mall to get a phone for hearing impaired. Since she has been in the ALF she has managed to break it and got another phone. I have no idea if it has auto dialing.
I called the ALF again this morning and told them she had called here on Friday so I guess they will check again to see where she has our phone number. I also told them if she calls here one more time I will have her phone blocked. I can't tell DH I am doing that... I will tell him they must have found our phone number and removed it.
Well, call blocking isn't going to work. I just called the phone company and they say they can only block local numbers not out of state!!!!! So I guess I will just hold my breath when the phone rings and hope it isn't SIL. If I have to go somewhere without DH I will try to remember to turn off the ringers on the phones.
Bummer about the out-of-state restriction. Or change your phone number to an unlisted one? It's a nuisance I know. I've done it once and found that the time taken to do it was worth it to avoid the aggravation. I may be misquoting Phranque, but I understand him to say that anyone who makes his life more difficult gets cut off at the pass. I find myself doing this more and more (as I get older and older!).
We have a Panasonic cordless phone and I can use the phone to block numbers and do not have to go thru the phone company. When a blocked number calls, the screen says 'blocked number' and the person on the other end gets a busy signal.
We've had this phone number for three years, but the previous people have a dozen or so collection agencies calling them. The constant ringing was annoying, intrusive and I got tired of telling them they had the wrong number. Now all 'toll free' numbers and 'out of area' calls are automatically blocked.