I am not sure if you ever heard Bill Engvall’s comedy skit or song, Here's Your Sign (Get The Picture). I listened to this years ago, and now after reading some of the recent posts, it came back to me. I watched some of them on you tube and was laughing so hard! I just had to share it here ………………
I just hate stupid people. They should have to wear signs that just say I'm stupid. That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops, never mind" "I didn't see your sign."
It's like before my wife and I moved from Texas to California our house was full of boxes and there was a u-Haul truck in our driveway. My friend comes over and says, "Hey, You moving?"
"Nope."
"We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week. Just to see how many boxes it takes."
"Here's your sign."
Why can't they get the picture? Why don't they understand? We're not dealing with the planet of apes, we're talking about the modern man. So you people with them itsy bitsy teensie weensie tiny minds... Here's your sign. Here's your sign.
A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big 'ol stringer of bass this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, yall catch all them fish?"
Nope.
"Talked 'em into giving up."
"Here's your sign."
I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel, there was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. There's only one way to test that. "Alright Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you."
"Well allright....hold my sign, I don't wanna loose it"
Last time I was home I was driving around I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of these side-of-the-road gas stations, the attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, I swear to GOD he went, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist.
I said "Nope".
"No I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me."
"Here's your sign."
We were trying to sell our car about a year ago, a guy come over to the house, drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then goes, "Damn thats hot!"
See...
If he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.
Why can't they get the picture? Why don't they understand? We're not dealing with the planet of apes, we're talking about the modern man. So you people with them itsy bitsy teensie weensie tiny minds... Here's your sign. Here's your sign!
……………………………….....
There is a lot more, and to really get a good laugh you should watch him on you tube!…but you get the picture! lol. I thought this was perfect, and I think we should start handing out signs!! Let’s post some things we have had to deal with or are dealing with now, ….I’ll start…
“He would start getting better if you take him out and let him get sunshine” …… Really? I hadn’t read THIS was the cure for Alzheimer’s! Here’s your sign!
“Oh, I think he’s doing good!” …. Oh yes of course he is. He is in end stage… but we expect him to make a full recovery! Here’s your sign!!
“you know, if you would only do puzzles with him, it would slow down his progression” Sure, I will get right on that! The poor man isn’t able read or write…. but yes, let me run out and get a crossword puzzle for him! And.. Here’s your sign!
“It is too difficult for me to see him this way” Oh yes, it is only the love of my life wasting away inch by inch.. It isn’t hard for me to see him like this at all!! Oh! And by the way, Here’s your sign!!
Nikki, those are wonderful. Jeff Foxworthy, of You MIght Be a Redneck fame, does that bit with the signs. It's hysterical.
"He'd probably be better if you weren't giving him all that medication that makes him sleepy." Yes, you're right, fear and agitation, not to mention violence, are much more stimulating. Here's your sign!
I LOVE watching the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, all these guys are part of it. You can't help but laugh at the simplicity of the humor, it is all soooo true :o)
Bob, you are right on, all those previously mentioned involved in the ever-growing pandemic of denial need to wear signs with a Huge D on the front :o)
LOL, I knew I wasn't the only one out there feeling this way ;) Yes blue collar comedy is great. Foxworthy does the here's your sign too, but it was Engvall who started it and wrote most of them.
It didn't take me long to find another one.................
I got a call from the nursing home, twice last night that Lynn had fallen. acccccck! Nothing broken thank God! But he is pretty bruised up. I didn't sleep well and this morning I said to my sister, damn this is so depressing!
and she said............... what are you depressed about?