Oh Nora, I just read that your beloved Dennis has passed on. Feel my arms around you. We lost both our cats, Fred and Bam Bam in the spring of 09 and then lost our loveable mutt Holly in the summer.
Mary you are so right about it being tougher to lose a pet when we are also losing our spouses.
We now have the "twins" Peanut Butter and his litter mate, Jelly. They keep us entertained with all the mischief they manage to get into. We also have Autumn our Chow/Dachshund mix, who it seems cannot get enough love or attention.
Nora, give yourself a bit of time and then maybe it will be time for some brothers or sisters for little Gracie.
Tonight starts our Passover holiday-with a big and traditional meal. As usual I have no idea how many folks will show up as I always invite "strays". This is a night no one should be alone. Lots of work-but lots of joy. Sadly my dear husband is not aware of any of it. In past years I brought special goodies to him, but last year the staff enjoyed them as he is so totally unaware of what is going on. I hate this disease!
Still another rainy, cold day here. I've been sick this past week with a really bad head/chest cold. I have to say, DH has been so good! He was forever asking if there was anything he could get me or that he could do for me. Of course, he couldn't do a lot, but he wanted to try. And he didn't ask me to do a lot for him either, so that was good. I think I'm about back to the land of the living - whatever that is!
Good news also: My son who is awaiting pancreas and kidney transplants, has finally sold his house in Ft. Lauderdale! After 3 years!! Will be downsizing but staying in that area because of his insurance and stuff is all in place. Such a load off my mind!
I think there's a full moon now. Hope it goes well for all of you.
March isgoing out like a lion for me. After getting care fopr DH set for the day (if needed), I went by Ambulance to the ER. I thought nI'd popped a hernia. Not a hernia---unusual location in abdomen, but could have been. Good I weent. Just tore a muscle. Has to heal itself. Rx for pain. Take it easy. Use hand or small pillow to brace the area. May take a couple of weeks.
How do I brace the area with a hand or pillow and walk with crutches?
Bluedaze- Thank you for the wonderful invitation!! I hope I can make it. You did say "As usual I have no idea how many folks will show up as I always invite "strays". Strays must include me, I'm sure, so if possible, I will be there. Thank you for thinking of me!!!!
You're all so totally AWEsome. Me, I'm screwed. To the WALL! First, I found out today that my insurance payout for physical therapy has all but run out. I need to continue so I can gain more use of my arm. Then, in two months, there will be further surgery and a need for more pt. My insurance pays a certain amount PER YEAR, not per incident....and a doctor's appeal doesn't carry any weight. I PAY ALMOST $600 A FREAKING MONTH for my healthcare coverage!!!
Next, housemate FINALLY came back home, bearing MORE stuff to cram in her room (and it all smells like a wet ashtray). Let her know very kindly that I was closing up the house to visit my parents for a while....don't know how long. Told her to leave by Saturday. She smiled, said "fine" and left. But, before driving away, she opened her truck door and poured a can of yellow paint into the gravel behind my vehicle and I watched as she got a shovel and piled gravel over the mess. What was THAT about??? Guess I was suppossed to run over it and mess up my SUV, trail it into the garage. Wierd. So, ME? I guess you could say I'm "F.I.N.E." today, as in the definition on another thread. Have a nice day!! (feels good to vent here instead of doing something that would land me in jail)
There are so many of us with spouses (spice) at different stages, going through many different problems, all of them very hard on us emotionally. If we didn't have each other to talk to, our family here who understands us as no one else can, we would be lost. Whether we need to vent, yell, scream, ask for help or advice, or just tell what the weather is like where we are so that others will know we're here and surviving, this family matters more right now to most of us than anything else.
Every time our spice take another step backwards towards infancy, we grieve a little more. During the last few weeks my husband has lost the ability to feed himself except on a rare occaion. And he is getting weaker, though can still put one foot in front of the other if you help him to stand up. He's such a doll to take care of, but it is physically wearing on me. I am so grateful for my five days of Hospice respite a month. It helps me cope with the other 25 days.
I love the humor we all share, the advice we all give, the venting we all do, and the stories of our animals we have (or have lost) that mean/meant so much to us.
