No matter how many times I take my DH to the bathroom before bed, he still wets it once, sometimes twice a night. He must pee like a race horse because he wears depends but soaks right through them! Getting his wet clothes off, changing him into something dry, pulling off the wet sheets, throwing them in the wash, then remaking the bed before we can back to sleep @2, 3 or 4 in the morning every night is getting very old and I'm tired of this! I tried the bed pads for extra protection but he tosses and turns and they won't stay in place. So by the time he's done the deed, they're on the floor and of no use! Sometimes I've tried having him wear two depends but the weirdest thing happens, he'll soak the first pair, the second pair will be dry but the bed still gets wet. I don't know how that happens!? Any way, I don't know the last time I had a good night's sleep any suggestions? Patt K.
Move into another room! Does HE wake up with the wet, or do you? If it's you, I'm serious: bundle him the best you can, go away and to sleep, and deal with it in the morning.
I don't know if this would work for a man, but if he will keep his Depend on it's worth a try. For my wife I use a product similar to Depend called "Tranquility Premium Overnight Disposable Absorbent Underwear". I usually add a booster pad - "Tranquility Topliner Booster Pad". The combination will hold 45 ounces of urine without leaking. Last night my wife slept for 12½ hours. The bed was dry, but the underwear was full. This is avaiable in the "Incontinence" section of the Alzheimer's Store. A link to this can be found a little way down on the right side of the AlzheimerSpouse home page.
I am so glad to find this thread!!!! I am ready to blow my brains out!! Sharon is the size of a muppet and she somehow manages to hold gallons of pee. I have to change the bed so often it is like a Monty Python routine. It doesn't seem to matter how often I take her to the toilet. Last night after dinner I brought her back to the bedroom to sit in bed and watch/listen to TV for a while. She was a little fidgety so I asked her if she was OK. She indicated that she was after a bit of prodding. I decided to take her to the toilet regardless and when I got her to stand up she had peed a huge puddle all the way through EVERY SINGLE LAYER on our bed... and she WAS WEARING a damned DEPENDS. From the comforter all the way down to the waterproof mattres cover. I am so tired of washing everything. And frankly just wore the hell out.
pat, try janes (?) suggestion of putting 2 booster pads in the depend, one at the reg bottompart and one ACROSS the top part of the depend up next to the stomach. the two form like a T-shape in the depend. i tried it and thanks jane it helps ALOT -only thing is maybe your DH has the apparatus not pointing down in the diaper. if its up its going to make for wet everywhere, shirt, sheets, pads, etc. my suggestion is buy a couple of the much larger like twin size pads that they sell in the medical supply houses. they shoud stay on better thant he smaller ones. all else fails layer a couple of plastic type large garbage bags under the top sheet and put towels over it and let him lay on that. at least the mattress and bottom sheet wont be wet. i dont think necessarily having ALL the appropriate sheeting is a must when the objective is keeping them dry, haha.. letting them wet over long periods is asking for trouble like uti or skin breakdown and infection or rashes. if you do use a good waterbarrier creme to protect skin. divvi
Patt - one possibility is that when he has to pee he reaches down and pulls it out. My bil use to do that and we joked about using duct tape to hold it down so he couldn't pull it out. As for the bed pads, do you have the ones that come with material to tuck under the mattress? Also, buy some of the sheet garters, cut the elastic between the two garters off, then measure some elastic the length of under your mattress and sew the elastic to the two garters (like putting elastic in a waistband, you have to figure out how much you need so it is tight when stretched). You fasten on each side of pad stretching under the mattress to the other side of the pad. I have used this to hold sheets on our mattress for years. Seems no matter what sheets I buy, the do not stay on correctly.
I am not having this issue with my dh yet but am trying to figure out what to do when it happens. The way things are headed it won't be long before we are having this problem. I was wondering if twin beds pushed together will be easier than having to wash a king size bed linen constantly. Has anyone else made this type switch? Please help.
When Joel was an infant, I could not believe how one tiny little baby could wet so much. Waking up at 2 AM, stripping the crib from the mattress cover to the blankets, changing him, feeding him, changing him again, re-making the crib, and getting him back to bed could take 2 hours. I do not yet have this problem with my husband, but I certainly can sympathize at having to relive your early parenthood days with an adult size infant.
If I were in this situation, I think I would go with briegull's advice or mammie's suggestion. Put them in another room, and deal with it in the morning, or get twin beds and deal with it in the morning. Along with providing every type of double and triple protection for them and the bed.
