Carolyn, thanks for giving me a snapshot of how my life could be someday. It is exactly what I am hoping for and I will try to remember it when things get tough. Right now I can't even intertain the idea of placing him. He is still very much aware of who I am and constantly asks me where he's going or are we going home. Once he said "Don't put me out" and it broke my heart to see the tears in his eyes. But when he said "Don't put me on the curb" I had to laugh. We both did, and that felt good for a change!
This is for RKL from another Christian's perspective. There is no email address listed for her, so please allow me to post this.
RKL you say "I still want to believe God for his strength". I know how you feel, but you must remember God gave us medical doctors and the scientist who figured out the drugs. Yes, there is often an abuse of drugs, with anti-depressants being one. But, in our case with the stress emotionally and physically we go thru, God has provided modern medicine as an aid. Back in the 80s I was depressed and went on them. I too had to struggle with 'why trusting God for strength wasn't enough'. I found it is not a sign of 'lack of faith' to take something that you need and may be the answer between sanity and insanity. One of the causes of depression is an chemical imbalance in the brain and that is where the drugs help to balance it out. So please reconsider and pray about it. I am certain God will not condemn you for using something he made available for man to discover.
If you don't want to take a prescription anti-depressant, then try Serenity Formula. Someone else recommended on this site and I tried it and have been using it. It has helped. It is natural supplements, not drugs.