Mary...today, I'm a whiner. Complaining, self-deprecating, negative, you name it. I share your sentiments about this board. Sometimes I just have nothing to offer others that are suffering more than I am, loosing beloved companion animals. Rather numb and angry lately. I too, feel part of this big family. I dont know what I'd do with you all to moan at, to laugh with, to scream at (some have even screamed back!!). I am sorry for those of you that have lost loved ones lately, lost pets.....and I've said nothing. I see worlds crumbling all around. For some reason, God lets us live. I'd like to think its because there are more and better plans for us in a future much brighter than today. Or....maybe The Devine just has a sense of strange humor? Anyhow, I'll roll with it for another day.
Our canopy did not work out. Last night right after turning the TV off at 1am the winds picked up. Due to the rain starting the day after we set it up we had only gotten a few ropes on it to tie it down. the ground was too soft for the stakes to hold. The wind was gusting up to 40mph. I laid there until 3am when I saw the legs come up 2 feet woke Art up. We could barely hold it down. Art 4 I went in and got my brother to come help us. Art 5 we got my son. We quickly unhooked the Motorhome, I moved stuff inside so the slides could come in, Art pulled it out and in a half hour we had the screws out of the lower set of legs and took them off. We then unhooked the canopy and removed it. We left the frame sitting there, the MH in the driveway and went to bed at 6am. It took me an hour to warm up. I had just gotten to sleep when my son called at 9:30 (he thought he saw me online). didn't get much sleep. The whole thing was so hard on Art - he looked more like 90 than 62 trying function on just 4 hours sleep when he is use to 10. He couldn't remember what we were doing - it was heartbreaking. Today my son came home from school and had the rest of the canopy apart and moved so we could back the MH in and set it back up. Again, hb was so tired he had a hard time remembering what he had to do to set the MH back up (hooking up stuff). Our son was being a big help - something he hasn't in the past.
Praise note - the rain held off until we were almost finished getting it down. But between the wind and the rain we both were cold. They all went in and took hot showers, my brother made some hot granola, but we didn't have that luxury so we cuddled in the blankets. I guess I could have turned the furnace up above 60! Today was showers but this evening has been rain, rain, rain. Now we will have to see if there is a way we can make the canopy work which will involve cementing the legs into the ground or forget it altogether. Time will tell. Right now I am off to bed. My body aches from lack of sleep.
Hey, Mary....How about adding shingles to the mix. Haven't posted much lately. I took DH to a Geropsych unit to have his meds evaluated. I was hoping they could give him something to help the delusions. He was there 2 weeks and they took him off Depakote and Nortriptyline and put him on Zyprexa and Trazadone. He came home weaker, peeing constantly, more confused and generally in bad shape. Fell out of bed twice and had to call 911 for help. He was up several nights pulling all his clothes off and stripping the bed and into other things. It was almost like he was in a trance and it was very difficult to get him back to bed. I called the Gero Dr. and ask if he could go back on his other meds and he said bring him back or take him to ER. He was checked out in ER and our family doctor said take him off the new meds and go back to Nortriptyline. He said it was the Zyprexa that was causing the constant peeing. It has taken about 3 weeks to get him back to the new normal and then he broke out with shingles behind his ear, on the right cheek, the shoulder and down on his chest. I was told by the Phych center and my Doctor to put him in the nursing home but I'm still keeping him home as long as I can. That being said, there were 2 nights that I felt like putting his fanny in the car and taking him to the NH and leave him on the steps and ringing the bell and running like hell. Halo slipped again. Hows that for venting?
Just when you think you have it bad, someone like Bama shows you that you have it easy by comparison......
Bama, I am so sorry you had to go through that and that your husband had to go through that!!!! I don't blame you for not going back to them!!!! Honestly, each AD patient reacts totally different to different medications and no doctor can predict how any of them will react, but your husband's reactions were awful!!!!
I don't blame you at all for wanting to take him. And how are you keeping him from scratching himself raw????? Oh, my! My sympathies for both of you!
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On my front,
My husband's phlegm is increasing and it's causing him to cough and he's not strong enough to cough it all up. This in the last 20 hours....so I'm calling the Hospice nurse.
Plus, Sandy the lab, is laying around and hasn't been eating this week. A little here and there, but not enough. He's finished a week on both antibiotics and allergy medications and nothing has helped. I'm afraid I'm going to lose him too.
Bama, keep us posted on how your hubby is doing and how you are doing!!!