How do you deal with the odor? No matter how much you wash, doesn't it linger in the room?
I went through washing sheets every morning for a year and a half. I tried every suggestion and nothing worked. DH had a hospital bed and slept in another bedroom. Being wet didn't wake him during the night and he never had any redness or irritation/ I did make sure to use BagBalm every time I changed him, especially at night. I just got used to doing laundry daily. Joan, the hospice aides would come three times a week and would comment on how fresh his room always smelled. It should, I washed the bedding every morning along with his pajamas. Never any smell in his room.
Marsh, If I were still going through that phase, I would have tried your suggestion. I tried everything else. I just never found any thing that worked.
Being totally inexperienced in this topic (and gratefully so), I just wondered if there exists something like a catherer that they use in the hospital.. Certainly something like that just must exist...perhaps a long hose in a bucket, with some plumbers putty or caulk to seal body leaks?? I remember seeing my mom with a catherer in the hospital, and it seemed to work quite well. Is it available only by "prescription", or is this something I should be trying to invent?? It seems a lot easier than washing 10 loads of wash every day.... would taping a gallon jug to them work?? old milk jugs are cheap and duct tape is even cheaper... Just a thought for the "professionals" out there
There is a catheter that is worn externally. But dh would never leave it on. Duct tape works for everything, but I don't think it would be very pleasant removing it. Better rethink that on phranque.
The external catheter for men works good if they can't pull it off. Plus, to get it to stick the area has to be shaved, clean and dry before adhering. Once they can no longer reach down there and pull it off they would be great.
Marsh - I am not there and hope to be a long ways away from there. But, I will keep those diapers in mind. Plus, the bedpads that tuck under the mattress. Unfortunately, not much can be done to keep the top sheet dry.
That cath thingy...I dunno...my dear ol daddy had what they call the Texas Cath and that didn't work because he always got it off. Then they tried the awful hospital kind of cath and he hated that plus there were constant problems with UTIs..and it didn't help he was diabetic. Of course being a retired general surgeon he knew how those gadgets worked... The other think about the accidents, lesson learned from dear daddy was those urinals by the bedside were not well used either. He used the rug for target practice I think. If there is carpet on the floors of the bedroom try to find some way to cover those or get them out.
With DH if worse comes to worst I'll roll up my oriental and then pull out the wall to wall carpet..we are on a concrete foundation. Won't be pretty but nothing about this disease is.
Phranque, I have been questioning my b-i-l who is a quad with a catheter what he thought. Same answer as others gave, if it could be pulled off it probably would. I do think that if they were not at that stage yet it might work. But we will see all too soon I am afraid.
When I am faced with that problem I do intent to use your suggestions marsh. They are very good suggestions but I may go with the twin beds also. Put real close together so we can still snuggle.
My wife recently had the same type of problem but with loose bowel. I used the bed pads on top of the sheet and placed one plastic side up under the sheet to protect the mattres from staining. then i took a maxi pad or a depends and covered her butt with it to cut down on the mess. the depends i cut in two pieces which kept me from having to try and get them on her but still covered the area. this worked pretty well and when the problem recurrs we start over again.
phranque, i have had more catheters for DH than wanted. they are very uncomfortable and increase greatly infections and uti's. you'd want to use this only as a last resort for inability to pee not the reverse unfortunately to just make our work easier.i've changed more bedding in the last 3yrs than i care to mention and gone thru a set of washer/dryers to boot. marsh i think your idea is a great one but having to order as many as i go thru would be a hassle to order online or buy in large quantities. its just easier to buy in local stores i think. plus being a woman has its advantage over men. no movement of apparatus during the nite and inability to 'move' it. haha. that would make it easier to deal with too. divvi
Such helpful tutorials. I know it won't be long before I'll be re-reading this topic in desperation. But for right now. If anyone could make a 'cartoon' of Phranque's description of 'the device'..well...just thankful for all the creativity that abounds here. :))))
Okay, I'm jumping in....I have been dealing with this for over a year...like Divvi said, we wash so many sheets, and blankets and bed pads...and I got the three foot by eight foot rubber covered pad at the fabric store like we used the small pads for our infants to keep the cribs dry - and it goes from the head to the feet on his side of the bed. AS LONG AS HE WEARS THE DEPENDS AND DOESN"T PULL "IT" OUT, the bed stays dry. The pad catches any overage from the Depends. However, the Squirt seems to either take off his Depends or pull "it" out when he has to go, thereby wetting everything on his side of the bed. I have started using two of the hospital strength bed pads on top of the rubber one now, and the bottom sheet stays dry this way. And I'm back to washing the rubber bed pad only. I wash with vinegar and Tide and no odor. Sometimes I use this new Fabreeze rinse for laundry - I use it or Clorox II when I wash his clothing. That way no smell there either.
