I remember that carosi had a problem with her husband and cigarettes. Maybe someone has some ideas.
My husband has been through a bunch of obsessions but the one we are going through now is the one that will be the death of me. He has become obsessed with smoking. I've been lucky that he has been very agreeable to things I have asked him but now all he wants to do is smoke. I don't know if he forgets he had a cigarette or what.
He will smoke a cigarette and then 10 minutes later go to smoke another one. He had been down to a 1/2 pack a day but if left to his own devices he would smoke a whole pack in a couple of hours and start coughing.
I have started to hide the cigarettes and give him a few at a time up to a half a pack for the day. Well, today we went to see a movie and he left the cigarettes at home on his own since Illinois is a nonsmoking state anywhere indoors. He was fine until we stopped for an early dinner and then every 30 seconds or so he would say that he would have "one cigarette at home and be done for the day, Okay?" He did this over and over again through dinner and the ride home (I lost count of how many times he repeated it). I stopped saying okay after about the tenth time but was ready to scream like a crazy person at him that I KNOW !
A friend suggested I look into the electronic cigarettes that are available now. I supposedly would be able to get nicotine free fillers. Does anyone have any experience with these?
I had success just telling my wife that we both stopped smoking. She would, with a decreasing frequency, say that she really wanted a cigarette, I would say, "Remember that we quit". "oh". I continued to smoke by saying that I have to check something on the computer. I had a network camera set up in the hall so I could see her coming and a quick out snuffer in my second desk drawer, so I could put one out in less than a second. The four or five times that she actually caught me, she would scold me that we quit. I would tell her that I forgot. Ten minutes later, everybody had forgot. I was very thankful that this technique worked, because the house was definitely going to burn down sometime with her inattentive smoking.
I don't smoke and have never smoked so I can't say we quit. I tried the YOU quit thing but this is the one thing he says a firm NO to everytime even when the doctors bring it up. The constant asking for a cigarette is maddening.
Well, I assume you've been accustomed to him smoking over the years, so it doesn't drive you crazy to have a smoker in the house (it would, me!). So he's not going to die of lung cancer, he's most likely going to die of Alz. Carol had a problem because it cost so much money to buy the damn things. If you don't have that problem, if you can afford them, when don't you just be a little lenient with him and let him have them. And go around with all the windows open and wearing a mask to protect yourself! At least spring is coming! He will probably obsess for a month or two and then forget it!
UPDATE--DH is still smoke free. He also periodically will say, "I want a cigarette." It's been officially 6 months and 9 days. Over the years we had tried the gum, the patch, cold turkey. His PCP would not Rx Chantix because of the hazards to the vascular system and porential psych issues. His neuro-psytch Dr. said he would, but this was a one time trial. Even with the "helpful" interference of his sisters (supplying him while he went through the stress of quiting--go figure) he completed the program. He may have had one or two in the last six months--"friends" offering him one--but I don't know for sure. What I know is it was stressful to get him through it, but worth it. Today he said he wished he had a car so he could go to the store when he wanted. If it's not one thing it's another.
I agree with briegull. If you can stand it and can afford it, let him smoke. Maybe you could dole them out to him throughout the day and that would satisfy him?? Hard thing to quit smoking. I'm not familiar with the electronic ones. Good luck!
I really hate him smoking in the house. We have lived in our home for 20 years and he never smoked inside until this disease. I spray air freshener as soon as he finishes and he's only allowed to smoke in the far corner of our family room which we don't use very often since the kids are gone. That was always their room to have their friends over. When the warm weather comes back, he'll be going to the backyard. He used to smoke out on the driveway and pace back and forth from our driveway to the corner. All the neighbors knew he didn't smoke in the house and would stop to talk to him.
The amount of smoking doesn't bother me as much as the elaborate planning he goes through everyday. He will have a cigarette and then as soon as he's done tell me when he will have his next one. So for the next hour or so he will tell me every few minutes how he is going to have his next cigarette at ??o'clock! He's doing it now.
