our son and his friend took us to las vegas last week i didnt feel confortable going with a alzheimers spouse but he did well most of the time we decided to walk the strip bad idea he was halfway through and we had to get a taxi back to the hotel although i knew he wouldnt make it by how tired he looked the next day we took it easy and he in the middle of the night he started hitting me with his fist it was the first time in 37 years he had ever hit me i was so shocked although i guess i shouldnt have been because of this damn disease he has also wet the bed the night before he left it seems like hes going downhill faster than i thought
Linda, I'm so sorry. That must have been quite a shock. My husband hit me only once. It was also with his fist, but he didn't continue - just once. I hope you will look into some medication to calm him down if you haven't already. DH was on lexapro for anxiety and depression, and we increased his dose. There haven't been any more incidents. Be sure to take care of yourself and stay safe.
There are others who have been in the same boat and will be along to offer you good practical advice. I haven't had physical abuse, but I know the foremost thing for you is to protect yourself. Whether that's by medications for him, or placement in a care facility, I think you need to get all the help you can, the first step being notifying his doctor. I remember also a member who notified the police so that they would be aware of potential future problems. I urge you to take all steps to protect yourself.
Sorry to hear of the bad experience during your vacation. I have no experience (yet), but suggestions of those who've posted here seem wise. Take care and God bless.
I've not been hit yet either but over the years threatened enough that my escape plan and a bag packed with essentials has been at hand. .. Fortunately FORTUNATELY, when the dr. prescribed Risperadone,the agitation and anger subsided..BUT I don't sleep with DH and what they do when they are asleep or wake up and are startled is probably a different thing.. The outcome is the same though.. Your safety is most important!!
linda t . He probably woke up, was confused by being in a strange room and did not recognize you. I know my DH gets confused if we go to the beach or anywhere he doesn't know. Last summer, while at the beach, he got up earlier than me. He came back to the room and asked me how to get to the kitchen. He followed me anytime I left the room.
Sid was sleeping, having a very bad dream, and was punching me with his fists. I jumped out of bed and woke him up. He was horrified at what he had done. Your husband may have been waking up from a dream, or as others have suggested, been confused in an unfamiliar environment.
However, If it happens again, I would certainly suggest calling the doctor immediately. If it becomes related to AD rage, over which they have no control, medications can calm them.
i did talk to the drs receptionest asking her run it by the dr as he still has enough of himself that i dont want to go to the dr and say something with him right there she said she would do this to keep dr appraised of some of the behavior and he was asleep he acted like he was fighting off someone i tried to talk to him the next day and he didnt want to talk i know he feels bad and was worried when 1st diagnosed that he would get violent it was all he knew of the disease it just was so unexpected for me i didnt know how to react thanks for the help
I'm one of the ones who called the police after the only violent episode. The nice policeman scared the living S*** out of him and advised the local Assistant District Attorney about what he thought was a scary situation. She called me and believe it or not "got it" and gave me her direct phone number just in case I needed it for whatever I though I might need it for.
It has been a couple of years and it never happened again.
The Alzheimer's Association told me that if it did happen again to dial 911 and tell them "I needed someone to take my husband to the hospital." and why. In that case you don't just get one nice policeman. You get paramedics, an ambulance and if necessary someone big and strong to physically move him into the ambulance.
The FIRST THING any caregiver has to do is SURVIVE. If something happens to us, what will happen to them? There was a story a month or two ago about a very elderly man who was killed by his wife, who from the sounds of it was a dementia patient. Never heard anything about the case again. I think someone figured out what was going on pretty quickly and dealt with it, but he was already gone.
So many keep pushing calling the paramedics and have them transport your spouse if necessary. I would not do for one BIG reason: the cost. Police I don't have a lot of confidence in:they are getting too comfortable using tasers every time you turn around. When my brother's significant other died, he was hysterical (came home from work and found him dead) and wouldn't let them near his body. the guy was dead, his body cold so there was no hurry. The police response: tasered him twice including setting the carpet on fire which my brother had to pay for the damage. They didn't want to wait until our brother got there who calmed him down. As for cost, my brother got a $900 ambulance bill a few months ago. I had taken him to urgent care because he was in chest pain (muscles in spasm) and they wanted to send him over to the hospital 5 miles away because they could not access whether it was his heart. They insisted he could not go by car and at the time he was in too much pain and I was too worried to argue. We have hid the ambulance (non-emergency, no light, no hurry) bill from him cause he is in shock from the urgent care/ER bill ($3,000). He walked out of the ER when they started ordering all these test. He is unemployed and no insurance and they could care less. So police and ambulance are not the answer for everyone.
In our area the Ambulance companies offer yearly coverage for the entire family for $39. That's for the year. Fior that, they accept what ever insurance pays and you do not see any further bill. Of course, there has to be insurance. I've called for help in getting DH off the floor and we've had Firemen and EMTs show up--good since those times he needed to be transported--plus he's big. The one time I told them he'd be resistant to transport, and police were parked outside just in case they'd be needed. Only drawback to 911 is they send the Ambulance Co. for your area--may not be the one you have coverage with, so unless it was a heavy duty emergency, I called our Co. direct. Benefit of going by Ambulance is that you're triaged on the way in and you go straight into the service area--no waiting in the waiting room. Noe, for DH, I call Hospice and they'll generate what's called for.