Catheters wouldn't work on my husband because he would pull it out. I'm sure duct tape would make him break out in hives.....
Those hospital strength bed pads hold a lot, thank goodness.
Marsh, if I added more padding to the Depends, he would just take it out and drop it on the floor! I'm so glad it works with your wife though!
I just had an idea, you know those shammi clothes they advertise on tv, the ones that are suppose to soak up so much water. Wonder if I could stick two of those in a t shape inside the depends? I wouldn't want to squeeze them out but could I throw them in the washer instead? Anybody use them around the house for cleaning- would they work?
I thought they made self cleaning sheets. Certainly they make disposable sheets, right?? If not, can't you just turn them over and use the other side that isn't wet??
you know they make a cathether that can be installed with a bubble on the end that is filled after insertion that prevents it from accidently coming out. i had one installed for ten days when i had a prostate infection and couldn't pee. it was kind a convienent cause i didn't even have to stop what i was doing to pee haha. just dont forget to empty the bag when it's full. your PHP can advise you about whether or it would work. i know you cant get it out unless you cut off the plug with a scissor. it comes with small tubing and a bag which can be strapped to your leg and worn under clothing. i worked the whole time i had it in. just wore loose fitting clothing and no one knew it was there.
Bruce-indwelling catheters, as they are called, used to be used on almost all incontinent patients. They are a huge source of UTIs and can be pulled out with the balloon intact causing damage to the urethra. They are rarely used just for convenience anymore. You had an acute medical indication.
there was nothing cute about it(hehe) i know that long term installation is not the approved method for long term incontenence but there is nothing obout this illness that i have found to work w/o problems. a talk to a urologist could determine if it was a solution or not. life w/o some humor is not life but existience only. i am not trying to be funny just offering suggestions. it is very frustrating to awakened in the middle of sleep with a soaking wet bed changing the sheets, drying the matteress, replacing all the protective pads, changing your DW nite clothing, drying her off and then trying to then go back to sleep. i am not ready to let her go to NH. i spent 29 years of my life caring for other people who were hurt or suffering and i will care for her to the end (GOD willing).
There are so many different suggestions! Guess I'll just keeping trying until I find a solution for DH. Although I know just when I do figure this out, things will change. Nothing ever stays the same with this *@#* disease. You never know what's around the next corner.I hate that feeling, its so damn scary. Divvi, I'm already using the large garbage bags down over the mattress pad with several thick towels covering them, so the mattress and mattress pad are fairly well protected, its the top sheet I can't keep dry. I hate to limit liquids in the evening but may have to along with the t-shaped protective pads inside the depends as suggested. Charlotte, we think alike! I actually contemplated the duck tape to keep "it" inside where it belongs! Didn't want to be charged with abuse so discarded that idea quickly. Joang, "Oust" combined with"Febreeze" work wonders on the smell. And as mentioned with all those washing things smell great most of time.I don't think I can try sleeping in the other bedroom. Maybe some day but right now I'm not comfortable with it. I want to be able to hear him when he gets up and moves around around the house and DH is very insecure and fearful if left alone. He'd just get up and hunt me down or cry and shout until he found me or woke me up so I might as well be in same room!
Patt K. You might be on to something with the sham wow. Come to think of it, the last surgery my DH had one of the older aids had be buy "puppy pads" from walgreens and a box of shamwow. She did put the the shamwow on the bed under the puppy pads and then the sheets over those. She also had a small (blue) shamwow in the recliner lift chair that he sits in during the day. The pupply pads absorb more liquid that the bed pads that the hospital sent home. URINE BE GONE is great for the smells, you can use it in the laundry, rugs, carpets car seat etc.
Ok. I also tried putting on two Depends and one was soaked, the other dry although the bedding was soaked as well. I tried putting Depends on the side he sleeps on but still it leaks. What are the pads you use? Are they the ones for the bed?
I buy the pads from Toys R Us in the infant section to protect the mattress and then put the disposable pad on top. That helps the bottom part but the top sheet and blanket are still wet. My husband's T-shirt is soaked. He does not wake up at night any more so I let him sleep. Considering I limit his liquids before bed, I don't know where it all comes from. I tried getting him up during the night but he was too groggy and I thought that was dangerous and he was wetting anyway so why bother.
