How have some of you managed to keep working while caregiving and managing everything in a household? I am looking at daycare options but even that's going to be hard as it's not near by and it will be difficult to leave work on time to pick him up. Feeling very tired and that I am working for the health insurance.
I just got to the computer and saw your post from last night. I brought to the top some of the discussions on working and caregiving for you, then decided there were so many, I would just give you the link to the list:
DOG, yes it is not easy, but it is not any harder that it was to go to work and then take care of infants or toddlers. you just adjust your schedule and do it. I have not considered daycare b/c I feel I have more control while he is in our home. I have had seven a day week nursing staff when the need arose that was a nightmare. IF I ever have to do that again I will have nanny camera installed thru out the house, so that I can check and see what is really going on. I have recently gotten him a dog, a beagle/bassett hound mix and that has been a true blessing. He is no longer roaming he has a "baby" to see about. I know that the time will come when I will not be able to work away from the home unless I make some arrangement for him. But for now, I just count my blessings on good days and "clean up the mess" on not so good days. I am trying to save every penny I can for that "rainyday" when I can no longer work.
Hi Dog. I work full time, and up until now have left my DH at home. I have finally had to admit that he's not capable of taking care of himself, so he is starting daycare in a week. The facility we chose has a bus that will pick him up and drop him off. It isn't easy working with an Alz spouse, but I have been fortunate to have understanding bosses. My DH also has a dog (actually 2 of them) and he devotes most of his day to their care. They are extremely spoiled, but it does give him something to focus on. Hang in there, we're in the same boat. I'm also working for Health Insurance.
I also work full time. For sanity, pleasure, fulfillment and people to have conversations with - along with health insurance! <grin> I had my 20 year old grandson move in with me to be my daytime caregiver while I work. This has worked for me for two years. He is going to be moving on to college this summer, and I'm having to make other arrangements. Right now, it looks like it will be in-home health care for us.
There are several others who work and some use day care and some have in-home care. You need to see what suits your style and pocketbook better. Where I live, they are about the same rates, but my husband is not able to go to daycare because he is in the last stages. They won't take him. My other alternative is a nursing home, and I'm not ready to give him up yet...he's easy to take care of.
Thanks Shellseeker 50, Diane, Mary and Joang (for the posts)
I've added a couple of dogs too at home. (Hence my user name!) They have helped alot but I am getting more nervous.
I've had to put in many extra hours at work the last five months which hasn't helped the situation at home. I think I make just a little too much to get assistance but I may try and piece together a combo of things. Maybe someone coming in a couple of hours in the afternoon to check on him as he sleeps late anyway. Maybe day care a day or two also.
Hi. I work full time and my husband is now in a day program five days a week. He attends from 9:30 to about 3:00. He is "busy" all day and comes home tired. I take my "lunch hour" at various times because we transport him and use transportation costs saved towards hours in the day program. My parents, daughters and aunt all help with transportation every week. We have a dog my husband loves to care for, but that has all changed as he no longer walks the dog and it's probably best he stops. I purchased the Comfort Zone GPS so I can monitor his location via website for the few hours he is alone in the morning and before I get home from work. That has eased my mind a lot. I always know where he is, but not what he is doing. It is hard to stay focused at work some days.
My church group brings dinner once in awhile. Our neighbor has been mowing our yard. I don't say no to offers of help. That alone is very humbling.
Hi dog, I hope you can work this out....I couldn't. DH became disoriented and unable to safely drive to/from familiar places. I worked ft and traveled 25-50% per month out of state and although nothing seemed amiss when I returned home, I now know he could not care for himself. I ultimately had to quit work (even tho we have a ft live-in aide) to manage him.
I too was working full time when my husband was here. I was so exhausted and my work suffered. I was working and taking care of my husband. While I was at work, I hired someone two days a week to come in. My family helped the other 3 days. I was so exhausted that I took a 3 month leave of absence. During that time I still had someone come in 2 days a week to give me a break but I was still physically and emotionally exhausted. My husband is now placed in assisted living. I really haven't had a whole lot of time for me. I've been sick a lot since October and I'm just now trying to figure out what my life will be for me. My husband doesn't know me. Hospice was called in to help in the January time frame. Hindsight is always foresight. I wish I had used more day care.
Hi Dog... My wife is past doing anything for herself. We used to have a companion come in a few hours each day just to keep an eye on things. This past 6 months we had to upgrade to a nurses aide because Sharon has declined to the point where she needs to be taken to the bathroom and be hand fed most meals. My daughter is a senior in college and will be graduating this spring. She lives home and commutes to class so she is home to watch over her mom when I am at work. The aide comes in during the hours that my daughter is in school. That is 20ish hours a week at $24/hr. If it wasn't for my daughter I don't know what I would do because $50K+ a year for daycare would break the bank.
I work full time as a registered nurse. My husband has been able to stay at home while I am gone, but over the past several months alot has changed and I believe I will need to make arrangements at least for someone to come in part time to help. He is also visually impaired and has a guide dog that he has had for 8 years and I strongly feel that this dog and the bond he has with him has helped him, as caring for him has kept him focused and if they go for walks the dog knows how to get him back home even if my husband gives him confusing commands. The dog has begun having some health problems too and I dread the day that we have to retire him. I am thankful for the 4 legged caregiver that we have.
Welcome to my website. We have talked a lot here about the positive effects dogs have on dementia patients, but you are the first one whose spouse has a guide dog. What a fabulous companion for your husband. Dogs are now being trained specifically to work with dementia patients - although this article is old, it was the first time the issue was brought up - http://www.jewishmonmouth.org/page.aspx?id=50292
You have come to a place of comfort for spouses who are trying to cope with the Alzheimer's/dementia of their husband/wife. The issues we face in dealing with a spouse with this disease are so different from the issues faced by children and grandchildren caregivers. We discuss all of those issues here - loss of intimacy; social contact; conversation; anger; resentment; stress; and pain of living with the stranger that Alzheimer's Disease has put in place of our beloved spouse.
The message boards are only part of this website. Please be sure to log onto the home page - www.thealzheimerspouse.com - and read all of the resources on the left side. I recommend starting with "Newly Diagnosed/New Member" and "Understanding the Dementia Experience". There are 4 sections for EOAD members - two of which focus on the young teens whose parents have EOAD (early onset AD). There is a great new section on informative videos, and another excellent resource - Early Onset Dementia - A Practical Guide.
Do not miss the "previous blog" section. It is there you will find a huge array of topics with which you can relate. There is a new "search" feature on the home page that allows you to look up different topics that may have been explored in a previous blog. Log onto the home page daily for new blogs; news updates; important information.
If you feel comfortable doing so, you can tell us about yourself in the "Welcome New Members" thread that is at the top of this page.
Good luck, SandyRN, as you also consider making arrangements for part time help. (It sounds like alot of us have 4 legged caregivers who have been doing their part!)