Joan- Ignorance is indeed bliss.. I agree with your blog that sometimes too much information is too much information. That may be the reason I am so blissful.. Ignorance has its merits, and shields you sometimes from the realities of life. Too often we listen to experts... only to find out that they were wrong. Example: Titanic engineer- "Absolutely, this ship is unsinkable due to its design and watertight compartments!" Sometimes artificial intelligence is so much better than natural stupidity.
Hear, Hear Joan. When the future is completely bleak...Absolute truth is not always a good thing. All along this journey my DH has come to the conclusion over and over that he is maintaining his own and not getting worse. I see no reason to correct that belief as long as it helps his quality of life. There seems to be no positive reason either emotionally or physically to 'burst' his bubble. Once again your thoughts have hit the nail on the head. Ignorance can be bliss. Thanks Joan.
When my children were little and frightened about something, I'd always promise that it would be OK, that I'd always be here to care for and protect them--that was a bald-faced lie, I had no way to assure that. People make a fetish of always being honest when it is sometimes kinder to tell a lie. I don't see that it helps anyone to know the details of what is happening to their brain--nothing they can do about it--they can't control what's happening and they can't control their actions, that's the basic problem--they are losing control, and if they do understand, it's only terrifying. I always told DH 'you're having some memory problems and the doctor is helping with that'. As with the children, I told him I'd be there, he'd be safe, it would all be OK. Again, a big, fat lie--but right or wrong, it's my protective mode. He was the one who was always the proud family protector, but then the time came when the roles reversed. He always protected me in his way, now I'd protect him.
I know there are some AD patients who say they want to know what is happening, every detail, and I respect that. Maybe if DH had been someone else, I'd have acted differently. But I felt this was the kindest most loving way I could help him. I think he knew, I'd see terror in his eyes but I never felt it would ease his fear to know the true details.