What I wanted to say above (but got sidetracked) is that I'm really sorry I didn't look around better before sending him to the first day care. I was too quick to take the advice of a care consultant whose reasons for choosing that place (she said there was a group of younger men there) didn't even turn out to be true. I guess I was in such a hurry, or just so relieved at the solution that was on offer that I didn't even look around at different places. I just didn't know the ropes, or take the trouble to get to know them.
Of course there's a catch-22 here. I didn't have much opportunity to go around looking at daycare places until after he was in day care!
Jeanette--I did the same thing. I intially sent DH to the closest daycare, not realizing there were huge differences between programs. Then I switched him to another, still in the area. After he was dismissed from that one, I knew more about how to choose a daycare and went out of the immediate area. Of course, now I have to provide transportation, so I cut back from 5 days to 2 and hired an in-home aide for the other days.
Live and learn and stop beating ourselves up when we feel we made the wrong choice. We make the best choice we can at the time under the circumstances at the time.