Here is a breif overview of my situation. DH is in mid stages of AD. FTD. 82 yr old and I am 73 carring for him at home.
Should I get Social Services (through DH neuro) involved in my DH care re: Medicaide nursing home later on? Will doing so cause the State of Texas to get involved in my financial affairs and muddy up the waters for my DH care later?
Things have gotten real complicated in the last 5 months. My family consists of 2 sons. 1. Youngest Son and his family have abandonded me. Want nothing to do with us. 2. DH and I have both been sick with bronchitis and under Dr. care - once in Jan. and again in Feb. 3. Oldest Son, his wife and her granddaughter, have had to move in with us as he lost his job the first of January. This was a God-Send as they were able to take care of me and DH throught the illnesses. 4. Son's wife is guardian of her granddaughter as her Son was in Navy and has custody. Someone had to care for the child while he was in service. She has been cared for by my Son and his wife for 8 years. She is now 8 yrs old and enroled in school here in my town. 5. In order for the child to receive free lunches at school they need to know how much money DH & I make {as everyone lives in my house} . School also wants a rental agreement to show proof of residency to attend school. 6. Son and wife can aplpy for food stamps but there again it involves them living with me and having to share my income info????
My question is SHOULD I GET our Social Security Income involved in the childs legal affairs. Could this create a boondoggle for my DH being elegible for Medicaid down the road?
I hope this is not too confusing for you all to understand. There are just too many variables here for me to fully grasp the situation without some help.
Sweet Pea, I'm sure someone will come along soon to help with this. I'd think that only your son's finances need to be considered for the free lunch or food stamps etc. They are living with you right now but this is temporary (?). It would seem that all the school needs is for you to verify that they are staying at a residence that is located in the school district so that granddaughter qualifies for the lunch program. If they don't pay rent, but receive mail at your residence..perhaps the school will accept a note from you along with a piece of mail (bill) addressed to your son at your address. I do know a bit about schools here in Texas but probably not enough to help more.
Judy; I have furnished a note to the school telling them that family is living with me and yes this is to qualify them into the school district. I'm like you. Son is unemployed and homeless. I would think his employment record should suffice. I really hesitate to get entangled with the State re; food stamps etc.
My situation and theirs should be kept separate even though we reside in the same house.
Guess I could draw a line through the middle of the house and give a different address for each half! [ha]
sweet Pea....I wish I could help you. The laws here in virginia are probably different than where you are. But, even here, with an Elder Law attorney to hold my hand and walk me through everything, it's all VERY confusing, especially when it comes time for qualifying for Medicaid, getting student loans, etc. You're lucky to have your son and his family to be with you. Jen
Sweet Pea, this is much too confusing for you to work out on your own with everything else you have on your plate. You need to contact an Elder Law Attorney ASAP.
Sweet Pea, Marsh is absolutely correct, see an Elder Law attorney right now. In the meantime I would just pay for the school lunches, my very best friend is the quality control person over the food stamp program here in our town and YES your income is counted to see if they qualify. My best guess will be that the children will not even qualify for free lunch if you have anytime much at all yourself. Keep your funds out of this school lunch mess.
Dear All: After sleeping on this situation I have decided to just be gratefull for the help of my Son and Daughter-in-Law. I had prayed for Gods Will to be done and this is aparrently his Will. It not only helps me and my DH but the kids as well. I will spend our $$'s as needed while keeping records of the expenditures for them and us separately. Surely this will justify any records needed for dollors spent on everyone's care. I realize I am the sole caregiver of all concerned so will step up to the plate. I can relax in knowing I have help with the physical chores. This was a great concern to me as the house needed repairs etc. My Son is quite a handyman and the place looks better already. He has a promiss of a temporary job in a couple weeks so keep him in your prayers. I pray this all turns out for the best to all concerned. I'm still debating as to whether to talk to the Neuro Social Worker about this living arangement. She and the Dr. had suggested I needed respite help. Living in a small town doesn't offer much in the way of services like a big city does. Thanks Sweet Pea
Sweet Pea just reading your post I can see how loving and compassionate you are for your family and husband. Take this one step at a time and pray. My faith is what gets me through the hard times. It is great that your son and his wife are helping you out. It is great when family pull together and help each other. I will be praying for all of you and hope that things do get easier.
Sweet Pea - when my son who rents an apartment from my sister applied for food stamps and medical, she just wrote a letter stating what the rent was to be. They actually have not been paying it but they do pay a portion of the utilities. She knew how much they were before they moved in, so they pay the difference. The state wanted to include our income since we live here too, but we told them our living quarters are totally separate even though we are parked next to the house. They never pushed the issue.
What you can do is specify an amount they are being charged for rent - they don't ask if they pay it, just what is it as far as I know - and he can work it off. When it comes to your finances concerning SS, if you don't receive anything there is nothing to claim.
Sweetpea, I keep saying to myself stop posting about Medicaid then a post comes along that compels me to do so. What Charlotte is suggesting is fine if you do not feel you will ever have to apply for Medicaid for your DH, but as you posted in your first question to us you wondered if some of this could muddy the waters if you have to apply. If you try to show you are collecting rent, then of course this would be counted as income to you if you apply for Medicaid, they would most likely have those records because you have to give the name of the person you are paying rent to when you apply for the SS. Keep this as clean as you can in the event you have to apply for your husband later on.
For what is is worth, I am no expert, but I would keep the Neuro Social worker out of the picture. It is your life, you son and his family helping you is a great respite for you. Make your own decisions here and do not let anyone push you into a Social Worker until you feel the need yourself.
I have heard that some in order to qualify for medicaid have sold assets and gotten a safety deposit box at the bank to keep valuables in a safe location.
Jane: Thanks for your suggestion. I do feel I will need to apply for Medicaid sometime down the road so I do not want to agree to receiving rent as this would be Income to us. I agree with you on the Social Worker. Her concern was for me to have respite. This has happened in the form of Son and his wife. "Problem solved"
Charlotte: Rent/food stamps/etc. Since we all share one house (sharred kitchen) all are counted. Therefore I will not go that route with the kids.
The kids are in the process of getting a PO Box at the Post Office.
moorsb, Don't ever go that route. To sale assets and then put them in a safe deposit box is fraud if you apply for Medicaid and withhold that information. you are asked the question upon application if you have any CASH anywhere.
Jane, I'm glad you're able to disregard your impulse not to post re: Medicaid. You are such a great source of information, and it's good of you to share your knowledge.
Jane, You are our rock. You have been so helpful to me. We know you give us an honest answer when we ask and that you stress that it is important to talk to an eldercare attorney. It helps me to know what questions to ask and that is most helpful. Virtual Roses to you....♥