I posted on the Jan. check in a few minutes ago about how peaceful and productive our day was today. Then I was thinking and wondering how some days can be so good, with no repetitive questions, no upsets, no shadowing, just extremely normal, if his reason button is broken, his brain a tangled mess and everything else I have learned about this disease.
Vickie-- I think of the effects of the Dementias as being like strings of short circuits. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't, and sometimes they get so bad they become dead-shorts. You hit a day when most of them happened to work.
Carosi hit it out of the park. Once in awhile, most circuits are firing. Once in awhile. This is the strangest disease, I guess because the brain is so complex.
Unfortunately, no matter which circuits happen to work on any given day, my husband, my real husband, just isn't there anymore. He thinks he is. But I know he is not.
Thanks to both of you. It just seemed so strange today. He has never gone a full day since DX without some symptom. But today, he was his old self in every way. I kept waiting for the shoe to drop - but it never did. Almost scary.
When we were getting signed up for Hospice, their DNR form needed signing. DH said to hand it to him. He signed it with his full name, legibly, with no errors. He hasn't been able to sign even part of his name clearly without error for more than 2 years. We had discussed DNR long ago, and since the Hospice Representative and I (his Guardian) witnessed it, she said it was good enough. I figured, if he messed it up, or it wouldn't fly, they could just pull out another copy and have me sign it. Same thing with steps/stairs. Wed. he told the GopBus Driver he wasn't suipposed to do steps. He is using hi 4 footed cane more and more and hi9s legs are paining him badly. Then, Fri. he made 2 separate round trips to the basement to bring up laundry. Scared me. Sometimes the wiring works, sometimes not.
Back during Noah's flood do you think it really rained that hard for the full 40 days/nights or could there have been times when it was just a drizzle . . . ? During even the worst storms it always seems to rain and blow a little less at some times.
Joan: "Unfortunately, no matter which circuits happen to work on any given day, my husband, my real husband, just isn't there anymore. He thinks he is. But I know he is not."
I know...isn't it weird? That's why you can't explain this stuff to anyone else.
Yes, Jeanette, he was reasoning normally and conversation was normal. It was just so weird to see him that way for a whole day! He still seems to be that way this morning - so we shall see how this day goes. It was so good to see my husband back - even though I'm sure it won't last!
sort of like a faulty light switch maybe? some days you hit the switch and lights come on, others you get only a spark and a fizzle. either way you know theres damage inside but in this case you cant fix it! (G) divvi
The morning went well. I went in to work for 1-1/2 hours and he called me twice just to say he loved me. Got home, to the grocery store - we are still half snowed in. Came home and he said he was going to SHOVEL the snow on our sidewalk out front! I told him I didn't think he ought to do that and he said he was over 21 and could make that decision. (He's 86). He never shoveled BEFORE AD! I didn't argue, just told him I'd stand near him with my cellphone so I could call 911 if he fell or had a heart attack. So, he did it - and very well, I might add. Came in, got warmed up, asked for 1/2 cup of coffee. He seems fine and is now calling me to see if I'm ready for lunch! (Don't know about that reason button, though! Didn't seem reasonable to me).
Yes Vicki I could have written this today: "he was reasoning normally and conversation was normal. It was just so weird to see him that way for a whole day! He still seems to be that way this morning - so we shall see how this day goes. It was so good to see my husband back"
I posted a couple weeks ago about the confusion which happens when he gets like this and I start wondering if maybe this isn't AD after all. The last few days have been weirdly NORMAL. My DH still cooks. Do any of yours? Tonight he fixed hamburgers for the two of us which brought back such sense memories as they were exactly like he used to make and I sort of flashed backwards. Our conversations seemed so NORMAL. I didn't push it by testing any "reasoning" abilities.
We've had a lot of snow here (10" more than normal for Arkansas) and DH has been out shoveling the sidewalk and I thought perhaps he was tapping into OLD MEMORIES of things he used to do routinely. He seemed to thrive on doing the "chores" he remembered doing before. Could that have anything to do with it?
I haven't seen any of those "vacant" looks in the past few days. I hope this little plateau lifts. It hasn't felt quite like this since he was diagnozed Jan 2007.
And, mine was the opposite yesterday. As you know, he's been in the NH for two weeks now. He's always been happy to see me and ready with a kiss. Yesterday I don't think he even knew it was me. I had to keep asking for a kiss. I didn't have a clue what he was talking about the whole time I was there. Seems like he was remodeling the whole building and telling me all the details. And the poor maintenance man - he was mopping the day room floor and Jean kept insisting over and over that he take the mop and rub out the scratches on the end table.