Deb...try to remember this too shall pass. Dementia is like Ohio weather. Don't like what it's doing right now? Wait a little while. It'll change. Good luck. cs
i think i'd try to interest him in candy or sweets instead til i could try to wean him off?? some type that can be put in mouth like a cigarette or candy cigs of chocolate? i believe its also paranoia creeping in and maybe a tweak of meds would help. remember jean's DH obsessing alot lately as well. its difficult to listen to the constant repetitivness so try distracting alot. i think this will pass too soon enough. some stages are worse for the caregiver! good luck. divvi
As for the electronic cigarettes, our best friends have them. They say they cost about the same as if you smoked regular cigarettes. You get the nicotine, but no tar and no smoky smell from them. The only thing the female of the couple told me is that you have to draw in really hard on them to get the effect. He might not like the fact that he really had to "work" to smoke them. My DH quit smoking (with Chantix) nearly two years ago - has gained 50 lbs. He talks about starting again about once a week because he thinks if he does, this 50 lbs. will just magically melt off him. I told him if he does start again, he will have to smoke outside when weather permits or in the attached garage when it doesn't.
divvi, My DH is still going on about contacting the woman on the second floor!!!! He mentioned it a little while ago when we came back from Sam's. I told him "NO" and to just forget about her. We will be going out for lunch in a little while so I hope that will take his mind off the woman at least for the rest of the day.
i remember DH being uncontrollably obsessive over zipping his jackets up to his neck. someone else mentioned this. it drove me mad. even in summer he wanted a light jacket and zipped to his neck. he looked like a snowboarder all winter-hah. and the shoes, omg couldnt take his shoes off for a minute and he was neurotic. slept with them for several years. i had to put small rugs under his legs so the shoes wouldnt be on the bed. just thinking of all that obsessivness makes me anxious. i feel for those of you going thru this part. if its any relief,it does pass eventually but can last a while. meds help to keep their minds from racing. hugs to all of you. divvi
What is it with shoes? When DH wakes up in the morning, all of a sudden he decides it's time to get up, usually too early. The first thing he does is to put on socks and shoes, before he even goes to the bathroom (which is en suite). Then he takes the shoes off again so he can put on his pants. There seems to be something driving him in the morning to get up and dressed, especially the shoes. Often he is dressed completely before I really have my eyes open. He will only wear the one pair of shoes and refuses to try any on in a store.
As I have read these posts over the past 2 years, the thing that has amazed me is that even though my husband now needs total care that he "gave up" everything that he couldn't do on his own. Never a heavy drinker, I noticed early in the journey that he didn't have a beer with me like he used to. I figured that maybe he thought that the alcohol was confusing him. I told him in the beginning that I would tell him when it was time to stop driving but in the meantime if there was ever a time he didn't want to drive, just go to the passenger side (he couldn't speak long before he showed other symptoms). He just gradually went to the passenger side more and more until he stopped driving. When he could no longer flick his bic because his hands wouldn't obey his brains commands, he would take a cigarette from the pack and I would light it for him. He cut way back. When it became hard too hold them with breaking them, he cut back father. After a couple of times of almost getting the wrong end in him mouth (I always watched him closely and would not have allowed that to happen), he quit entirely on his own. This from a man who can not walk, talk, control his bladder and bowels, but knew that he needed to stop drinking, quit driving and stop smoking. Go figure.
My dh has worn gloves all winter, daily, all day. Inside and out. He even plays his computer games with them on. Says his hands are cold. He's very obsessive anyway, so I'm wondering if this is an obsession and something he does even if sometimes his hands aren't cold?
Hanging On, at least it was winter. My DH wore heavy clothing, winter pants, gloves and hats all SUMMER long! Couldn't stand the a/c, no overhead fans. I almost roasted all summer. When cooler weather came in the fall, he stopped that and wore more appropriate clothing. This winter he dressed as he should and didn't seem to mind the very cold weather at all! Now that it's getting a little warmer, I have noticed he will put on a heavier jacket to take the dog out! I do hope this doesn't repeat this summer! Their thermostats just get out of whack.
You're not kidding about the thermostats being out of whack, Vickie. My DH edges the thermostat up all day (he likes it about 78!), with me turning it down behind his back. Then at night when we turn it down to 68 before we go to bed, he sleeps on top of the cover like 68 is too warm.
We went through the turning the heat up and wearing winter jackets and gloves all the time phase. It does eventually stop. His had just about stopped right before I placed him. I could not believe the difference in my heating bills after I placed him and was able to keep the temperature a lot lower.
We have a newer thermostat that you can lock.Maybe you do too.Be sure to check book of instructions.I was surprised when I found out you can "fix it" WOW!!