I have read a number of comments on this blog about NH’s and how they sometimes upset you or make you disappointed with them. My DW has been in a NH since early January and I now have 3 months experience. I was very confused about the NH but herer are some little tidbits that might help you:
• 1. The concentration of wheelchairs around the nurses station is good for the patients. Otherwise they would be in their rooms without seeing any activity except a quick passerby. • Most nurses or aides do have good hearts and are doing something that very few of us would be willing to pursue. • I encourage the aides and staff to smile more often. They have beautiful smiles and it would be good for the visitors as well as the patients. • Talk to the other patients, even if they can’t carry on a conversation. They like the attention. I am astounded about how many do not seem to have any regular visitors. • Take your LO for a walk, maybe outside to a courtyard or just around the building. The change of scenery is helpful. • Take Sunday Ad sections from the newspaper and help them leaf through them looking at the children, the pretty shoes, or sporting goods for the men. • Remember all the little things they get like baths, shampoo, skin lotion, potty help, good food, eating help, medicine help (crushed pills),etc. • Respond to those other patients that seem to want to talk or just ask you a question. • Get personal with the staff. They have homes, families, kids, pets, etc.
Add to this list from what you have experienced. Certainly, a NH is not the most desirable place for our LO but it is a big help for the Caregivers.
What wonderful observations and suggestions! My husband is in an assisted living facility and I am also surprised at how many of the other residents don't have visitors. I'm actually getting to know them a little bit. They just want some love and attention too. It is hard to watch them decline as well.
Good idea on the newspaper adds. I will need to try that. I have already brought, and donated, large lego's. I helped my husband to put things together and not be so distructive at the ALF. He had been taking things apart while he was 'fixing them'. He's an aeronautical/astronotical engineer by training and his brain goes non-stop. I can't understand him and he can't communicate it well but it is working non-stop.
My husband has kept every post card and letter written to his mother when he was in med school. Also, a collection of post cards from his travels in his youth. My daughter and I try to bring some of those with us when we visit. Sometimes its amazing how much he remembers from that distant time and what he can tell us of it all.
billeld - everything you say is right on. My husband will have been in his facility a year the end of June. In spite of the fact that it was the hardest decision I ever made, I can't help but think that it was the right one. Nursing Homes have a bad reputation and I think that is too bad. I am sure there are some bad ones out there and even the best are sometimes over worked and understaffed, but all in all, I think it is better to have him in a situation where he sees different people and has all the help he needs for his daily living. Since he is so limited in what he can take part in (nothing actually) he has his meals in the therapudic dining room which is simply a small dining room (only 5 residents eat in there) and they are given 1 on 1 attention. I try to be there for at least 1 meal a day and it is good to sit with the aides and chat. Sometimes we talk about them, their families, their likes and dislikes, sometimes we talk about my husband and what we think best fits his needs. I have also adpoted a couple of the ladies who eat with him and seem to have very little company. One of them thinks I am a doctor and tells me about her aches and pains, which I try to ease with a back rub or a kiss. Life is what it is and I am trying hard to make the best of it.
I'm dealing with a nursing home on a temporary basis right now because DH fell and broke his hip. he's there for rehab. Of course, that 's very brief, and I've been there only 2 days right now. It is a scary place when you first get there, scary as in, omg is DH ready for this. Hopefully, for us, I will still be able to care for him at home, when he's ready, but ..... For those who can't, and I might well be one of you at some point, It's a tremendous decision, made with much thought and prayers.