I guess my DH has started to lose his long term memory. Yesterday he asked when he retired from the Air Force (1973) and then when he retired from Civil Service (1990). He used to know all this by heart but I wonder what brought it up at this time. I think AD patients must sit and mull things over in their mind and latch on to something that bothers them. I wonder what will be next. Short term memory is about gone completely so there are no big conversations about anything of interest. It was really windy and cold here yesterday and I wondered what happened to global warming. He didn't know what I meant!
My DH has no memory-short or long. He refers to going and getting the cows(he grew up on a farm). Does ask me if I know what happened to "that guy" and can't recall second by second what I tell him or what he says. The other day we had a woman here measuring for a new carpet. My DH walked down the hall where she was and patted her on the butt. This is something of course that would have mortified him in the past. How can you scold someone for "bad"behavior when they don't know it was wrong? I so wish he could put into words what he is trying to tell me. I just wasn't ready for how quickly this disease has robbed him of almost everything. Oh well- we will get throught today just like we did yesterday.
bev L, My dh always talked about "that guy" or "those guys", is your husband afraid of them when he talks about them? "Those guys" seemed to be the only people my dh was afraid of. He always thought they were going to hurt either him or me.
Joyce43-Sometimes he does act afraid of them or calls them names-this is usually when he is having a bad day. Most of the time though I can only imagine he is talking about someone in his past? He does spend some amount of time in the mirror talking to "that guy." Only once have I noticed him being angry at the man in the mirror. When he first started doing it, I told him it was him in the mirror-"When did I get so old" he said. Gosh, I hope he sees me as that young bride of 35 years ago!
My husband's long-term memory is also gone. Just this evening, we went to a pizza place, a guy that had worked for him, walked up, said, "How are you doing Boss" my husband looked at him with a blank look. Then wanted to show him how strong a grip he had. I felt for the guy, he had no idea about his dementia. Poor guy had no idea what to do next.
It has been so long since my wife has taken notice of anything that I never even thought about the miror. The other night I asked her who that was as I pointed at her reflection. She just furrowed her brow and looked confused.
Thunder, My husband talks & laughs with the man in the bathroom mirror. I have ask him what the man's name is, he always answers "It's a secret" I also notice he acknowledges himself in the glass of the microwave & car side mirror.
When you talk about the 'man' in the mirror it makes me think of the self portraits by the artist William Utermohlen. Where in the process of the disease are they seeing themselves? How blurred is that reflection in the mirror? Does that blurred picture have something to do with when they call us their mom? So much we don't know of what is going on. Dave and Betsy Howe gaves us a good idea.
At what stage would you say that the long-term memory begins to go? Today DH said he'd never even heard of cream cheese, even after it was shown to him. This is scary. He's in Stage 5 and so far hasn't shown any Stage 6 symptoms, but now I'm beginning to wonder if we're at the start of another downhill slide.
On Wednesday, Ash Wednesday, we went to church, as we always do. One of the rituals is the getting ashes on the forehead, a symbol of the beginning of Lent. He said afterward that he didn't understand it and had never seen it before. Things seem to be going downhill pretty fast here. This morning he had trouble making coffee. It is something he has insisted on doing in the past. Then he forgot to take his English muffin out of the toaster. I can very easily take care of this, but was trying to give him his independence in doing this. I hate this disease.
We went to church recently, and it happened to be a Saturday night mass, so he went with me. He had not been going for a while. Anyway, when he took the Communion, he walked back to the seat with it in his hand.... he didn't know what to do with it. Well, I told him to put it in his mouth and eat it, but he wouldn't, so I took it from him, and received it myself, rather than have him put it in his pocket, or whatever he was going to do. He had been receiving at home, when an EME came with Communion for him, but in church, he forgot what to do.
Then last night, he came in to the sewig room to tell me he had forgotten how to dance. He used to teach ballroom dancing, as a side job. So I came out and showed him how to dance again, and he caught on, but I had to start out leading him. Just amazing how these things happen. he has been receiving communion since he was 7 yrs old, and dancing probably at least that long.
I read an article on this and saw a video and the crux of the matter with the long term memory as I understand it is as does the short term memory decrease, so too does long term as the individual remembers less and less of the recent memories. So what he may have recalled from the last say 30 years goes to his teen years..something like that and that goes to explain why they often mistake us for a mom rather than a wife or husband as the case may be..or they want to go home because they are thinking of a child hood home...I never realized until I read that article that this is another feature of this miserable disease that cheats so many of the happy retired life they planned.