Moved this from the temp boards after finding this was up and running again.
Had a reality check today. Today was my nieces wedding. Art did not want to go -said because of the noise and commotion. I was not surprised, but my reaction caught me by surprise. I had to leave after the wedding - reality hit. This is the future if I want to go to gatherings - I will be going single. I have done it in the past but it was because it was not 'his thing'. I was holding the tears in just barely until the song came about together forever. I grabbed my little grandson to distract me. I had to leave after it was over - just hurt too much. And this is only the beginning.
I know my younger sister and DIL will want to know where I disappeared to and will have to deal with their questions. The last two days have been stressful - my sister we live with has been nasty to me. They say after a stroke there is a personality change and she has it - nasty and says hurtful things. All the talk and joking that she has Alzheimer - she might have talked herself into it. Maybe I will suggest she talk to her doctor about testing and see if she like that!!!
If I should share how I feel she will bring up that she would have gone as a single too. Difference is her husband died 3 years ago - mine is still alive. At least I would think by now there is a difference.
Oh Charlotte, it never gets any easier, I don't think. I now fear going out, so afraid I'll run into someone who does not know that I've lost Jim. I've got a nasty sister, I've finally accepted that she will never change, so I've thrown her off my bus. I'm trying to be in control and drive my own bus. That way I can choose who rides along with me. So I think, you should throw younger sister off your bus! Hang in there, S
I completely understand your feelings of loss during the church service and need to just get away. My DH stopped going to church last Aug and Christmas was hard and I'll be in the same boat again come Easter.
As to having to give a reason why you left? Who says you owe anyone an explanation for your departure. Just tell them your reason is private and let it go at that. I am learning not to let others pressure me into anything I don't want to do or say or explain. Why just today a friend who is running for sheriff came by and asked if we would put a political sign in our yard and DH said Yes and I said NO and I won!
My DIL came home and asked why I left. I told her I didn't want to talk about it now. Her question: did I do anything wrong? She is the type that likes to be the center of attention. Ug.
Tell her if she asks again that it has nothing to do with her and you don't wish to talk about it so please don't ask me again. If she does not get the hint the second time around then just be blunt and tell her everything that happens is not centered around her and to drop it. We are now in the great position that we no longer have to suffer fools of any kind or relationship.