Sounds as if has been kind of a bad few days for many. Charlotte and Kadee, my heart goes out to both of you. I have been where you have been and neither was fun. Last trip we took was when Charlie's sister died and it was horrible and it seemed that when Charlie went into the hospital for behavior problems, he always came out worse than when he went in. On a more positive note, yesterday was a wonderful day. Got a brand new granddaughter. Weighed almost 9 pounds and is beautiful and healthy. She made an even dozen grandchildren.
We'll be going away next month for a week; I will drive (about 7 hours with stopping for breakfast). Looking forward to it. Hope husband does well, he did last year. He seems to be looking forward to it, which is good. The whole family goes and it's a familiar place, so I think he'll be okay.
It's a beautiful day today. Daughter came over and I went to get my hair done. I feel 10 years younger when I get my hair done, and it was a long time between visits this time. I made a promise to myself that I won't let it go more than a month or 5 weeks anymore. I feel really bad when my hair doesn't look good. I look in the mirror at myself at night while getting ready for bed and I can't believe it's me. This whole dementia thing is getting to me and to the way I look, at least that's the way I feel. I've gained weight and have always been a rather slim person and I'm not liking the new me. I was just going to make an excuse for not exercising, but I have to take the blame for that. I can do it at home if I can't go out to walk when I want to.
Tomorrow I will plant my annuals and a few perennials I bought. I'll get exercise that way. I just pray I'll be able to get up off my knees without help!
Some people might say otherwise, but in all I think today was a rather "healthy" day for me. I had been gathering boxes of photos, old paperwork that wasn't necessary to save any longer, old boxes of checks from long closed accounts....john's 'memoirs' which are so full of lies (bulls - - t) about his past that I'd be ashamed to have anyone read them, really. Even his mother and dad's old pics, geneology someone had put together. Burned it all outdoors. It was cleansing. NOTHING on my walls but my pictures of my horses, my parents, me and my son when he was alive, my needlework and my own paintings and awards. Now, emptying closet I've ignored. I have two sets of china I was saving for my daughter and some other nice things I had packed away for her. I'm SELLING IT instead! Or, if anyone here wants it, has a son or daughter getting married, write to me, okay? All very nice (Noritake from the '50's) and not a chip or mark on anything...service for 8 or 10...don't remember. I'm making bird houses out of John's old cowboy boots (even adding copper roofs!). Insane? Not thoughtful? I don't think so. The kids have known I had this stuff and I kept asking them to go through it and take it all away, I didn't want it. The way my daughter treated me before Mother's Day in front of everyone, the way the others talked to me......I'd say I've had enough already. If they complain or come asking one day, I'll just tell them how I dealt with it. Suggest maybe they should have thought ahead and been more considerate, themselves? Yep, I'm satisfied.
Now, I need to deal with all of the boxes of stuff my daughter, Ari has stored here. Takes up too much room.....and I want the space. Making ONE more call to her (which she won't answer anyway) and sending an e-mail to ask her to come get it all or...guess where THAT'S ending up. Yup. Landfill. And, NO, I can't afford to send it to her. Too many boxes, no money to spend on THAT. And I know she doesn't have any, either. Decided to WEAR my "bitch stripes" (as my doc calls them) right out in the open. Not shy. I've earned 'em!!
Tomorrow, very early in the morning, I'm meeting a friend at her barn and hauling a couple of horses for her to thier new home across the county. Vroom, vroom! Fun, like I used to have once upon a time. Then, meeting lawyer to have changes made to my will. Poor kids. But, The Heifer Project and other charities come to mind as more needy and deserving than that crew. Done. Stay well, and loving as you all are. Jen
Nope...several people have this idea that my daughter took care of me at some point. No, that was my Mother...and some nurses. My daughter wants nothing to do with me, as the others (stepthings). The latest battle was because I refused to leave the nursing home while they got together to visit thier dad...when they thought he was going to die the week before mother's day. I refused to leave, though I DID acknowledge that I would let each of them have private time with their dad. They just blew up at me. They're all mad at me because they bought very expensive airline tickets to come here and....dad didn't die. Unbelievable. Just doing what the NH director of nursing wanted me to do...tell the kids it could be anytime. John rebounded. Go figure. I am clueless as to human nature anymore. Not even sad anymore. Just disappointed and want all this behind me as soon as possible.
