When I sent a Christmas card to friends in Ohio I put a note in for the husband with my email adress. We met in Germany in 1970 when we both were stationed there and always kept in touch. He emailed me and told me his father had had Alz and about his memory going and the paranoid episodes. He also told me to take care of my self because his mother tried to take care of his father too long before placing him. After a few days I emailed him back and told him how DH was doing, I also told him if he didn't want updates to just let me know. Again he emailed me and said to let him know about DH and again to take care of myself. The friend also warned me about the violence which, thank God, I haven't experienced yet.I can't tell you how good it felt to know that someone really understands Alz . rather than the "He seems fine to me". This friend keeps saying if he can help to let him know and when the weather improves he wants to come and see us. It is really nice to know that someone "gets it".
That it is Jean. I have a 2nd home in northern Mich. about 200 miles from where I live. The neighbor there made two trips down here when DH was confined to his wheelchair and built a deck and a ramp for him because as he said DH should be able to get out. He then built another ramp off our deck up north so we could get in and out. He did all of this and wouldn't take any money for his work. That's a good neighbor and friend. It's rare to find someone who really cares and understands.
Joyce, Your friend is a keeper! We are in a condo on the third floor, no elavator! I tried to get DH to move about a year ago but he was afraid because of the downturn in places selling. I think I will have to wait until he declines further and do it myself. If our friend comes down he will have a 12 hour drive!
My brother has really come a long way in his ability to empathize. He and I love each other dearly but also butt heads like crazy. Lately though he has been coming up to Maine more often and is doing all the repairs on our house, sometimes out of his own pocket. He was the only family member to rush up here when my Mom had her heart attack. He has become a blessing that I never expected. He doesn't understand, but he cares, unconditionally.
He and his wife are both keepers, Jean. They came down after DH died and installed a new garage door with opener, again because it would be safer for me, since I am now alone. .Again no charge other than supplies. I did get them to take gas money Couldn't ask for better neighbors and friends and probably couldn't find better if I looked.