I have been coming to this site for a year or more. The information is priceless. That is why I am coming here for some badly needed help. It is now time.......
My dh has EOAD. He is 54 and his name is Rodney. As stages go he is somewhere around 5 and into 6. It is not uncommon for him to go walking around the neighborhood ALL day long. Thursday, Jan. 21st. our 34th anniversary, he went "just a few blocks" as he put it. In actuality he went about 9 miles and was not found for about 5 1/2 hours. Not the anniversary I had envisioned.
This makes it time for some sort of gps system or something like that. I have been looking online and am more confused than before. I need help from people that understand the issues we are having and can help. The internet is good for suggestions but I need the help of you, my cyber family. Please if any of you have any experience or suggestions on any type tracking devise please let me know. I am looking toward watches because he would be more inclined to wear this. He purposly did not bring his cell phone because he did not want to be found. He said this disease was to much for all of us and he was leaving to make things better........little do they know just how hard it is to have your loved one lost....... his reasoning is sooooooo gone..... please help me if any of you can.....thanks.....Nora
mammie--at stages 5/6, plus with the incident last week, I think you need more than a GPS. It sounds to me like your husband needs to be supervised by you or someone else (family member, friend or aide) or possibly attend adult daycare. My husband also has EOAD and is stage 5/6; I haven't left him alone now for about 3 1/2 years. Aside from the safety issues, I want him to get cognitive stimulation that he just wouldn't get if left to his own devices. I know I tend to err on the side of caution--he was also lost once for several hours and I was frantic. I was determined NEVER to go through that again!
First, check with your county sheriff's office to find out if they are on the Project Lifesaver program. Go to my home page - www.thealzheimerspouse.com - and look on the left side. Scroll down to Project Lifesaver to read about it. It is a GPS bracelet that they cannot take off, and when they are lost, they can be tracked by car and helicopter.
Secondly, check with your cell phone company -many phones have GPS trackers.
Other members found tracking bracelets on Amazon through the Amazon search on the right side of my website, but I looked and either they don't carry them anymore, or I don't know what I'm doing.
I'm sure there will be others along to give you more help and suggestions.
MarilyninMD, I have been with my husband for the last 5 months now. I quit my job, moved us closer to his family and never go anywhere without him unless he is at one of his brothers house. When he goes outside the house I remind him to get his shoes, cane, hat, phone and wallet. Usually he just walks around a few blocks and is gone about 20 minutes. Thursday he was gone longer and I went looking for him in the places around our home that he usually goes. Needless to say he was no where around. Upon further investigation I found that he took his wallet but not his phone. When he is just going outside on the carport he never tells me his is going off. Therefore since I saw him put on his shoes I just thought he was going on the porch to swing for a while. That was not the case. I did not know he was upset about what was going on with this disease. I am supervising him the best I can without smothering him or tying him to the house. We can't afford day care and other than one brother that is a quad and our youngest son who is handicapped, there is no other help.
Two of his brothers are working with me on the gps system idea and that means a lot but none of us really know what to do. I don't want to take the thing my dh loves the most away from him which is the freedom of going walking, he loves nature, but at the same time I need to have the peace of mind that I can know if he is out of my comfort zone or in danger. I hope you know what I mean. I understand you saying you tend to err on the side of caution, so do I but now I am at a loss. Now I don't sleep if he is awake or get too involved with anything unless someone else is within sight or sound of my dh. That is no life for any of us. We need another option.
I'm sorry Mammie. Many of us have had experiences with wandering off.. and when my DH was driving..I was never sure or comfortable about where he went but luckily he was able to get home. I wondered about the GPS devices to put in his truck.. but these days, I think they can be applied to clothing or shoes etc. A nearby community is using GPS tracking monitors on students who are truant and skip school.
Someone may be along that has more information.. The day may come when myDH goes out to get the paper and becomes disoriented. We live in the country.. Even if I'm right here..he could possibly roam and I'd have no idea where. Thankfully, DH is not that AWARE and wouldn't deliberately walk away but the reasons don't matter if they can't be found. Yikess.. Good Luck.. We'll all benefit if anyone knows more about this.
mammie, I had a watch for my husband because that was the only thing he would leave on. I think My daughter purchased the watch at the alzheimer's store. The face of the watch had the medical alert warning and there was a leather band that said to look on the back of the watch for information. On the back was my husband's name, address and tele. #. It also stated that he was an alzheimer's patient.
If you would be interested, I'll ask her exactly where she got it and how much it cost.