Oh, yes, I do make sure his penis in pointing down when I put him to bed. That was a good suggestion. Thanks.
I would like to try the "T" idea but need to find out what the pads are you are referring to. Thanks again.
I guess I'm officially part of the "pad patrol" now. Bought Depends for the first time today. Also bought padded "guards" that stick inside. I'm going one step at the time to see which works best! Who knew the LARGE capacity of the bladder? LOL!
humm i never saw any drugstore or walmart that didnt carry the booster incontinence pads! they come in various brands depends makes them and cvs and walmart i think both have their brands. i like the TENA brand ones they are longer and made reallly thick of cotton and absorb alot. whatever brand you use , just put one on the bottom of depend as usual and put one across the top of the depend over the penis area - it would be like a T in place - it helps to keep the shirts dry and absorbs alot of the extras. divvi
I found Depends guards or pads in WalMart and I had read about the "T" here but forgot to put the pad across the top...oh well, I'm sure I'll have another opportunity! Thanks, divvi for that reminder.
But I find that regular guards have plastic on the bottom so wet doesn't go thru. A d the stikum doesn't go to the ends. But there do exist double ups that work pretty well. I don't use a fop sheet just a lite throw. And it doesn't seem to get soaked.
I remember a friend of mine, whose husband was a serious wetter, had a trick she used. She would put two of the Depends on him..but put a slit in the one closest to the skin...that way the overflow could seep down into the second Depend. She said that usually contained all of the urine overnight. Might be worth a try???
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We saw it a couple of years ago when it was in Chicago. The thing that surprised me the most was the relative sizes of men's and women's bladders. A man's bladder is much larger that a female's. That information doesn't help with the wetting, but it explains why women see to have more trouble with their spouses at night than men do with theirs.
I tried it, Sandi, and it does help.. but it still seems to go all over the place! I keep him in flannel pj bottoms which absorb some of it (they go into the wash every day along with t-shirt) and am just resigned to a degree of dampness!
DH did not wet the bed last night.Hurrah! The relief was short lived- found him @4:00am standing in the corner of bedroom just peeing away a giant puddle on the rug. Aaaaagh! I JUST CAN'T WIN!!!!!!! Tonight he gets 4oz of liquid with dinner (early) and that's it. I will give him his night meds with pudding, put 2 depends on him, and pray I can get one good night's sleep. That's something I haven't had in weeks and its beginning to show in my weight, skin, hair, memory and mood. Does anyone use Tena products? I saw an ad in our Sunday paper and was thinking about ordering. Looked kinda pricey to me but if they do the job it would be worth it.
I used Tena pads but as with everything else I used, I never had a dry bed morning for over a year. I did like them better but only because of the feel not that they helped with a dry bed.
Patt, the drug stores, KMart, and Walmart carry the Tena products. I am using the Tena pull ups during the day as he usually does not have any accidents. At night I am using the Depends that are flat and tape on with 2 Tena overnights pads and sometimes a male type guard also. Then I have vinyl pants over that. I was still having a lot of mornings that he was wet along with the mattress pad. Sandi* just posted a hint to slit the plastic coverings on the bottom of the pads and I have had 3 nights in a row that his pajamas are dry. Thank you, Sandi.....
Bama, I am glad that the hint is working for you...I hope it continues.....
When my husband was on hospice I didn't use their pads...the nurse looked at my supply of Tena products and told me that I would never be happy with what they could supply. I looked online and ordered his supplies and had them delivered to the house. There are several suppliers so you can compare prices. If you order a big enough supply the shipping will be free. It was easier than going to the hospital supply place and dragging them home.
Patt K, my husband was one who would pee in the corner, in a wastebasket, a drawer or down the heating/cooling vent....so, I know how frustrating this is....
Just a great thought so you do not have to change sheets or wash them... When you get tired of it, book a room at a discounted hotel and check out very early.......$29.95 a night is almost worth it....
Sandi. So funny I had just tried the two Depends and putting a slit in one (it won't work otherwise). Boy do they get full! I put a Poise on the side he sleeps on and this morning he was not as wet (usually his undershirt on one side is soaked. The Depends are so full I am surprised he can walk to the bathroom and maybe that is why the underpads get wet. I haven't received the booster pads yet and am anxious to try them. Glad to know that men pee big time!