Recently I quit my part-time job w/an agency that provides services to people w/disabilities because hb can't be left alone. Today a former co-worker asked if "Mary" had called. She hadn't. An hour later I got a call from a client (identification on caller ID and I wondered why he was calling). "This is John Doe; when do you want me to come"? My mind quickly assesses the situation: "I don't need anyone; thank you. How did you get my number"? "Mary" gave it to me; here's my number in case you want to call me." John Doe is emotionally and mentally disabled, but drives a car w/only a few accidents. Takes meds to control emotions and "recreational" drugs for whatever reason. Has SLS staff that works with him a few hours a week. WHY would a supervising STAFF member suggest that I might want him to help me????? If anything, I'd think she'd ask ME if I would be interested in help from one of the STAFF. No way on God's green earth or h-e-double toothpicks would I want any of the clients keeping hb company.
So, I'm trying to get myself together trying to decide if it's worth a call to her to explain a "disabled" person doesn't need a "disabled" person to keep them company, and why she even thought John Doe was capable of such a thing. I hate confrontation, but makes me wonder about her capabilities.
Wow Zibby....that took nerve on "Marys" part. She should not be giving out your personal information to anyone without your approval. You should nip this in the bud and tell her (nicely, if you want to) not to do this again. You'll call her if you want help. She dosen't sound like someone I'd want helping me. Good luck.cs
Zibby...find your VOICE, girl, like I finally have done! Let them know in no uncertain terms how you feel! And tell them that they have no reason or right to give out ANY of your personal information!!! (Find courage to confront. Jen)
Zibby, your note gave me chills. That guy could hurt you and your DH if you turned him down... or he could keep calling you at home for help when you're unable to give it. I'd be on the phone so darned fast! I'd tell your MARY that what she did compromised your sense of safety and well being and that NEVER are they to give our your personal ifnormation to any one without checking with you first. OMG! That's absolutely unthinkable in this day and age. OMG! OMG! Call tomorrow morning before you do anything else.
The situation is resolved. "Someone" had told Mary I'm a volunteer w/Angelfood Ministries, and she thought "John Doe" could help has a volunteer; so she gave him my number. 1. She should have phoned me first and would have learned that I'm not a volunteer w/Angelfood Ministries. 2. She should NOT have given my number to "John Doe" in any case. 3. "John Doe" should have been clear about what he was asking about, and I don't think he can do that because of his disabilities. 4. And I jumped to an erroneous conclusion.
I told her I don't think staff should EVER give ANYONE's phone number to clients without first getting permission. She agreed--on the phone anyway. I've let her boss and mine know what happened and that perhaps training is in order to reinforce "no giving personal phone numbers to clients."
Zibby, I just read this story and glad you spoke up and let those who violated your privacy and sense of security how you feel about this. I might add a suggestion and that is, as much as a pain as it might be, change your phone number. Even if you have called ID and can screen your calls,you don't need that added burden. Good luck and be safe,
This might be a little bit off topic from the original discussion, but my gripe seems to fit into the title of this thread...Something Wrong Here? So, I need to vent here. (Long)
Several weeks ago (I have stated this already), the nursing home asked me to approve another transport to the cancer center for yet another transfusion (he has some sort of blood disease and bleeding internally that they have not been able to diagnose exactly). I said not to do this to him. No. Okay, lots of arguing from the staff....they compared it to one of THIER husbands with diabetes not being allowed their insulin....to one of THIER husbands with a kidney disorder not being given dialasis in order to help them. Rediculous, NOT the same. Well, you know that the Adult Protective Services have gotten into my business now, a Guardian ad litem was appointed to John.....his social security and military disability were rerouted from me (I always deposited it into a P.O.A. account in his and my name), to the nursing home. I don't know if I'm still the person that is designated as his health care surrogate, much less his P.O.A. I feel more alienated from John than I ever have before all this started. I don't know my position. You know what? I think that nursing homes are determined to keep a resident that is obviously succumbing to his or her illness, no matter what. It is all about money. I realize that I have nothing to gain by John's demise....I will recieve nothing as I am only 55 and John has provided absolutely NOTHING for me should he pass before me and it scares me to death! I told the staff this and that there is no one in my life that I am wanting to get on with.
Lately, my attorney has submitted the application for Medicaid approval. Won't the nursing home be recieving less when he is approved? Also, they will have to reimburse me for the fees I have paid them and release his social security and disability benefits to me. NONE of my assets can be touched. Good reason for hiring an Elder Law Attorney.
Today, I got a call from the head of nursing. He is to go to the hospital for a bone marrow biopsy (He AGREED !!) in order to determine if it is too late to treat whatever it is that is ailing him.....we suspect some sort of cancer. I ALREADY KNEW THAT FROM ANOTHER CONSULT BEFORE HE WAS ADMITTED TO THE NURSING HOME (I told them 'good luck' getting John to cooperate with that procedure. He won't even let me cut his finger nails).
I'm thinking that maybe they realize they may be loosing this battle....with John's health and the Medicaid thing....along with the fact that they can't lay their hands on his assets or mine...and as a matter of fact, they have to repay all of the monies I've paid them. Could it be that now, they are willing to accept the fact that my John needs to pass with dignity....without a prolonged suffering? And, again, I'm thinking it's all about the money factor.....maybe they (the nursing home) are thinking that it's better to "free up" a bed to a self paying resident? I feel like I'm readying myself for a big kick in the gut (John's passing). I feel numb all the time, really, even though some of you say I've "come a long way emotionally". I wonder how I'd feel like with a week or so without all the antidepressants I'm on to combat all the disappointment of life I feel. No narcotics or alcohol, but it's so easy to "fall off the wagon", right now, so to speak. Jen