Jen, back in March we thought my FIL was at the end and rebounded too. Fortunately we did not go back then. Just let the kids go - disown them. I was chatting with my daughter in TN last night. First time we have chatted since she got angry a couple months ago. If we drive back she wants us to stop by and bring her back out here to Washington. I have told her over and over that there is no room in the motorhome for her and her son (4 years old). She wants to have my sister help her and I told her that I have told my sister to stop enabling my kids. I mentioned just like her we all have made choices that didn't turn out like we planned and have to live with them. (she made the choice to give up everything she was working on here while in a shelter to move to TN for a guy she met online. Of course it didn't work out and she conspired with her aunt to leave without telling us).
Today started out sunny but then the heavy rain moved in and now it is windy. I have really been in a funk today. I feel exhausted with all the decisions going on. I look in the mirror and see someone much older. As others have found I am aging dealing with this. Oh well! Tomorrow is another day.
Oh, I received some info from the social worker at the VA today. None of the facilities the VA has in Washington have a dementia unit. So I emailed her and she said the one in The Dalles will take Washington residents. She also sent me info on day cares that are approved by the VA. There are two in Vancouver. I will have to do some checking in the months ahead.
Congratulations, ehamilton. What a lot of grandchildren, that's wonderful!
Beautiful day here in Holland. The daycare van was 10 minutes late and for the first time it turned out that another guest -- an elderly lady, very friendly -- had already been picked up. Hope DH doesn't mind and gets along with her. I'm planning to work in the garden most of the day and try to get some runner beans planted. That's the only vegetable I plant. The stakes are still up from last year. This afternoon a neighbor kid is coming to mow the lawn. Hurrah!
Edis, A new baby is such a blessing, they bring such happiness to all. I just love the smell of a new baby's head, lol.
I am doing really well on my Diet! Another 3 lbs this week! That's a grand total of 13 for the month! Not bad considering I had one week without my Jenny Food due to a glitch in the delivery schedule.
Lovely day here in PA made all the brighter with a visit to the new granddaughter. When I told Charlie about her he got a little twinkle in his eye. I told him that as soon as her mother was up to it (she had a c-section) we would bring her to see him and that we would put her on his lap in his wheelchair and wheel her up and down the hall for all to see.
Thurs. has been a continuatiuon of the heavy stuff happening this week. My sister is still in the hospital. Ther surgery went perfectly, but they bthink they nicked a vein on their first entry attempt and it didn't close itself, so her hemoglobin has continued to frop and now she's getting meds for the pain from the blood pooled in her abdomen.
Next 4 yr old grand-niece has been diagnosed with Viral Meningitis, after goig through cat scan and spinal tap. Mom is with her while brother is with Grand[parents and Dad comes home from business trip to England, Sat.
Hospice Dr. came to house today to familiarize herself with DH and his case. They will be takig on 2 mpre of his meds even though being used off label;, they are for comfort care to control tremors. She went over stages and timeline (using Alz chart/he has VaD)to verify that I know I'm facing a long haul ( she thinks another 6-7 years/ I don't think that long). She also brought up placement, but did acknowledge he's too physically able and aware to deal with that well now, and there are't any Medicaid beds available locally now. They are concerned for the breathing issue that has cropped up because it can't be attachd to exertion, emotional distress, or a med. It is transient but could be heart related. So the oxygen concentrator and portable tanks stay. As long as new issues and/or continuing decline present, they'll be here.
Good grief...I feel sorrow for the illnesses and other misfortunes some of you are going through. I'm just in 'survival, self-preservation' mode right now. Need to go to the University in Charlottesville, VA today for nerve testing on my arm before further surgery is done. Have been warned about some percentage of perhaps loosing my arm all together if I have the bone grafts done. Has something to do with bacteria that is encapsulated at the ends of the bones that need grafting onto? Wonder if its worth the risk....but the surgery would definitely strengthen my fragile arm and free up the ulnar nerve....and lessen the pain I have continually. Hard to live with that all the time. Lots of thinking to do...and discussion.
On a better note, got a long, long e-mail from my daughter yesterday. A heartfelt apology, long explanation of her actions, etc. But, all that has happened has done so much damage to our relationship that one e-mail will never heal. Trust, motivations, loyalty and respect are in question. Only the years will tell.