DH was still good last night when our power company came to install a new thermostat (old one recalled). I told the installer on his way in that DH had ALZ and please be patient with him. He smiled and said he understood. Well....he was here for at least an hour - and DH carried on a NORMAL conversation with him the whole time. No repeating of questions, etc. I'm sure the guy thought I was nuts. He stayed up until 10:00, then went to bed. This morning, he still appears to be OKAY. Even the shoveling yesterday didn't seem to affect him. I don't know what to think - just won't think - will just enjoy it while it lasts!
As with all who have posted comments here, I see the same thing with my wife. Even on her best days there are episodes of memory lapse and brain fog, but on some days even I would be hard pressed to say that she has AD ... until, all of a sudden, something happens to jar me back to reality. A good example ... the other day we had lunch with friends and my wife was completely lucid, all of 'her words' were there, etc. Just like 'old times.' And then a few hours later back home, my wife suddenly 'remembered' that we had to get ready to go see our grandson in a school play. I told her we had already gone to see him in that play 2 days ago. She said, "Really, I have absolutely no memory of that." I tried to jar her memory but she had absolutely no recollection ... not of physically going to or from the play, not of sitting and watching it along with our daughter, our other grandson, and me, no memory of going to the reception afterwards, etc. I now refer to my wife's life ... and therefore my life ... as our "new normal." Those analogies some of you have used ... short circuits, faulty light switches, etc. ... are right on point. AD is absolutely a weird disease.
DH has continued pretty much acting "FINE" and asymptomatic so this evening I asked him how long he had been taking the Hup A I ordered for him a year ago and which I thought he had just begun taking recently when he stopped Aricept. I wondered if that could account for this "improvement." He had mentioned it to me a couple days ago saying that from what he understood it was really really helpful to people with AD.
He said he had been taking it ever since I got it for him. Odd that he would just mention it a couple days ago then. I said I was curious as he seemed to be doing so much better lately and he responded that it was the new medication the doctor had just prescribed. This medication is for ACID REFLUX. So, obviously, his reasoning is still impaired. I said I didn't think acid reflux medication would account for this improvement and he responded that it was probably making "all the other medications work better."
I think I'll go back to enjoying the appearance of normality as long as I can and not test it anymore.
shouldn't type while watching t.v. What I meant was that when DH's doctor took him off Aricept over a year ago I got him Huperzine A until I could get a neurologist to get him on the Excelon patch. I had no idea he was still taking it which he has according to him. On the other hand, I can never be absolutely certain what he is telling me is true. It sure all sounds true! Which I'm sure you all have experienced.
We had an old friend visit last summer who thought he seemed just fine. However, when I'd overhear her asking him questions I knew that not one single answer he gave her was true. But there was no way she would know that as he always sounds so certain and being a scientist he brings that tone of authority which makes it even more confounding.
I have had to hide my husband's meds. I fill pillboxes two weeks at a time, but I kept the pill bottles in a drawer of the bathroom vanity. Once I came up short on clonazepam and accused the mail order company of shorting us. The second time I came up short (recently), I questioned DH about whether he ever takes extra ones besides what's in the pillbox. At first he said no, then when I kept pushing the issue he finally said "a time or two." Clonazepam is a controlled substance and very hard to get more before the appropriate time to refill. So I explained to him that I was going to keep all our meds somewhere else because he really couldn't just go take something at will. He said he understood. I figured better to "try" to explain it to him than for him to have a fit when he discovered they were no longer in the drawer.
Vickie, yesterday Jim was able to explain to the cable guy exactly how our house in weirdly wired! I was shocked! You just never know.
For some good news, I am so content having him home. I am slowly getting into a routine. It is so nice not to feel torn between real life and the Nursing Home. I know this can't work for everyone, but so far so good.
Buzzelena: As you might know, I had the same problem. I bought a small (just the right size) safe (light weight) with a numeric keypad at Walmart for $29.95. It worked great. The local Alz Asso suggested it and I am glad that they did.
I used to think the movie The Notebook was so fake when James Garner's wife in NH "came back" to him periodically but I am beginning to see and hear that this is indeed real. My husband is about half there most of the time. Sometimes I know and love him and other times he is like my 5-year-old child that I still love but in such a different way. Last night my DH said he doesn't think he has alz. , I must be crazy to think he shouldn't be driving. Our age 21 daughter is having trouble establishing reversed relationship with him because he's still somewhat there - she thinks it will be easier when he's "less there". Ouch, I'm not sure which is worse, half gone or all gone.