Okay, I;m well under way to the spend-down process with John who has been in the nursing home for some months. I've thought I was going nuts, not knowing what happened to his Dec. or Jan. Social Security checks. THEN, at the mailbox on Tuesday, I got a letter from my attorney (c.c. that was sent to the financial advisor of the NH) advising them to release John's funds back into my hands. Of course, I was there in a blaze, t hat same day. They were matter of fact. No dice. The matter must go throught all their red tape through their home office someplace out west. They said they cant guarantee it will go in my favor. I was sobbing by the time I left....don't want to see John anymore, he's left me in such a rediculous mess, financially, and I have such resentment toward him. Promises made to me and never intended to be kept. I tried to tell them that I was desperate and need those funds to keep afloat. Most of you know that I have depended upon my parents for for my support. That's drying up and I don't want to ask for more help. My neighbors keep me fed, friends keep my horses fed till Spring when they will sell. Another letter from my lawyer...John will be appointed a Guardian ad leitem (?) to "protect his interests" and the soonest it can get on the docket is late MARCH. He and I are to be served some sort of papers very soon and I am requested to appear at that hearing. John's going to be scared to death when he sees an officer of the law come into his room and serve him legal papers. And, how's he suppossed to understand what's going on?? My husband has been diagnosed with "severe alzheimers". How can they do that? How did the nursing home get his checks sent to them? Several months ago I was late with one payment because my lawyers said to hold off taking it out of my funds...His funds hadn't yet been transferred to the P.O.A. account I'd set up for his paydown. I never heard another word from the NH. I wrote the check soon as I was told to. Anyhow, wondered if anyone has encountered this kind of injustice when you're already going through enough private hell?

stunt girl---the ad litem is a court appointed person to represent John, to be sure he isn't being coerced or misrepresented. They are generally very knowledgeable and respectfully meet with the person to explain the case and their job. The ad litem will know John won't/doesn't understand; won't remember, etc. and will attest to that,. It's actually a protection for both of you--protecting him from inappropriate revocation of his rights of self-determination, and at the same time documents the need for the Guardianship. You'll both be served papers simply to record the fact of the case and court session to process it. The serving of the papers sounds much more daunting than it actually is.
The nature of the case and reason(s) for it are known to the court personnel--they know persons with Alz don't understand, remember, etc. The object is to do what is best for him and document that so there is accountability and proof, both of which will benefit and protect each and both of you.

I took Guardianship of my DH in the late Summer of 2007. Carosi

Talk to your attorney. A spouse can be the Guarian, or any other relativem,or a Court Apointed Person trained to represent him. You need to ask the who ? and ask about being a partf , or at east consulted. It stands until disolved by the Court, or changed by them.