Also, I am blessed with great neighbors...but you've heard about that! Met a fella from up the hill that came by with a petition about realestate taxes . . . hmmmm. He was a cutie, and my neighbor suggests he's a single dad (18 year old daughter). hmmmm. I think my cougaring techniques need honing. (sorry....just lonely for male companionship!!)
Carol, I am sorry....everything seems to hit at once....
Jeanette, always good to hear from you!
We are having summer today and all this week. After so many storms for several weeks, this week is supposed to be dry and hot. For those attending grandkids' graduations, have a safe trip and enjoy and take lots of pictures! For those planning Memorial Day outings, enjoy! (I'll have a picnic - in the den - can't take him to a park any more)
Trying to stay upbeat in a downbeat situation.....I have to hang on to me....I don't want to lose me to AD....I want to cry when I look at him, he's so weak.....
I refuse to continue to be depressed. There is too much good out there. Someday I'll return to the real world. But I'm keeping all of you, dear family!
My sister's hemoglobin numbers are climbing--she's being released today. Yippeee! Today is rainy (surprise!) but we need it. Otherwise, for the moment things ae quiet. I need this.
Rainy and gloomy here today. Had my OB-GYN exam this morning - one good thing about hitting 70 is he told me I don't HAVE to have another pap smear! LOl Sorry, Guys.
DH had his checkup yesterday and they switched him from Aricept to the Exelon Patch. Just started it this morning, so will be interesting to see if there is any difference. He was only on 5 mg. of Aricept anyway.
I made a big decision yesterday. On Thursday, June 3, I will be flying to Chicago to spend some time with my daughter and her husband and go to step-great-grandson's highschool graduation party. Hospice will take care of my wife while I am gone. Return on Monday, June 7. I hope it goes well and I can relax and enjoy being with our daughter.
Beautiful day here in Coastal Maine - sunny, warm, gentle breeze. Our Rhododendron are starting to bloom, about one month early.
Marsh - it will be a time you need, time to remember there is a world beyond AD.
Jen - kids do not seem to realize that mom won't take it forever. My daughter has said and done so many cruel things to me that I have no desire to renew a relationship with us. She is 32 going on 16. From the time she was 16 she has been looking for 'the parents she never had'. And the jerks she shacks up with has to be looking for the father she never had. Her final two actions was after we paid to bring her home from TN, got her into a shelter where she was getting the help to be independent, she conspired with my sister to go back to TN; the last was when she was discussing the abuse her boyfriend does. When I asked why she stays she says it is because it is better than the home she grew up in. I know that statement was to strike back at me. That killed about any chance she has of us having a relationship. I know with her dad's illness she wants to be back here but the last thing he needs is her self-centered actions. After a 3 months of silence she IM'd me the other night asking if we could pick her up if we drove back east and bring her back here. I got her ticked off again when I brought up 'that we all make decisions that we have to live with. We made the decision to live in the west which means your dad has not been able to be there to see his dad'. Well, that ticked her off cause she knows her decision was to move to TN. Now she is not speaking to me a gain. Point: I understand that they do not realize we have feelings and their actions can kill the love for them. Yes, love my daughter but I can not stand to be around her. She is they type of infection I try to stay away from.
Glad for those who have summer. We had it a week ago but this week has been full of cool temps, rain, hail, wind, and glimpses of sun. Unfortunately, it will be heading to those of you east of us. We are having a typical Memorial Day weekend of rain although Monday does show promise of sun.
we are off to the VA sleep clinic. We found out from the dentist that while using the CPAP he is clinching his teeth. That is what led to one of the surfaces on his bridge to break off and the other tooth to weaken and break off. The dentist recommended a mouth guard added to his mask. How much torture can you put a person through?
My mood seems to be better since making the decision not to go back east. I do dread dealing with his brother about it.
Charlotte, You made the decision that is best for you and your husband I wouldn't worry about his brother. Just tell him as soon as you can and it will be over with and you can relax. I don't have relatives to worry/bother about but I know any decision I would make would be what is best for us and relatives can like it or lump it. Hang in there and stick to your guns.
I've been busy cleaning out my husbands office and files and have a question. I know Canadian Income Tax laws are different, but how far back would you suggest I keep income tax returns? An accountant has been doing his income tax forever, and in my mind, I think the accountant should have this all on electronic files. My husband was audited about 6-7 years ago (and had to pay quite a bit). At one time, I think we were advised to keep records back as far as 10 years, then they changed it to 7. But why all this paper work when it's on computer? The accountant is away on holidays or I would ask him.
