To My Dear Friends: I haven't posted in a couple of weeks and so much has been happening that I won't attenpt to bore you with all of it.
Suffice it to say that I have made some mistakes and caused myself a great amount of grief. As some of you know, my DW was in the hospital in our town and the dr said that I couldn't take care of her anymore. Boy, was he right. Anyhow, I decided to move to Tulsa (about 300 miles away) so she would be close to our children and her family. The dr suggested that it would be better to locate a NH in the new city so as not to move her more than once. And that is what we did.
I was to go back and sell the house, wrap things up and move us (or rather me) back to our ancestral home. Nothing has gone right and I have made myself miserable. Travelling back and forth is expensive and tiring. I am now staying at our Son & DIL's home and they are as nice as can be. But, I don't like it and therre isn't anything I can do about it.
Also, and I will close with this, my DW is literally begging me to take her home and it breaks my heart. This, after having the same experiences that our new member described on her first thread.
Thanks for listening and letting me vent. I sure do appreciate this websit.
awww. Dean i am so sorry its been so hard making the transition. hopefully once you are settled in your own place and DW in the NH a bit longer things will go easier on you and her. let us know how you are when you can- its good to hear from you and we will xxx fingers for you. divvi
Dean, I'm so sorry things haven't worked out as you anticipated. Give it a little time and things will smooth out. Keep in touch here. We're pulling for you!
Give yourself time. Moving, especially to another State, is difficult, confusing, and stressful under the BEST of circumstances. You did it with an AD wife and as a caregiver trying to cope emotionally with the changes in her abilities and functioning. Take it one step at a time, one day at a time, and do not expect to settle in right away.
In your wife's case, it would not matter in which State she was. I am sure she doesn't even know she moved from one State to another. She only knows that she is not home with you - her reaction and adjustment will be the same as if she were in a NH in your former State. It will take time.
Dean, go easy, you are doing a great job! I can't even fathom what it would be like to move as you have just done! You amaze me! I am so glad that your Son and DIL are being so kind :o) Will you look for a place of your own later or will you continue to live with them? Give them a hug from me along with a big thank you. I wish we had more stories of grown children being so kind and generous. Now remember, go easy on yourself, my friend, you are doing great. All good things take time. Arms around, S
Dean, I had not read this yet when I answered your e-mail so don't feel you have to repeat it all to me. My thoughts and prayers are with you and I hope things get easier with time. Hang in there. Elena
Dean, I can't imagine what it is like to have to place my spouse permanently (I've just adjusted to my 5 days a month) much less to move and not have my own space!! I imagine it would drive me crazy! Hopefully you can move into an apartment shortly and not have to depend upon your kids for housing. Your wife will take a while to adjust, and though it is difficult to hear her pleas, know that she is being well cared for, and that is the most important thing right now. ((((HUGS)))