This forum, Joan and all who participate have provided a flood of insight and important information on how to handle this disease and what to expect, with hands on experience, as the disease progresses. Most through trial and error unfortunately......
I read like many others preparing for what is to come..... Till now things have been, not fun or easy by no means but manageable... I could not compare my bad times to some of the incredible stories I've read here. Like everyone else, you pray this is the worst now and I can manage......
Tom is turning 53 on March 1st......He was diagnosed with EOAD in 2006..... like many, my best friend......He is only on Aricept as he refuses to "take any more pills" I have the Namenda sitting here waiting for him.......
The aricept brought about obvious results and in the past year I have watched him decline to where he was without it.... (mostly memory) That made him question if he really had that or was it something else hence not taking the namenda...... his words.... " I know there is something wrong but I kept telling myself that it wasn't Alzheimer's, that's why I didn't want to take the pill."
Tom has developed an OBSESSION ....... it's comparable to Joan & Sid and the driving issue. That describes it to a T with out going into another chapter. The situation escalated to a point where I became afraid for my safety....
I ended up calling in my daughter whom he respects and adores and who watches my back........ And I called in his sister & husband who also watches my back......
After about three hours of Alz,....trying to hide and fool them till they were gone I pushed him into the open and wore him down till Tom came back.........
The OBSESSION is still there.... ready to flare up again......but my troops are trying to help me put it to rest.... I KNOW he needs DRUGS ......he's been on 200 zoloft for years ........ but he won't see a doctor.
This morning upon waking Tom said...... Mom, I'm sorry..... I was mean and said terrible things to you and I know you don't deserve it but I got so mad and I couldn't make it stop.... I don't know why. I know how much you love me and I know how much I love you but it just didn't matter ........... " Than he added he hasn't been sleeping and he's so tired .............
THAN he started to bring up THAT SUBJECT again and I said...... let's not do that again.... you get some rest and maybe you'll feel better. He agreed and dropped it. He also has been getting really bad headaches when he stresses over something.........
I don't know if this info will help anyone...... but I know with out the knowledge I've gathered from here I would not have known what was going on and it could have turned out bad. I was always ready to call 911 if I had too......
Thank You! I cried last night, I don't cry, but it hurt so bad to see this disease turn this wonder man into a monster..... If I had not been prepared?????
My heart goes out to you Cindy. My husband also has EOAD. He is no longer on Namenda or Aricept but he is on other anti-psycotic drugs to help manage him. He is now in assisted living and I'm getting healthier. I know that sounds funny but we all relate. I was warn down and exhausted. This disease causes you to constantly grieve. You have so many losses. You lose the ability to talk with your spouse. You lose the intimacy. You lose your best friend. You lose your time. You lose friends. The list goes on. You need to make sure you are taking care of yourself and that you are safe. I have no idea what your financial situation is nor how far along your husband is but you may want to look into day care or other alternatives. i will keep you in my prayers. My husband is now happy in his own little world and doesn't know what he can't remember. Those who survive are the ones who have the loses.
cynfany if you are fearing for your safety you might want to call 911 and advice them of your situation. If the need arises they will be more aware of what is going on and handle your husband in a better way. Also-when I had to call them my husband was able to convince the police that it was a domestic squabble and they left. I was so frightened I spent the night with a neighbor. She and I laugh about it now-but having to call my kids in the middle of the night at the time was beyond my wildest dreams. Some how-with help we do get through this.
Cindy, I agree with folly* Can you crush the medication & hide it in Pudding, Yogurt or sweet applesauce, in the morning my husband eats toast with jelly, I spread the peanut butter, then the crushed medication with jelly on top. If I didn't crush his medication...he would never take it.
