The last couple nights, due to the stomach flu I have slept on the couch...I really don't know why, however, it seems I have slept better there in months. I have 2 different beds that I could be sleeping in. I slept in our bed after placing my husband in Assisted Living, so now why am sleeping I sleeping on the couch??
Sometimes if I'm sick and achy I sleep on the couch. I think it's because putting my back against the back of the couch supports it better and I don't ache so much.
psychoanalytically speaking you may have painful reminders that the 'marital bed' is no longer of use since placing your DH. our pain and loss we endure with AD is represented not only in the obvious ways but many times thru symbolisms, metaphors and dreams. some we can easily recognize others are harder to decipher. some here have said they found peace sleeping in another area of the house as well. divvi
Could it be time for a new mattress? Most matresses last only 8 - 10 years, and that's if your flipping them monthly. A few years back my mother had horrible, chronic back pain. I bought her a new mattress and she was cured! An old mattress can also really disturb your sleep....
There is just something about "sleeping on the couch". If Charlie and I had a tiff (which didn't happen too often) one of us would sleep on the couch. If one of us was not feeling well and didn't want to disturb the other, we slept on the couch. However we have a perfectly nice spare room with a nice bed. Neither one of us ever thought to sleep there.
Since our kids are gone, we have two extra bedrooms with beds. I never think to go into either one. If I 'm having trouble sleeping because he's snoring or I'm not feeling well, I always end up on the couch. If I'm upset, I also sleep better on the couch.
I have read all the post many times. I do think everyone is correct....I feel safe on the couch. May even go back to my childhood, when I was sick, my mom would make a bed on the couch during the day for me. My mother has been gone for almost 25 years, but I have felt her presence lately...I found 2 pennies yesterday in unusual places...pennies from Heaven. I think I will continue sleeping on the couch....at least I don't have to make the bed. Ha!
Isn't there some kind of long body bolster that you can put in your bed that would work like the back of a couch? I know that feeling of security of resting your back against the back of the couch, and it brought back memories. I had 4 brothers, the house was small, and so I slept in the living room on the couch. Not only did I have that secure back-of-the couch sleeps, but I knew everything that went on in the house. It gave me lots of material to write about later on in my life.
I have my twin bed in my own room up against the wall, and several pillows. It gives the same feel as being on a couch, sortof cuddled in. Lovely and secure. When I visited an ALF to see about respite care they showed me a room with a single twin bed in the middle of it. It looked so lonely!
Kandee, it might be time to turn what was the marriage bedroom into your own bedroom and your own haven. It might be time to get a different size bed in that room. Not just a different bed with a new mattress, but a different SIZE. It might be time to change the colors in the room, get new bedding, move all the furniture around so it looks totally different. Maybe you need to get his clothes out of the closet and out of the drawers. Box them up if you aren't ready to give them all away, but make the room and the closets and the drawers your own.
It is very possible that what you are feeling about the couch is just the need for change.
I'd consider the full body pillow as well, especially if you and your husband were cuddlers.
Kadee, I think Starling's idea is a good one. I did it myself. Now, I "live in my room". Just love the room. I have a queen adjustable bed, flat screen TV, a recliner, bookshelves, my laptop. I even eat in there. I know - not supposed to do that, but I never was a "eat at the table type" unless others were there. My thinking is "whatever feels good for me". If the couch feels good for you, go to it. No set and fast rule here.
I nap better and more comfortably on the couch than I do at night in bed with my spouse. I think it's stress. I'd rather be alone when I sleep now that we don't have a partnership relationship. It would not be a politically good time to make that move though...I think his feelings would still be hurt, but I'm going to think of a reason to put him in his own bed somewhere down the road.
emily, yes, I'm with you about that. I figure the time will come when he will need a hospital bed if he is still at home. And that will be when I start making changes.
I can sleep like a baby in my recliner, or on the couch. However, I love my bed....and sleep well there too...when my husband is in the Hospice Hospital for my respite. <grin>
However, earlier in this disease, he would be all over the bed at night, from one end of the bed to the other, sheets and blankets totally dislodged, and refused to take the medicine that would help him sleep (he has sleep apnea and won't wear the mask and has Restless Leg Syndrome and wouldn't take the pills) - so I moved into the guest bedroom. After three days, he said he would take the pills if I came back to the bed, so I did.
He won't go to sleep until I'm in bed with him. I am his link - period. So, I will continue to sleep in the same bed with him and get most of a good night's sleep....there'll be time AFTER..... But this is just my feelings on the subject.....