In April it will be a year since we started having aides come in to our home to help me with DH. Last summer, I started requesting weekend coverage, but there have been a number of times when the assigned person couldn't make it and the agency was unable to find a replacement. Granted, they were usually last minute cancellations, but I wonder if this tends to always be the case. I would think that the pool of people who are willing to work weekends is smaller to begin with, so consequently, there is more of a chance that no one will be able to provide coverage. It's not such a big deal now, but in the future, if I succeed in keeping my husband at home in the later stages, it could be a big problem. Has anyone else had experience with this?
marilyninMD, I am sorry that you are facing this problem with in home help with a care agency. I dread the day I face this decision based on my experiences with this during my mom's battle with AD and later my dad's declining years. I would fly to TX to be with them and especially during the holidays, people would just not show up particularly the night time people. If it were not for my DH to help I would not have managed the two of them alone. It was Mr. Toad's Wild Ride! Holidays and weekends are bad. There were other things that happened in our specific case because we required 24 hours care for them as they were in their own home. The problems my mom had would not have provided my folks to move to an assisted living arrangement many retired folks who need help can find so they remained at home. There are things that I won't go into here unless someone asks directly. While I don't want to poison the well, let's just say I have a very strong distrust of anyone in my home and if that comes to pass, you can be sure safes will be locked and doors to unnecessary rooms locked as well. My experience was worse than people just not showing up.
marilyn maybe a good idea to have 2 agencies on 'call'. and divide days among the two of them if you need several days/wk. that way you have a backup to call just incase. many do not work weekends due to family. m-f doenst seem much of a problem like the weekends. i havent used weekends but i hear many of the caregivers complaining about sat-sun duties. divvi
Marilyn, divi's suggestion to use 2 agencies is a good one. We have a 24 hr live-in for DH and have had a generally good experience with him. He takes 5-7 days vacation every 6-8 weeks. Our problem is being able to get a consistent substitute aide to come when he goes on vacation. To have an aide DH doesn't know come live with us for 5-7 days and then leave concerns me, so when the aide is on vacation, I go without. If anyone has a good suggestion regarding how I would find a part-time aide willing to live-in every 6-8 weeks I'm all ears. The two agencies we use have both told me that they are unable to meet my request because aides want ft not pt work.
Good idea on 2 agencies. My concern is mostly for the future--right now I can handle the weekend with no problem. But if I want to keep my husband out of a facility as long as possible, sooner or later weekend coverage will be a must. At this point I am splitting the days between daycare and an aide; I think the challenge will come when daycare isn't appropriate anymore.
Mimi--we've had discussions on other threads about the need for security if you're letting help come into the home. It's a sad fact, but you have to lock up "everything that's not nailed down". I've locked up the normal stuff of value, plus anything that could be used for identify theft, even my good china and crystal. It's a real pain in the neck living this way, but it's a must.
LFL--I don't think I could stand having a live-in. Lots of help would be great, but I just don't think I could adjust. How did you do it?
Marilyn, I had no choice really. When they were discharging him from psych hospital I was offered 2 options by the psychiatrist - placement in a dementia care facility or 24/7 home health care aide with experience in handling patients with dementia. I chose the latter because DH was very aggitated in an institutional setting, often hit patients, paced uncontrollably, etc. It has worked out for DH - he is calm, no behavior problems and I think he has retained more of his memory because he gets personalized care. The adjustment to having a stranger in the house is difficult; I feel like my space has been invaded and that we are never alone. Additionally although the aide is very helpful, he also does things his way and thinks he knows more than I do about dementia. I remind myself that having DH home with me is worth the "home invasion". I have the aide through a certified home health care agency and they insure him for workers comp, he's bonded, etc which has given me some peace of mind on some of the security issues.