Cynfany, its been a good while since you posted. so glad to see you again. how dreadful you find yourself in the hellish nightmares we so often speak of here. like you say we hope it doesnt happen to 'us' but unfortunately its the nature of the beast. please do be prepared for another outburst. it usually does not go away without medical intervention-ie antipsychotic meds. if you are indeed frightened and cant opt for committing him by force by calling 911, then maybe speaking to his dr privately on how to handle it to protect yourself, if it were me, i'd be putting it in his food without his knowledge. its not deciet we use what we can to get thru this and keep them safe. good luck, divvi
Not knowing a year ago, how my husband would progress, I too went to the local law enforcement officers and informed them of his dx. Luckilly the only time we needed them was when I threw my back out and the paramedics handled him as gently as they did me.
Cynfany, it sounds like it might be time for some good old Seroquel for your husband. It does a wonderful job of stablizing their moods. There are many posts here about the benefits. Check it out. Meanwhile, a whatever cost Stay Safe. You are in my prayers, Arms around, Susan
Cynfany, what you describe is similar to what went on here just a few months ago. DH is now on zyprexa and it has helped tremendously. Don't be afraid of these antipsychotic drugs. They can be a lifesaver for both the AD person AND the caregiver. You might have to experiment to find the right one but it will be well worth the effort. So sorry for the pain you are both going through.
Thanks to all you great people.... I talked to the sheriff in our small town... he remembered my husband from growing up years.... He said he would enter the info into the county records so if Toms name was run they would be alerted to his condition.
Thanks again to all of you......... I got POA when Tom was in a good place......He put my #2 daughter on it too...... Active immediately..... Thanks to that and a circle of people looking out for me...there is a prescription for an anti-psychotic (I'm not sure which one) at my sisters who lives only 4 miles from me....... I live a ways from town in the woods. (I have NO PROBLEM slipping it in his food if I have too.)
Tom is around stage 4 I'd guess..... This episode scared him too ... that's what he told his sister that was here that night. Finally tonight he is "himself" I KNOW it will happen again. Especially if I don't defuse the issue. My people are on it. I also know the same can happen over something else.
I feel so alone most of the time and I was shocked at how one phone call reached so many people who were all there for me.....
Anyway Tom is too aware for me to get any resprite. We live in the woods...he hates people.....family would gladly stay with him but he won't have it. He gets scared to death when I am away from him... The fear of something happening to me... You all know the story.......
Thank You all .... because of all of you I was on top the game... but I have to admit.... I just wanted to RUN!!!!!!!!!
I just wanted to update.... I live in a small town... We have a family Doctor and there is a Psychiatrist in town who does all the meds for dementia patients.....Specialists come here to our facility but I don't think a neurologist is in that list of Doctors.... The one Tom seen when he was diagnosed, we went out of town to see.
I do not travel with Tom unless it was an emergency and someone else drives. Let's just say it is not a pleasant ride. Because he likes just being here in the woods, at home..... I leave it alone and try to work around things. He easily gave me and my daughter POA so he didn't have to interact with people. We can do it for him
We see people out here like loggers, foresters, border patrol, game wardens , hunters and just people that want to go for a ride in the woods. He's comfortable with these people and thats good enough for him.
Anyway..... my kids grabbed the ball from me, so to speak, went through all the channels using the POA and the next thing I know I have risperdal in my possession that same night. Prescribed for Tom specifically.
I wrote a plea for help to the people that have alz. on that other forum and their response got Tom to take it. He slept like a baby last night... felt at peace this am.... has had a great day. (he hadn't slept in days)
He looks great, has been playing with his dogs today and at noon when we were eating lunch he said.... "it seems so peaceful and quiet in here." I said...It's the same in here but I have a feeling the peace and quiet is in your head. You must have been going through hell in there." He said "you have no idea"
Thank you all again......I come here often for validation and I share your pain but I laugh with you too.....
The people on the other sight are still trying to help me get Tom to take the namenda. Today ... all is well!
good to hear a positive update cynfany!! keep giving him the meds please. it needs to build up to make it lasting. let us know how its going when you can! and dont forget meds need tweaking occasionally after time as they tend to wear down the effectiveness:) divvi