Oh Nora, I'm so sorry. Year before last, my dear husband went somewhere on Christmas morning..and we looked for him for three hours..until he showed up at home by himself. After that, there were no more walking outside on his own. If he was outside, he was where I could see him. I couldn't let him out of my sight for a minute or he'd be gone! I'd often follow him about 1/2 a block behind him to let him feel independent..but that was much earlier in the disease. Just like with a child, they cannot be left to wander around the neighborhood even if they ARE able to come home on their own. The hardest thing to get into my head was that this lovely grown up man had the mind of a 3 year old and was just about as incompetent as a 3 year old. and, it got worse. YEP, it's awful. It would be awful if he had Multiple Sclerosis, Lou Gerhig's Disease or other disease that required our presence 24/7. One day (when we were still able to talk) we talked about how thankful we were that he didn't have ALS or MS or similar disease. Just because they can still get around on their own doesn't mean that they should. I'm so so so so sorry, because your husband is a man who spent his life saving other people (former policeman) and now he has to be 'saved'. I think if the local law enforcement knew he was "one of theirs", they might take special interest in his welfare. It's worth a try. I know that they have a pretty tight brotherhood. I'd go visit the department WITHOUT HIM the first time. To explain the situation, etc.
Then 'ASK" them if they would help their former brother law enforcement man... even if didn't work for that city.
Is your husband a vet? If so, the VA has a program that pays for most if not all of a Day Care facility (at least it does in my state of Illinois). If he is not a vet, you can try the Department of Aging in your state and see if they have funding available to help with the costs of day care. My husband likes to walk to but so far he always carries his cellphone with him on which I have the chaperone feature (through Verizon).
No deb112958 he is not a vet. How I wish he were sometimes. The only reason he is not a police officer now is because he was injured on the job in 2006. He has had 6 surgeries on his left knee. This includes a total knee replacement that was done in 2008. Next week we go and make arrangements for the replacement surgery to be redone because it is not taking. So at least for 4-6 weeks he will be down for the count, so to speak, and this will give me time to get more things into place.
Ms. Nancy it is so important to let them have some of their freedom that they are used to since this disease is taking so much from them. That is why I am trying to find something where he can still get about with some freedom but I can have peace about his safety.
Joyce43 I am looking into the watch and the bracelet that Project Lifesaver has. I will be getting with the Police Department Monday to see if they are a member of this or not. From the way things were handled Thursday when we were looking for Rodney I don't think they are involved with any such type project. BBBBUUUUTTTTT if I have anything to do with it they will soon.
Joan, thanks for the information on the site. You are such an avenue of information and peace to all of us. It is the Project Lifesaver Program that I will be trying to get someone interested in.
Thanks to all of you for all of your help and I will be looking into all of the options offered. I really do appreciate the help......
Sorry you had to endure that emotional rollercoaster of him wandering off. regardless of what you put on him other than the screwed on bracelet maybe, he can and may leave again without the phone or watch etc.
there does come a time when we must for their own safety take charge of when/if they are unsupervised and able to leave on their own. in my own opinion, some can become disoriented way before stage 5 or 6 and become a risk factor to themselves and others. they could try to cross a road with oncoming traffic and cause an accident. the idea is rather how you will manage having to supervise him 24/7 now. my experience is once they get the notion to leave they will repeat the actions again. daycare, inhome care, or friends/relatives who can help you out to give you some help is probably wants in store sooner than later. taking their liberties isnt just about freedom its also about keeping them safe. divvi
All of the suggestions that you made divvi are good ones if the finances are there. They are not. There are none. I have to do the best I can with what I have and that is only me and one of his brothers that help at all.
We do live in a subdivision that is off the main road and that helps. It is safe for him to walk about here but not much further. All of the personnel at the complex here know about his condition and know that he walks the roads here. After Thursday they are going to be keeping an even better eye out with me so that should help. They are currently adding more homes in this area and when they do I hope to get a home even further in the back and further from the main road. This way it will be safer even then for him to walk.
As you stated, his safety is number one but hopefully I can find a happy safe medium for him. It is so difficult when they still have part of their mind and they know more and more of themselves are leaving them.
mammie--Have you looked into qualifying for Medicaid? If you can qualify, that program also pays for daycare or inhome care. As Deb said, the Dept. of Aging can also help with funding these options.
Yes, it is a delicate balance between preserving freedom and self-worth and providing safety. But I think we all agree, safety is number one. That is one of the huge challenges in dealing with this disease--to let them think they are still "free" to do what they want, but in reality, they cannot be.
Yes I have checked into Medicaid and the income is too much, so they say. I don't think so but it is not my decision.... We have also looked into cell phones with gps. My dh stated that he left his phone at home because he was leaving and did not want to be found or bothered so that is out of the question. Over the last two days the more we talk about the bracelet or watch with gps the better he likes the idea. I am steering him to the idea it is so he will have more freedom if we know he is safe. He likes that idea. He doesn't realize that if need be, we can find him if he wanders outside our comfort zone.
I am getting with the police department here Monday. I don't think they are involved with the Project Lifsaver Program. I am going to have info ready for them from this web site that Joan has provided. Maybe this will help more than one person for a long time.
I do appreciate all of the concern and suggestions. I don't know where I would turn to if not to all of you. Ya'll are the comfort in my day as God is the source of my faith. Thank You All.
I too struggle with this issue. We were at the hairdressers together (by bike) the other day and he was done long before I was, and wanted to go home, so I let him go home on his own. I'm sure he knows the way and my cleaner was in the house, so he would not have to use his key. Still I wasn' t perfectly confident about it and was sure glad to see him when I got home.
