My DH will do something once a week or so that is mildly paranoid. For instance, last week at church I parked next to a large van. I commented, “Wow! That is one long van!” With that, my husband decided that when the van left it was going to hit our car. He made a production out of walking around the van, then standing in front of the van, getting out his I-Phone and recording the license plate, so that “when it hits us he would have the plate number.”
Friday we had lunch at a burger joint. As we left, he went to refill his coke, and I watched from the door as he lingered, glaring at a table full of high school children. It was so odd, I was getting concerned he might do or say something inappropriate. When he finally came and walked out with me, I asked what he was staring at. He proceeded to tell me that “there were children there that should have been in school!” I pointed out it was lunch time – they were just having lunch. He stated there were no schools around there. I reminded him the high school was only 5 minutes away. He didn’t care, those kids should have been in school.
I've read the other discussions about paranoia. Paranoia seems like a strong word for this, but did your loved ones get overly concerned about nonsense like this before their diagnosis?
Mary, My DH has been going through this since diagnosis. He has been going on since last year that either "they" were going to get us out of our condo and go after our money or we were going to have to move our car from where we park. He was off again this morning but I am not sure what "they" were going to do this time because he can't explain himself but it seemed to be something to do with the condo again. It ended up that he wanted me to leave. I told him I could do that but then who would take care of him. He just said F---it. When I came home from church he apologised and said he didn't mean it. I guess he figured out that unless I take care of him he is up the proverbial creek without a paddle.
I keep all this "stuff in my computer and when we see the neuro print it out for him to read. Maybe this time he will change one of the meds so we don't have to go through this whenever DH gets it in his head.
I tend to use the word "obsession" with my DH. He becomes obsessed about something and won't drop it for awhile. For instance, if I buy something new for the porch or anywhere outside, he tells me not to put it out there because someone will steal it overnight. He goes on about this throughout the day(s), and I usually start out by bringing it inside at night for a few days - then he forgets about it. He's this way about a lot of things, but eventually seems to forget about it....then we go to the next thing!
This is the stuff I have a problem with, not the memory issues. I don't know how to stop him when he's going to do something about the problem, like an inappropriate phone call or asking some stranger questions no one could answer. These obsessions don't last as long as they used to, but airports are a nightmare of strange beliefs.
My husband went thru the paranoia bit early in to the disease.When he couldn't find something he would swear our daughter borrowed it and didn't return it.Or if something didn't work, she borrowed it and broke it.It was always our daughter not our son who would be the one more apt to borrow something.He alsso now gets his dreams mixed up with reality'A couple days ago he woke me early to tell me the hospital had called and said I had to come back in the hospital.I don't know what that was all about but he was real upset when I wouldn't go to the hospital.What's next?
Mine went through it early. Light is dawning on me about why it's always MEMORY that's stressed. That's because the VICTIM is only aware of the loss of memory (not for the same things WE wish they'd remember of course) so that's the first symptom reported to doctors, often by the victim themselves. They forget immediately the paranoia, obsessions etc which bother us so much. I think, Jean, you're giving your spouse too much credit when you think he figured something out. He just forgot he'd said anything!
Briegull, My DH remembered what he had said. He was apologizing for saying he wanted me to leave and that he didn't mean it. He also knows there is no one else to take care of him. In some ways he is quite functional.
Well today DH was overly concerned about a small child who was opening the door for customers coming into the restaraunt, while the boy's mother gathered her things on the way out, just a few feet away. He was concerned that the "little kid is going out the door and noone is watching." When I pointed out the mom only a few feet away & that she had her eye on him, he was still very upset by the child. It's so weird. A year ago, he never would have noticed the child existed, let alone cared that he might get hurt at the door. He just seems so concerned with what everyone else is doing around him, and always finding something there to get anxious about. How can he be so focused on things that should not concern him at all, and totally unfocused when it comes to making the correct turns when driving, or remembering what someone said 2 minutes ago?
I have to admit, reading some of these comments made me laugh out loud -- knowingly. My spouse has an obsession about parking issues. We live in an apartment complex. If someone parks in his space (for example, a visitor to the complex who's not aware of parking locations), my spouse is convinced the person is doing it to harass him.
Or, for example... We have a small pickup truck. One day, in a grocery store parking lot, a large pickup was parked next to us when we returned to our truck. My spouse was certain that the driver of the large truck had parked next to us as way of boasting, "My truck is bigger than yours!" He wanted to wait until the other driver emerged from the store to confront him about it.
Charlotte, you took the words right out of my mouth! An aside note: We're due for a new truck, so using your logic, I've convinced him how smart we'd be to get another small one. ;-)
Talk about paranoid, my hubby is it!! Every night before we go to bed he locks the storm doors,locks the prime door,he then jams something or another under the door knob.WOW!!
Maybe he's afraid someone will come park a large van next to him while he is sleeping :)
I'm sorry - I couldn't resist! I have decided that I simply have to keep laughing, or I'm going to have an ulcer.
Last night was funny. I took my mom to have hearing aids adjusted, and my son called to say he'd invited his girl friend for dinner. I sent DH to grocery store, so I could start cooking as soon I got home at 7:30. When I opened the refrigerator to look for salad, I found small separate containers, each with their own fixing - ok, but where is the lettuce? I found a large plastic container (from grocery salad bar) with the slightest layer of shredded lettuce on the bottom (maybe from taco fixings?). My son said - no that can't be it. You're right, I say. So we decided just to call DH to prepare the salad - maybe he had a head of lettuce hiding somewhere.... Well, turns out that thin layer of shredded lettuce was it. So the girl friend was the only one who got a salad, albeit on a small bed of shredded lettuce. Oh well - add lettuce shopping to DH's list of no-go activities...god bless him!
Ann - if he decides to wander at night, he would have a time getting out. Maybe you should ask him if he would like to tie some pans to the door nob so if someone tries you can hear. Then you will be use to if ever need be. There is some logic in there somewhere!
Mary - I think I would have gone out for burgers. How did the girlfriend handle it? Had she been around your hb before?
The girl friend is 21 years old. I'm sure in her eyes we are both silly old people... But she is such a sweet heart, she would never react ror say anything.
Lettuce you say? years ago when my grandma was suffering from what we now believe was Alzheimers she asked to help in the kitchen one Thanksgiving as she had always done the cooking so to keep her busy one of her daugthers told her to make the salad thinking she couldn't do much damage with this small task,everyone sat down,grace was said an my uncle helped himself to a big portion of salad,he no more than got it in his mouth than he rushed for the bathroom spitting it out as fast as he could,seems grannie had put Vitalis hair goop on the salad thinking it was salad dressing,I don't believe she was allowed to help in the kitchen after that episode
Oh yes.My mother did. My folks had moved to TX and since I was not familiar with the new area nor the neighbors, nor did we yet know my mom had AD, I was taken in when she would say there were kids trying to get into the house or would be in the yard..they had a pool and at one point they did tell the neighbors they could let the kids use the pool but the parents had to be there. But they did not try to get into the house. Then things would go missing and those people next door were stealing..this kept up and when I finally got down there I discovered the kids did get into the yard sans parents and had to put a stop to that, they did not get into the house and did not steal. They were, however, inconsiderate parking in our driveway blocking us from getting in or out..so she had some part of the picture right but mostly wrong. This seemed to go on for a couple of years.
ol don - what a precious memory of your grandma. It is one of those funny family stories to pass on. Not to make fun of her, but how she was willing to help and her creativity. I think if all of us cooks look back, we can remember times we put the grabbed the wrong thing.