Hello Everyone, I need some advice on renting a place or buy another house.? We now live out in the country in a 4 bedroom home and have a big yard , and since my husband can't do much anymore, we decided to sell the house. It is now on the market, hopefully it will sell by spring!! We really need to move closer to family and old friends. My fear in buying another house is what if something happens with my husband and he we have alot of medical bills that we can't afford then they could take the house and then where would I live?? At least if we rented, nobody couldn't take it away . Dear husband has no insurance but will be getting medicare after december, so we have to keep our fingers crossed until then. I have checked into senior living apartments but we make to much money for the goverment runned ones, and the private places won't work either because I am not 62 or older. So that won't work , another brick wall!!!!! So I will have to find a place that is real quite without alot of children , because he can't handle the noise. Then no place with steps, because I am disabled and have alot of problems with steps, really need a one level place. I think that is going to be hard to find. So does anyone have any suggestions for me?????? Thanks for reading and everyone's advice, Colleen
Colleen, have you checked into private retirement homes? The one we live in has no age limit (I just found that out today) and most of them with a limit it is set at 55.
Welcome to my website. I will save the official welcome for the end of my post, because I have some good information for you first. I just went through what you are facing. I am going to give you some links to the blogs I wrote while my decision was being made - I think they will be a lot of help to you.
We were living in my "dream" home that we purchased (mortgaged) when we moved to Florida in 2006. It was in a neighborhood with kids all over the place. Bikes, skateboards, cars and noisy music from the teens, but that is not what drove me to move. The decision was based on a "sooner rather than later" philosophy. After almost 3 years in the house, my husband's physical condition deteriorated more than his mental, although the mental was no great shakes either. I realized there was no way he could get on a ladder and change smoke detector batteries on 10 foot ceilings. He could not put up hurricane shutters - that really had me in a panic. He could not do any home maintenance, and having poured all of our money into the house, I could not afford to pay someone everytime a repair was needed. The taxes, homeowner's fees, and repair costs drained every account we had.
Financially, I had no choice but to rent. However, in thinking about it, I decided that even if I could afford to buy a house for cash, I would not do it at this time in my life. I needed a place where all I had to do was pick up the phone, and maintenance would come to change a light bulb, fix any appliance, change the smoke detector batteries, even oil squeaky doors. I chose an Independent Living neighborhood on the same "campus" as an Assisted Living Facility. I won't go into all the detail here. They are in the blog links, but those were my reasons.
You have come to a place of comfort for spouses who are trying to cope with the Alzheimer's/dementia of their husband/wife. The issues we face in dealing with a spouse with this disease are so different from the issues faced by children and grandchildren caregivers. We discuss all of those issues here - loss of intimacy; social contact; conversation; anger; resentment; stress; and pain of living with the stranger that Alzheimer's Disease has put in place of our beloved spouse.
The message boards are only part of this website. Please be sure to log onto the home page - www.thealzheimerspouse.com - and read all of the resources on the left side. I recommend starting with "Newly Diagnosed/New Member" and "Understanding the Dementia Experience". There are 4 sections for EOAD members - two of which focus on the young teens whose parents have EOAD (early onset AD). There is a great new section on informative videos, and another excellent resource - Early Onset Dementia - A Practical Guide.
Do not miss the "previous blog" section. It is there you will find a huge array of topics with which you can relate. There is a new "search" feature on the home page that allows you to look up different topics that may have been explored in a previous blog. Log onto the home page daily for new blogs; news updates; important information.
Marsh is correct - in most places, one spouse needs to be 55.
Colleen, check out the discussions on Medicaid to help you make a decision. A discussion with an good elder attorney might also help you with this process. Most of the retirement communities in our area are also 55. On other option to consider is a stepped retirement community that has retirement living, assisted living and nursing home care. Those can be quite expensive but may also work for you.
The big negative with renting is that if you go through all the money for him there may not be anything left for you when you need it later.
Colleen, with all the uncertainty you are facing, my advice is to rent a place. You can always buy another house, but renting gives you the flexibility to move if circumstances change rapidly. Buying a home means more permanance, and you may not be able to sell it quickly if you need to, especially in this bubble busted housing market. Renting allows you to hand in the keys, call for a truck, and move wherever you want. The downside is that you will need to keep all your strong back, weak mind friends with a truck, so they can help you move.... If you still do not know what to do, flipping a coin is a great way of resolving the issue. Heads you buy, tails you move..... and If the coin toss does not come out the way you want, you are allowed to do 2 out of 3...3 of 4, etc until it agrees with your decision. Remember, a house is a place you need to maintain, A rental is a place where someone else maintains it, while a home is where you are most comfortable
Colleen, My advice to you would be to buy another house. If you are worried about someone taking your home due to medical bills if you do not have the funds to pay, your assets would most likely be such that you would be eligible for Medicaid if you live in the States, the home is one of the non countable items. If your husband had to go to a Nursing Home, you could sell the home later and have funds to live on while you rented if that is what you wanted, but if you have the cash from the home Medicaid would take a big chunk of it, where they would leave the home alone, it is safe.
Each persons situation is different but if saving your funds is what you want then buy don't rent.
You said it quite well -"You can always buy another house, but renting gives you the flexibility to move if circumstances change rapidly. Buying a home means more permanance, and you may not be able to sell it quickly if you need to, especially in this bubble busted housing market."
When people ask me if I am happy where I am living, I always answer - "It is the best place for me NOW, at this time in my life." In the blog links I gave to Colleen, one of them discusses making a "pro" and "con" list to help make a decision. No doubt at all that it is a big decision, but I feel I made the best one for us at this time in our lives. When I am alone, who knows what I will do or where I will go?
It is true that you can always buy another house and renting gives flexibility but if the fear in buying another house is fear of loosing it to medical bills, you would loose the cash from the sale of your home to pay medical bills, but you would not loose the home you buy, the home would be safe as you could apply for State help toward the medical.
As joang stated you have to do what is right for you at the time. I just read in the question that the fear is loosing the new home to medical bills, if that is the case then buying a new home would be the best way to avoid that.
We had to move after being in the same house for over 40 years. the PCP told me to get her off the stairs and recommended we get an apartment. we were luckey to find a 3 bedroom, with all appliances and water furnished. we only pay gas, electric, and cable. We have 1200 sq ft and 100% maintance free. If it snows they shovel our sidewalk and driveway twice daily ands then salt it. If something goes wrong, a phone call brings maintance within 3 hours.
I told them of DW condition and told them if before our first year is up her condition would cause a probleum to neibors, and I felt it necessary to move I would be able to break the lease. They agreed. I have not regreted my deceision. If you do rent look for maintance frree if possiable.
If I were to move I would rent. I have owned a house for almost 50 years and loved it. At this point in my life the upkeep is too difficult for me. I am afraid to climb high ladders though I will try most anything else. It would be wonderful to just call the landlord/lady for problems.