Sometimes it seems everything we love is being taken away from us. I just gets harder and harder. Mary-sorry for more problems sitting on your not too broad shoulders.
High drama here, Bama, Charlotte and Jen. Life here is much quieter, with DH off to day care but about to come back any moment. My case manager was here this morning and I had her check with the day care attendants to see how he's really doing -- afraid therey weren't telling me the truth. But she called to say that he is doing really well: very friendly and cooperative. Amazing since at home he never has anything good to say about it.
Oh dear friends. hang onnnnn.. Shingles are awful.. I hope the new medications can help. Charlotte, I'm amazed at your strength litterallyyyy.. I can't handle the little awning that came on my Casita. It looks like a little white twinkie. I'd love to go bobbling off to a park somewhere but can't undo the awning without help. Hope things are calmer for you now. Stuntgirl..oh mercy..maybe that paint is the last you'll have to endure with that situation.. Gosh.. Bluedaze, I hope your Passover celebration was good..strays included. That is so neat. We're finishing March here too. Continually thankful for you all, just so you know.
I know several people who have had unbelievably good results from Acupucture for Shingles. It stops it in its tracks, reduces the pain and clears it up in a matter of days!
Carosi, With regard to healing that abdominal wall muscle pull..I had the same thing happen to me when I tried to move my dad in his wheel chair..both sides! The left side managed to heal ok.On the right side I have thought hernia too and have had all the tests, CAT scan, ultrasound, colonoscopy..no evidence of hernia and was given the same dx. Be aware that, as I was told anyway, it takes time for that to heal as the abdominal muscles never really rest and that is what is necessary. In my case, there are times when the pull happens again. I call it the OBP ( odd belly pain). I do move around and by the end of the day things feel fine for the most part again. However I do not lift anything heavy at that point, I try to rest the muscles by doing more quiet things. I have gone on easy walks too that have helped.I was told it was my oblique muscle that was injured. Good luck and by all means while you are in the healing process see if you can get someone to help you with your tasks..
Bama, I had shingles about 8 years ago. I figured out what it was from the internet and call the Dr office and told them what I had. I saw him and he said I hope you don't have shingles. I did have them got Valtrex and that helped a lot. The pain was severe, but my duration was shortened due to the medicine. I hope your DH was diagnosed in time for the medication.
Thanks Mimi. ER Dr. says it's a tear and will heal itself. Sitting quietly doing stuff is fine. Getting up even works okay. Taking meds to quell coughing (caused it). Biggest issue is that I wear full length leg braces and use crutches to walk. Even so, my gait is irregular and no matter how careful I am that unevenness can set it off on another "grab". If there's any way to "brace" the area while moving around (only when I must, believe me) I haven't been able to figure it out. I'm just glad it's only this. Could have been the hernia I thought it was. That would have meant surgery. Been there/done that/ And have the scar.
Family: I was reading Susan's post on Facebook about the cortisone shots helping her knees so much. I got so excited that I wanted to share with dh. But then I remembered he doesn't know who she is. She belongs to this family - not 'our' family or people we know here. It was a weird feeling and sad that the great news would mean nothing to him.
Today is still rain, wind and cold. Thursday is suppose to have some sunshine so we can try to dry the canopy out to fold the cover and put the framework away until I decide what next step is.
Hb was so exhausted he slept until 1pm when our son called to find out when the Boston hockey game is on and woke him up. He keeps looking at the mess outside talking about cleaning it help and I keep saying 'when the sun comes out'. We are having our winter - rain here and the mountains had about 3 feet of new snow over the weekend.
Hey, my Mom had the shingles about six years ago and her pain has never gone away. It's terrible. I can't hug my mom. My dad can't make love (or loving gestures at least.....they're both in their 80's) to his wife. What a horror. Mom has had all kinds of treatments, even an electical stimulant implant along her spinal cord. Her advice to me.....get that shot that is suppossed to keep you from GETTING the shingles. If you've ever had chicken pox, apparently, you are already IN LINE for the shingles. It's a horrible affliction. DON'T take it lightly. Some people suffer from it FOREVER after it's onset. PLEASE take my advice SERIOUSLY. My insurance (and I have a great policy) didn't cover the cost. Almost $200. But, with all the other health issues I already deal with, and pain, it was worth it to know I wouldn't have to face a bout of Shingles that may never go away. DON'T DO SHINGLES if unnecessary!!