Thanks, Divvi. I found the Canadian Income Tax web site, and it says 6 years. Anyway, I have now gone through both his and mine and have cleaned them up. He kept all his way back to 1971! Guess I'd better take any antihistamine after being in that dust bin.
I think this has been one of the worse weeks of my life. Monday evening was when I had to admit my husband to the behavior hospital. He has acted up everyday he has been there. He slapped another patient..knocking his glasses off, thankfully he wasn't hurt. My husband had to be sedated. Tuesday, he wanted everyone's shoes, including the activity director...got under the table she was sitting at & fought every one who tried to get him out...he had to be sedated. Wednesday, he woke at 1:30 a.m. running done the halls clapping his hands...he was sedated again. Thursday, he was really agitated at a new patient...he had to be sedated. Yesterday, my son & I went to see him for the first time, before we arrived he grabbed the nurse who is pregnant & twisted he arm, you guessed it he had to be sedated. He never even knew we were there. I just called, and they had to sedate him again, after being fairly calm earlier this morning. I am beginning to wonder if he will ever be able to return to the ALF. This week has been the worse behavior problems for him. I was hoping if he saw me, he would calm down. And besides that it has either rained or stormed every day.
Oh, Kadee, I am so sorry! So much for you to have to go through. I do hope they can get him settled down.
Beautiful day here today and DH has settled down considerably since our trip. Doctor took him off Aricept this week and put him on the Exelon patch - only been two days, so don't know what it will do. But he's been on Aricept for 7 years!
My son is still doing well after the transplants! Even went shopping at Costco's yesterday! Unbelievable - and just a real miracle. Thank you God.
Everyone, I hope you have a peaceful day. Thank you for being here.
This past week has been pretty good as far as my husband is concerned. Until today. He loves to get the mail, it's the highlight of his day.... But today I could hear him calling someone, listened in, and he was getting into an argument with someone over a bill we received. I tried to make him stop to tell him I paid the bill two weeks ago. Turns out it wasn't a bill, just a notice too show what the ins. was covering. When he hung up, naturally, just like all the other times I catch him doing something similar, I was the one at fault! I was trying to explain about the bill and he was getting angrier by the minute. I, of course, was the problem and he's going to get out of this house.
It is so hard to have to remain calm in these situations. I know he needs another pill in the afternoon, but I just can't figure out how to do it. He hardly eats anything, never eats lunch and so the day goes by with me unable to give it to him because I can't put it into anything. He certainly will not take it, he's very suspicious of everything and he knows exactly how many pills he takes. Right now, he's in his room again (with the door locked).
There are some days when I wonder how I will be able to continue living like this. Some of you have lived as much as 20 years with your spouse with a diagnosis like his; I hope I'm as strong as you are. Things are fine one minute and the next turns out to be something like this.
Anyway, it's quite beautiful here today. The sun is shining and somehow that makes the day not so terrible.
I do have something to look forward to, though, this weekend. Tomorrow my oldest grandson is being confirmed. It's a really nice drive to their house and my sister is going with us. The weather is supposed to be nice and I get to see all my kids and grandchildren. That's something to be grateful for.
Have a great day tomorrow, Bev. I too am looking forward to tomorrow. Visit from son, DIL who usually brings her panfluit and the two little girls. It's supposed to be another warm sunny day.
JeanetteB, thanks. After I write about my problems and then re-read them, sometimes I'm sorry I wrote about them. I so want to be strong, and sometimes I'm not.
I'm glad you have something to look forward to tomorrow as well. When I read your posts you seem like such a kind and patient woman; your husband is very lucky to have you.
Muggy day here in PA. I think that we all wish we were stronger than we are but I also think that most of us ARE stronger than we think we are. There is no other explanation for how we get from one day to the next.
Was rainy this morning but sunny now and we're going into a week of really nice 80 degree days. My sister's home from the hospital, and 4 yr old grandniece was released today to bedrest at home for at least a week once bacteria cultures came back negative. Of course it had gotten to the point where she was fine as long as no nurse or Dr. came into her room. Full Moon acts on DH for about 10 day--Full Moon being 7th day, so am already dealing with that. Overall, the day has been good, and considerig the rest of the week, not bad at all.
