We are so far away from Nature that we've forgotten what we are. Women whine that they are used in ads and made into sex objects, they have to wear make-up, preen, watch their weight, etc. Well, in the real world, we ARE sex ofjects, that's why we're here, to procreate. Men are programmed to look at us (and surprise, surprise, we look at them). Yes, men the world over have to control themselves otherwise no female would ever be safe. Or we could all wear burkas and hide ourselves so that men are not tempted. It goes w/out saying that our brains are different, our hormones, our bodies--what's the point if we're all the same. Where's the fun in that?
PS - I also believe in women's lib--don't put any barriers in my way, let me be me. But I never thought it was meant to escalate the sex wars, to find fault with and belittle men, and to feel that getting pregnant is part of being oppressed. I like men and I wish I'd known more about them when I married. I thought I did, but I was a bit mistaken. But, then, I don't think men know enough about us either.
I think the male who is young enough to still have sex without meds is like a female who hears the clock ticking till they will not be able to. I am in a marriage without sex because I really do not feel attracted to her anymore. Our relationship has changed and now I am her caregiver. She is not able to connect to me mentally and is too simple minded for me to feel attracted to her.
If it were not for my religous convictions I would be cheating on her I know. She has given me permission once she does not know who I am. I am 2yrs into this journey and I do not know if I will need the blue pills when this is over. It seems very frustrating to give up everything and take on the role of caregiver. I would like to have another relationship now, but my convictions will not allow that.
Moorsb. I am in the identical situation as you are, although my wife is still very attractive to me still..Yes she is very pretty. But when I even get close to her, I realize it is only 1 sided, and I know I am dealing with an 8 yr old mentality (or maybe 2 yr old). I can feel that she no longer understands that part of intimacy, and she does not respond to hugs or kisses. And also my integrity is very important to me and my convictions are also very strong, but if the opportunity ever arrives, I will overdose on the blue pills and lose my convictions and my clothes very quickly.
Phranque/moorsb, I agree with you both. I still find Kathryn to be attractive and would very much like to continue our sexual relationship. Problem is, when I think about it, I feel like I would be taking advantage of her (almost like having sex with a child) and I just can't do that. It doesn't change the fact that I love her. I still love her as much as ever. I am not sure what I would do if the opportunity presented itself to have a sexual relationship on the side and I hope it never does until after this is over for Kathryn.
The loneliest I have ever felt is when I am sitting in the living room watching TV with Kathryn.
Ugh, I will probably never again have a relationship. 1st marriage husband died at Western State (Mental) hospital. Had a breakdown 2 years into our marriage and 2 kids later...just kept having breakdowns. 2nd marriage 13 years to an abusive man. Married 3rd husband on the rebound and he decided he wanted to be married to one of my friends instead after 4 years; and finally have been married to husband #4 for 10 years. Two years into our marriage he was diagnosed with REM Disorder and things went downhill from there. MCI diagnosis in 5-08 and AD in 11-08. Things have just been a nightmare. So, no more men for me. For now, I will finish out my last 1 1/2 years until I retire and care for my dh as long as I can. I am committed to doing that. I am going to enjoy life as a single woman someday, enjoy my children and grandchildren and find good things to fill my life. It doesn't mean I won't have problems, but it's too scary for me to think of being in another relationship.