DH brought it up again after supposedly settling everything with the woman on the second floor. I asked him what was said and he said "it" meaning the job wasn't discussed. Of course I know he doesn't remember what was said a couple of days ago. Now he is talking about he will need a car so he can get to the different places so I won't have to take him everywhere. I am about ready to scream like a banshee. One of us will end up being committed and I am not sure it will be him first. I hope and pray when we go on Friday the neuro can adjust his meds to stop him going on about it. My nerves are shot!
I am sorry to keep posting about this. I imagine you all are sick of reading about it as I am of hearing it. There is no where else I can vent so you folks get it all. Again I apologise if it is getting on your nerves.
Jean, this is what this site is for. Go ahead and vent all you want. I have no advice for you, but I feel for you so much. No apology necessary. I do hope you can get some med adjustment Friday. Try to hand on until then. Lots of hugs.
jean we understand, the constant repetition of paranoia is no walk in the park. its tiring and frazzles the nerves. its said too often the reason buttons are broken, but so is the patience levels at times. make SURE you tell the dr how badly it is for you and its affecting both your psyche. good luck divvi
Jean, What brought me to this site is the caring and understanding that is evident here for spouses of loved ones with AD. Our friends, family and even our children cannot understand what we go through on a daily basis and everyone here knows because we live it every day. So come as often as you need to and vent all you want. Not only are there people who care but can help encourage and lift us up in the hard moments. And ALL of us have those days and will be here sharing those times. This disease results in loneliness and isolation but Joans site has given us a safe place to come and share and receive support from people who truly know the road you are walking down. God Bless.
Thank you, Divvi, Vickie and SandyRN. DH has gone for a walk. I took a shower and thought about banging my head on the tiles but decided I would just end up with a raging headache. I have all the info in the computer to print out for the nuero. I have in there that when DH starts I get nervous and sick to my stomach. Today I have added that something has to be done to stop it before I go crazy. The first time I posted on this site I said I didn't think I would make it as a caregiver and it is getting to be so true.
Jean21 vent all you want.. I am sure we all understand what it is like.. I learned how to Alztalk. I take very little litterally and I ignore even more. The constant obsessions never seem to disappear, but the goal is to redirect and not try to rationalize with alz.... You cannot win.
Jean, when I think back to when my husband was driving me crazy I do believe that I started humming....yep, humming....show tunes, church hymns, Motown...anything to block out his chatter and questions. When I did answer it was something like..."uh huh" and "yep, we can do that later"....then I would just do something else.
I was the world's worst caregiver...but I made it through. If I did it so can anyone.
My hubby used to listen to the radio in the morning with me..the news and some talk shows on local stations. Now he is not interested and I have a head set ( an old one) and I walk about with it on listening to those shows.
It is so upsetting when I have just told him what day and date it is and then 5 minutes later I tell him again. The arena where is is so important, is the taking of meds.
Each day there is more and more falling on me. My GF who is a nurse has her AD hubby in a NH now and has suggested strongly, since I really don't have family nearby, that I start to look at the range of NHs in our area before I end up in a hospital myself.
It is too early for that sort of placement but I think she has a point, to find out what is in our area, how much it will cost etc. At least I did learn through our lawyer for estate issues that once DH resigns as trustee along with me I will be the sole trustee and will then have total POA. That is in the mill now along with all the doctor visits.
At Mass last night, being this is the start of Holy Week, our priest said something interesting in relation to the events of Good Friday. For those of us who are Christian, Jesus took on our sins, was crucified for our redemption. He gave all for us. There is no greater love. And when we do likewise, for our fellow man by extending ourselves be it going to Haiti to help, or to take care of the ill, it is a hard task, a rewarding task in that it is a demonstration of "No Greater Love" than to take on and do for those in need what they can no longer manage for themselves alone. We help them carry their cross...and here we are on this thread helping each other carry ours. Somehow there was a sweetness in the way Fr K put it all. I think he may know that at least 3 of us who assist at 5PM Mass have DHs with AD.
Jean, Vent away. I'm not a normally patient person and the constant repeating of things, subject matters, etc. are what I find the hardest to contend with. Sometimes I also put on my earphones and listen to music and I say okay alot....
Every night we go through the same questions. When are we going? Do I look all right? Do I need a coat? What about a cap? No., I say, we are not going anywhere. Good he says....Later he goes to his closet and puts on a jacket and his Alabama cap and sits down waiting. Then the questions start over again. I made large flash cards saying We are not going anywhere and one that says nobody is coming here. It has not stopped all the questions but I don't have to answer I just hold up the sign with a smile....
Phranque is working on his new invention...for AD patients It is a remote control that will automatically mute the sound, adjust the volume, and replay the last thing you said. Additionally, it has 100 speed talking features, so that you can automatically play it. 1. Yes 2. No 3. We are not going out 4. etc etc.... I had a perfectly working model, but unfortunately my dw misplaced it and we cannot find it anywhere. I made another one and then the dog chewed it. My third one is getting GPS, and made of titanium.....but it seems to interfere with the signals...
