This afternoon DW's day care center called me to say she was having pains, but they couldn't figure out where. When I got there any movement seemed to cause pain, mostly in the neck area. It took 2 of them to get her to the car, so I drove her to the ER. The doctor there felt the most likely was a muscle spasm in the neck so gave her an IV of Valium. This completely relaxed her. They decided to keep her in the hospital and do a PT and OT evaluation tomorrow. When I left there after supper she was feeling fine and kept telling me how wonderful I am. I hope tomorrow's evaluation will lead to some decisions about what type of care I need to keep her at home. Maybe she's now ready for Hospice.
Marsh, you are indeed wonderful. How lovely that she could tell you that. I hope she continues to feel fine and you get some useful input from the hospital folks.
As soon as I saw your name and the topic my heart stopped. This site is amazing in that we feel we know each other. Which of course we do in so many ways. I she improves and that you find the assistance you both need. My thoughts are with you both.
OH Marsh, I'm so sorry you beloved wife is in pain. You and I are beginning this hospice journey together. Let's keep in touch. You are both in my prayers.
Just brought her back home from the hospital. They didn't completely decide the cause other than a muscle spasm in her neck. She feels fine now and ate a big lunch. I spent some time with OT and Social Service with not much in the line of any ideas. It looks like Hospice really would not be much help right now, so we'll keep on as we have been doing. Thanks for all your expressions of concern and prayers.
In view of her just getting home and the snow storm we are having now I have decided not to drive 1/2 hour to Ellsworth for a board meeting of the Free Medical Clinic, so I guess they have postponed the meeting.
Marsh, I am glad your wife is feeling better. We kind of went through the same thing a couple months ago. My husband leg/ankle was so painful he couldn't walk. Would yell in pain if you tried to move it. The doctor ordered X-rays on his leg, ankle & hip, everything was fine. This lasted a couple weeks & has never returned.
What Hospice does and did for us was help with the morning bath, dressing and then they'd leave. In the beginning, they just relieve you of some of the duties you're performing, all the while, seeing to it that she is comfortable. They visit once a week to update the charts on vitals, so, don't hesitate to bring them on board - if for no other reason but to give you that respite from a challenging daily routine. Some people (not you!) believe that when Hospice comes on board, they come into the house and STAY and that is NOT the case. In the beginning, the aide came M-W-F to bathe Foster..and was in and out in an hour. Barely time to relax over a cup of coffee and a glance at the morning paper. I LOVED that, trust me!
Marsh, take good care of Marsh, please! He's a very special man and we all love him dearly. He has taken such wonderful care of his wife, and has been here for all of us and we treasure him. We love his precious wife too. I'm glad you were able to bring her home. Enough of my mushiness..... (((((HUGS))))
I get so confused and angry sometimes.....I brought John home from Florida (a heroic rescue, I figure) and he kept getting sick, falling, etc. NEVER a mention of Hospice or any service that could help me here at home. Only some aids sent here and there. If I'd felt I had options to keep him home, help with the care and expenses of such (no personal funds available), I think he'd still be home, which is WHY I brought him home from his sister's area of the world. I was in that "void" spot where no help was available to us. Fell through the "holes". Don't think he would have qualified for Hospice care at home at that time. In the end, the hospital made the decision for me to have him in a nursing home. Don't know how each of you is able to care for your husband or wife, life-partner, mother or whomever at home by yourselves. Even now, the nursing home tells me that Hospice isn't really appropriate for him since he is so anti-social....doesn't want company, doesn't want to communicate and is so angry. I'm in a different world than you are right now. Maybe its for the best. Tired of being called names and humiliated in front of others with his accusations....the same for so many years.... Right to stay away? I feel so stoney. Concrete wall. How I would love to feel the love for my spouse that you all do. It's been a rough ride for me and that is the one thing I hate myself for.....that I LET this happen to me for so many years. You all are so lucky to have such a precious relationship with your LO........I hope I'm that "precious" to someone one day. I'm in the beginnings of starting my life over. Jen