Oh Kadee, I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Please take some comfort in knowing that there is no way that you can control this. Take care of yourself, as difficult as that may feel. You and your husband are in my prayers.
kadee hopefully this stage wont last too long. its a shame they cant find the right combo of meds to calm him down and allow him some maintain some function. but when they are that aggressive they have to subdue him to keep him andeveryone else safe. hugs, i know it cant be easy to see him like this. divvi
Bev sorry you also are having a bad day. jeanette enjoy your sweet girls carosi glad to hear things are going better today. divvi
after a very long trying week of battling yet another aggressive UTI, DH has seeminly rebounded once again with massive antibiotics. uti and i are old enemies and i fear our battles are just beginning again.
interestingly enough antibiotics can produce constipation as a side effect in some. well as fate would have it DH was one of those few. almost a week of 'nothing' and i was on pins needles after massive doses of laxants and prunes.. haha. heres the irony. poop queen was begging to clean up poop. (G) is it the 'higher powers' have a bit of mischief with those of us who complain about poop duty?? so they send constipation so we change our minds about it all and beg to be allowed to resume our cleanups without complaint and rather glad its back?? i think so!! yet another fact for those of you doing poop duty. when you no long have it you will be happy when it hits.. haha geez!
squirrleyshowed up on friday while the aide was here and the aide was bowed over with the cuteness and politeness waiting for her pb sammich..:) even with my doggies in her face barking and snarling thru the glass she was a real lady. calm and gently took the pb sammich from my fingers thru the slit in the door. much to the aides amusement.
now that all the stress of the last week is passing i hope to catch up on the posts. have a great sunday everyone. divvi
Bev - what better place is there than here to not be so strong? You have to 'not be strong' sometime or it will wear you down even more.
This is normal for Memorial Day Weekend in the PNW - cool and rainy. I long for the weather a couple weeks ago when it was warm, in the 70s and dry.
Just a quiet day. My sister still continues to avoid me and give me the cold shoulder. when I try to talk to her she says as little as possible - like one word answer if that. Oh well.
While cleaning out my husband's study, I came across a couple of video-taped interviews of him done about 15 years ago by the media. What an eye-opener. From a quick, witty, intelligent, bright-spirited man ten years ago to someone with a mask-like face, dull eyes, and who is not really there anymore, except for brief glimpses. I realize how much I've been in denial.
What a coincidence, Mary 75! I found a TV interview with my DH from about 18 years ago! What a difference the years have made.
Bad news from my sister yesterday, someone stole their 10 year old Shih Tzu, Dyna, from their fenced back yard! And she isn't well, has sight problems, bad back problems and needs her medications. They, and I, are heartbroken. She is their baby!
I do hope everyone has a quiet and peaceful day today.
Crazy that someone would take someone's little dog. That's sad. On a heppy note...the bees are back in my bee tree after a two year absence. Honey bees!! My neighbor keeps bees and is going to get me a skep, a queen and a couple pounds of bees (did you know you buy bees by the pound??). Well, like I really need something else to care for right? As a matter of fact, yes, I do.....it keeps my mind off my mess of a life!
Hey, isn't GC getting hitched today???
I'm visiting John at the NH today. He won't eat anything but pie.....got mad at me for trying to talk him into eating his REAL lunch. Okay....Let Him EAT PIE! He's happier now. He talks nonsense about our finances. He's been telling me about shares we own in some racing t-breds....and my favorite track in MD. Wierd. Has imaginings about horses we still own, competition.....I started crying and it made him upset with me. It started all kinds of craziness (in a quiet way)...very discouraging. I'm hoping he'll take a nap and then I just want to go home and watch movies while I do laundry. Its all stormy here and so, is a perfect day for just lying around. WHEN WILL THIS END?????!!! JEEZ, PLEEZ!!
Vicki, how awful to lose your dog that way. My two little Bichons are everything to me and DH too. I can't imagine. We nearly lost Mika in January and I was at the lowest point I've been since this all started. Keep us posted. Hopefully the person who took them has a heart and will return it.
The heat's back in full force here in the NW Arkansas Ozarks. Gotta figure out a way to stop staying up till wee hours so I can garden before it's too hot. If that doesn't motivate me I don't know what will. I've been working on creating a rain garden comlete with two waterfalls catching the run off from the street. I feel like a goat gardening on this hillside.