Today we were at a concert at our local castle (also by bike) and he decided he wanted to go home at intermission. I was in a quandry about letting him go, but realized I would not be able to enjoy the rest of the concert worrying about him, so I went to get my coat to go with him. We passed the men's restroom and I asked him if he needed to go. Turned out he did, and that was the reason he wanted to go home! So we both stayed and even went to friends' house for a drink afterwards.
Really the only place he goes on his own is his brother's house, just down the road, but I have arranged with BIL to call him to be sure he is home and let him know that DH is coming. So far this has worked.
joyce43* I would love the information about the watch if you can get it. I am also looking and will have something to compare it to. Thanks for your help.
Mammie, try the above link, You can see the watch. My daughter said she will call me with the site she went to when she bought the one for her dad. But this one looks like the one she got. The watch was the only thing my husband would keep on. I'll let you know the site she used when she ordered if it's different.
The Alz. Assoc. woman at the caregiver group (real) today said the watch with GPS (or A watch) she'd just had demonstrated LOCKS ON. I can try to get the info on it if anyone's interested.
briegull I am very interested in more information about the watch with the GPS on it. Also the fact that it locks on is great. I appreciate your assistance with this. My email is with my name if you need to email me the info. Thanks again.
Silly me,,, I thought if I said to DH to wait at the restaurant door while I paid the check that he would do just that..When I found him near the interstate, He went into a rage, that I had run off and left him.. 2 minutes later he forgot the whole thing while I'm shaking from the what-if's... I shall look into some sort of GPS and I have informed the neighbors that if he's seen out of the neighborhood to gently guide him back home... For now, that's the best I can do.. He does not like to be told what to do.. Bless us all..peggy
Mammie, I am so sorry!! My DH has EOAD too and is 56. He has not wandered off yet, but "goes for a walk" every day too; so I am just waiting. Have you checked into Medicaid Planning? Because you are so young you probably need to. I am currently working with an eldercare attorney to plan for the eventuality of my DH having to go into a nursing home. We don't have long term care insurance and quite a few assets I would like to preserve if possible. There are things you can do to plan so that you don't lose all your assets trying to pay for a nursing home. AND, I also found out the other day that MediCAID (not Medicare) will pay for home health care too if they are still at home. Might be a way for you to afford it. Click on my name and you can email me if you want. Big hugs, Shannon
Peggy I have the same problem, and it is usually while i am going thru a check out register. By the time I pay and start towards the exit, my dw is gone. Sometimes, I lead the way, assuming she is right behind me, then all of a sudden she is gone! I have started taking her picture on my camera-phone BEFORE we go shopping. That way, I can give a very accurate description of her if she turns up missing. A few weeks ago, I lost her so I went to the customer center, and they asked me what she was wearing...and I could not answer...did not take a picture nor remember what she was wearing. So now, I snap a photo when she does not notice, and I pretend to talk on the phone. If she gets lost, I have a very recent picture to put on the back of a milk carton....
This one just launched at the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas. I like it because it is not as much as most of them cost and it looks like a regular watch. Plus it has a digital display. My husband cannot read a regular watch. They are taking pre-orders:
Shannon That looks ideal, but I wonder if it is accessible via a computer. I am trying to find a locatable device, but without having to call the police and launch a nationwide search. Also, I hope they come in more colors than blue.....
I think it is. Go to their web site at: http://www.lok8u.com/us/ They talk about their kids' product on there; but I am assuming the adult product would be the same. It says:
nu.m8 is the world’s first GPS locator designed exclusively to locate children. It enables you to find your child, whenever you feel you need to know, at home or abroad. All you need is a mobile phone or computer to find their precise location.
Unlike other locator products, nu.m8 is a child’s digital watch which cannot be removed or deactivated without your knowledge. If this should happen an instant alert is sent straight to your phone and/or email with your child’s location. No other child locator in the world can match this. Another great feature of nu.m8 is the ability to set up a virtual fence as a ‘safe zone’. If your child steps outside this zone you’ll be notified.
I just looked at the watch and this does sound good. I am going to go look at it at some of the stores listed. Hopefully this is what we need.
I did look into the Project Lifesaver Program that is listed on Joan's site. It sounds good also but only if there is a police department nearby that is involved in it. The closest department to us is about 1 1/2 hours away which is no good to us. I am getting the info mailed to me so that I can try to get our police department involved. Until then, we have to do what we can to keep our loved ones safe.
Thanks for the great information. Shannon, I will be emailing you. Thanks
The Alz. Assoc. woman got back to me, and it's NOT the same thing. The one she had demonstrated was the EMFinder, website at http://www.emfinders.com/. It's $275/yr subscription. It is NOT GPS, but it looks interesting.
I have been looking all over for the right product for our loved ones. The GPS watches are not transmitters so they will not work. It seems like the Project Lifesaver Program is the best type service outthere. It is $99 activation fee and $30 a month for upkeep and batteries, etc. I am still looking into this because if there is no police department near you, it is harder or impossible to get the right transmissions needed for tracking. I am still working on this and will post what I find.