Here the subject matter is all about the cigarette. He started chainsmoking because he would forget he just had one and if I said anything he would tell me I was wrong. We can't afford to buy them like that. So, I have taken over how many he gets. I give him 5 in the morning and 5 in the afternoon and sometimes 1 in the evening. He had his 5 cigarettes smoked before 11:00 this morning. Well, we are going to my sister's for her son's birthday, so all I've heard now is that he will have a cigarette in the car and do I have them in my purse. What time are we leaving? Don't forget his cigarettes! Over and over and over..................
I've even wrote everything down on his dry erase board. Doesn't stop him from then asking me if what I wrote down is right. I'll be in the corner screaming with you.....LOL
Now he just asked me if he can lay on the floor OMG---where did that come from!
phranque, you beat me to it. You have already gone crazy! The story about your dog chewing on the remote is like the one you used in school when you hadn't done your home work!!!!
Deb, DH doesn't ask me about the non existent job he tells me he has to do it. He brought it up again this afternoon and I asked him just what kind of job it is. The best he can come up with is when this "guy" leaves he will take over!!!! For some reason only known to him this is the ONLY thing he goes on about. A while back he asked me what they would do with our condo if he didn't work. Would you believe nothing, we own it.
Jean, how is the SIL? You haven't mentioned her lately....... <grin>
If you responded to his question with something off the wall like stating facts dealing with how many tigers are left in the world, or the mating call of the dove, would he stop and do a double take and give you a few seconds of quiet? <grin>
Have you tried buying candy cigarettes and giving them to him and telling him those are the only ones they are selling any more? (I can be very sneaky and subversive......see what AD has turned me into? - I've even chewed up phranque's list and he blamed it on the dog)
I never tell DH we are going somewhere until it is time to get ready. Then, I put his clothes out for him. It has done away with all the questions of where are we going, when, why. One problem I do have is that when he is ready to leave, I better be ready. He can only socialize for so long. Today, we went to brunch with our kids and grandkids to celebrate the 5 birthdays we have this week. When he was ready to go home, I told him he'd have to wait since we came with our daughter. He did pretty well and only used the restroom 3 or 4 times.
I'm not trying to make light of your obvious high blood pressure problem, and there is no medication to help and I know it is driving you nuts, as it would all of us....but it will pass.....when is the question. Please continue to vent.....there are no right or wrong answers....only a lot of empathy, love and hugs....(((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))
When my kids were little, I was known for saying that kids should come with on/off switches and volume control, hmmmm, maybe that's what we need for the spouses now????
Mary, SIL still calls here sometimes twice in one day or two days running. I am guessing she forgets she has called. i answer the phone but get DH to talk to her. She must not be complaining because he isn't worked up when he gets off the phone. Of course you never know if he remembers what she's said. LOL. If she knew I was paying some of her bills on line she would have a hissy fit seeing how close we used to be. NOT!
p.s. I have decided to go shopping tomorrow and not to any store that sells food! I don't know if I will find anything worthwhile but I will spend some time looking. I take a 4 or 6 petite but try finding something suitable for a 70 year old.
Good luck shopping, Jean! I'm the same size and it's almost impossible! I have found a great consignment shop here and she always calls me when she gets my size in The Loft or Talbots. They always fit me perfectly and I usually like their styles. Not so in the regular stores though. (I'm also 70).
Jean21...find a Talbot's store in your area (I don't know where you are). They have LOTS of petite sizes and are typically very reserved and traditional.....not "trendy" or what my twentysomething daughter prefers. For mature women or professional types. You'll find something there of high quality.
I'm a 2 petite and find a lot of great phitting clothes at Talbots, too... The Jones NewYork brand found at Macy's is another that phits... but that brand runs large so if you wear a 4, try a 2.. go one size down.. I also love the consignments and sometimes the Thrift stores will have NEW (tags still on) items.... This for Phranque, in case he thinks I'm 35... I am 71... Another tip, when You DO find a good phit... buy several in different colors..All phasion divi's do THAT... Phasion divi's, cleaning toilets and wiping up all day, Yeah, that phits all of us....
uh, Peggy, only the phact that you are 71 saves you phrom being sent muu muus to wear so that you will phit in with the rest of us!! Petite is allowed, but NOT SIZE TWO! OR FOUR, phor that matter!!!! You need some meat on those bones!!!! Believe me, this place is philled with good cooks, and we'll be happy to phatten you up!!! <grin>
Throw in my 100 pounds and I am a dynamo... Would love some of that good food.. but alas, this caregiving business captures my appetite.. Anybody else have this problem...?? By the time, I catch whats flying off the table, assist with his eating, listen to all his complaints, I hardly have an appetite at all....I seem to be venting a lot to you all.. Loveya for listening...