Another beautiful sunny day In Holland. Had a lovely visit with son and family yesterday. The two-year old loves to follow the winding paths in our yard, in and out of the "big dark woods", over the hill and around the pond. Dh used to build at least one new path every summer. The baby sat on a blanket on the grass and cooed and smiled her round big smile and screeched. Of course it can't last. It's supposed to get cool and cloudy from tomorrow, the very day I am hosting our little coffee circle of English-speaking ladies here in the village. They are English, Scottish, French, Swedish, two Americans counting me. Most of us married to Dutchmen, except for the one Dutchwoman (a good friend) who is married to a Scot! This used to be a very dynamic group when our local Shell and Esso refineries were getting temporary Americans and Englishmen all the time. Now it is a small, sedate and steadily aging group of about 10 women. I have to think of something to bake. And I can't do any shopping because Pentecost Monday is a holiday here. Only the local garden center is open, so we may take a walk there later today if DH gets restless, and grab some lunch.
Hot and humid day today in the Chicago area. Took my husband to day care this morning and stopped at the grocery store on the way home. Went to pull out of my parking spot and decided to go straight rather than back out----BAD IDEA. Didn't realize there was a curb with a planting bed in front of the car and went over the curb into mud and got stuck. Wow, did I feel like an idiot. I was getting ready to call for roadside assistance when a tow truck pulled into the lot to pick up another car and the very nice driver pulled me out. I told him I would pay and he said no problem I'm here already. So glad that there are still nice people out there.
Thanks to all who made me feel a little better the other day.
Yesterday was such a nice day. My sister, husband and I drove to my daughter's house for my 16-year-old granson's confirmation. We had a beautiful brunch and a nice visit. It was almost 90 degrees. Everyone but me thought it was too hot. I'll take hot anytime instead of cold. Anyway, it really was a lovely day.
Today, hubby has been in bed all day. He enjoyed yesterday but maybe he's tired from all the activity. This is a little break from all I have yet to do. I'm glad the sun is out, hope it stays that way for awhile. We've had a rather cold and rainy spring. I planted flowers the other day but have a lot more to go.
In Feb. hb & I visited his sister in FL. She seemed "more than" forgetful in the usual sense. A neighbor told me she took her to dr appts because she frequently got lost. SIL told me her dr said she might benefit from a new pill that stops memory loss. HO HO HO HO She "marveled" at the behavior of her brother and was especially stunned when he insisted someone was trying to break into her house. When we returned home, I phoned her daughter to share my observations. She said she and her brothers were concerned and she appreciated my input. (She lives in another state.) This a.m. SIL phoned to say "my doctor says I have what *brother* has." "Did he say 'Alzheimer's'?" "I don't know." "Did he give you a prescription?" "No, he wants me to see 2 other doctors." "He asked me lots of questions I couldn't answer right away." She was full of questions. I could tell she was unnerved to hear confirmation of what she was afraid of. Wish we were closer so I could sit down and chat w/her about it. She'd put her house on the market a few weeks ago at daughter and one son's insistence tho' she thinks w/down mkt, it won't sell for months. She lives in Bradenton, FL; so if any of you have info about info resources in the area, my e-mail's in profile. I plan to write her (so she won't 'mishear' me) about resources in her area that she can use until she moves near her daughter.
Another cool rainy day. I spent 8 hours catching up the books for the lady I occasionally do. Actually I am her only bookkeeper - she doesn't trust anyone else. It felt good to be away from the repeating and working my mind.
Zibby - my sister still has not spoken to me since our argument 2 weeks ago. I think she too is afraid her memory will not improve. she had a stroke Jan 29th and has suffered short term memory loss since - except she remembers later. The problem is between when she denies she said something after saying something to contradict what she previously had said. (confused??). I debate whether to approach her because I miss just chatting although I can not chat about hb because she thinks I am exaggerating. she is in denial about a lot of things. Oh well.
Charlotte, some of us need to be the peacemakers in our family. As the oldest child I have tried to keep my sisters involved with family. I had a sister that died a few years ago that had caused a lot of problems with in the family. I went out of my way to making sure that we remained friends. It took a lot of biting my tongue at times but I can honestly say that it was worth it to me. Maybe with family we shouldn't keep score and at times go the extra mile. Talk to her and give her a hug. You can tell me to mind my own business if you want to. Love you....