I remember reading on old threads about this, but never thought it would happen to me so soon. Dh came to me (I was printing our Christmas pictures at the computer) and said there was something he wanted to talk about. So I pulled my chair up beside his and he said he had been thinking about it for quite a while and he thought he would like to marry me.
So I said that was sweet of him and a real good idea. He thought we could go and live in his house in Rotterdam (don't know what house he means; he grew up in a tiny walk-up apartment there). A little later I got out our wedding pictures and he seemed to remember and we had fun looking at them and recognizing the people. I was surprised that he recognized both of my (now long gone) grandmothers.

Well that was nice, but later he kept on about going home to his house in Rotterdam. I took him out for a snack at MacDonald's and when I drove back to the house he protested, saying this wasn't the house he wanted to go to. I was able to distract him by getting him to crack nuts, eating a light supper, watching news on TV, but he kept coming back to it. Until bedtime (8 pm), then he seemed to forget and went to bed willingly. I hope he will have forgotten by tomorrow. I gave him a Melatonin to help him sleep.

so confused.

Better than him wanting a divorce! I think you need to try and look at this as a sweet, "Alrighty then" moment. Take a deep breath. We are here.

PS: if he keeps it up, you could always renew your vows and tell him that you want to live in this house.

Foster and I would always say,"I think I'll marry you!" OR "Keep that up and I might just propose marriage to you"..and/or "Will you marry me???" frequently. This began years ago...reaffirming our decision to marry back in 1991. It was an ongoing 'flirty' game we played. Even toward the end, he'd take my hand and ask "Will you marrrrrrry meeeeee?"... and I'd always say "Abso-darn- lutely I will!!!"..

Jeanette - he may be having a reaction to all the traveling. He may be somewhat disorientated, thus the confusion on houses. As for wanting to marry you - i think it is sweet.

Today was a much better day, much less confusion. He was quite content to let me go swimming this morning. Found him in the same seat with the same TV channel on when I got home.
Then we were out most of the afternoon -- went to the free lunchtime concert, which was a cello quartet, and met two couples there that we knew and chatted with before and after. Well, I chatted, dh did not say much but was pleasant and polite enough to say yes when asked if he had enjoyed the music (later he told me he didn't like it). Of course he didn't remember the way to the concert hall or to his favorite eating place afterwards.

No talk of going home, or of getting married. Hopefully that's over (for now anyway). Day care tomorrow, if all goes well.

Jeanette, DH forgot we were married in March, 2008.

Thanks everybody for all the stories! Got to love these crazy AD-guys sometimes.
Sitting here waiting for the day care van, always a tense moment. I never mention it to dh ahead of time. He always protests but so far has always eventually gone along out the door and into the van. Today he has a new Photo album to take along that my DIL composed for him with lots of family pictures. He doesn't have a clue who most of those nephews and nieces are, but he knows his own grandchildren and my brothers and their wives.
At daycare on Monday he won a prize at Bingo and picked out a butterfly pin for ME. Awwwww.

Thanx for sharing the sweetness Jeanette.

I don't remember Bill asking me to marry him, but he did tell the kids that he was thinking about it. My big problem was that he wanted to have kids. I think I'm too old to start over with kids.
He also wanted to pay for everything, Bama, He would tell me he had $7 and we could go out to dinner; he'd pay.
You have to see some humor dealing with AD or you'd go crazy.

THis week he has been asking whose house this is. I tell him it is ours, and he is delighted.
How much did we pay for it? I tell him and he is amazed.
Then who are all those other people around here? Nobody here but the two of us.
But he knows me and I have had no more marriage proposals, he went off to day care today and I remembered to give him his Melatonin at bedtime so hopefully he will sleep.
Things are OK.

We had people in our house, also. Usually his mother and a little boy. His older brother visited often also (He's still living) but I never say any of them. I would hear him talking to the little boy but he never spoke to his mother.
We didn't have a big man but we did have those guys he was afraid of. I always kept them locked outside so they couldn't hurt him.
Like you marygail*, thank God he no longer has to worry about those guys. I'm so glad he is happy now, but I am so lonely without him.

JeanetteB, the first time DH went to day care, when I picked him up they said he was sitting by the window watching for me and when he saw me drive in he went and got his coat. He was waiting by the door when I walked in. All the way home he kept telling me how glad he was that I come all the way to get him. He thought I had driven from his childhood home 600 miles away just to pick him up.

Jeanette: Thank you for starting this thread and to all of you ladies for your comments. This was pleasant reading and I especially enjoy some of your conclusions. I think I know what an 'Alrighty Moment' is now.

As usual, if you don't mind, my experience is somewhat different. When we had our 50th wedding anniversary, my DW insisted that we renew our vows in a big Church wedding, I agreed because it meant so much to her and it was beautiful. And now, I am so very glad that we did it. Our original wedding was a small family gathering and I think she always felt a little bit cheated.

I wish that was the end of the story, but, three years later, before we knew that AD visiting our house, she wanted to get her own apartment or move in with her sister (that she always detested) and many other behaviors that were completely out of the ordinary. I can't tell you how hurt, crushed and scared I was. I just knew that she was unhappy and didn't love me or want to live with me. It still hurts and I don't even like to think about it or write about those days. It brings it all back and it is still painful.

Oh, how I wish I had known then what I know now.

I sometimes feel like I am the only one that writes about negative things and if so, I am sorry to rain on your parade.

Hope you have a good day tomorrow.

Dean, you are describing typical AD behavior!!!!! Many spouses not only ask for a divorce but find an uneducated attorney and judge and get one!!!! It is heartbreaking to see and know that that is not the real them - it's AD and medication will help.... and some children aid in the separation. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!!

I am one of the fortunate ones who didn't have to go through that, but I know others that did.

Dean, the problems you describe with your wife wanting to live separately is a classic example of the kind of thing that must be happening all around us with people not knowing that they are suffering from beginning dementia. It is tragic, and the world at large needs to be more aware of this so that couples like you would get the help you need on time.

About day care: They told me it might take six weeks for dh to get used to it. They told me that no one likes to go at first, but that everyone likes it eventually. Well, my husband has been going in twice a week for six weeks now, but we had an interruption of two weeks because we were away. Every morning when the van comes is a tense moment for me, because a couple times he has really protested against going. In fact he has always gone, but once I had to actually ride along in the van and find my way home by public transport later. That was the second time he went. People on this site suggested that I drive him myself, which I could do in a pinch, but I don't want to. He always wants to know exactly where we are going and protests angrily if it's someplace he doesn't like. It could be dangerous.
What I do now is get in the van with him, and once he is settled and buckled up, I tell him I'll be home when he gets home this afternoon and I just step out again. So far this has worked. He is not angry at me for it, sometimes he asks why the van driver didn't let me go along.
I don't know too much about how he gets along there. When I call they say he is fine and cooperative, but in the afternoons he is always asking when the van will come to take him home. There is a notebook that they will write a short account of the day in, but he has become fond of this booklet and hangs on to it all day so that they often don't get a chance to write (I don't know how hard they try.)

In my heart I am afraid that he really doesn't like it and is sometimes bored and unhappy there. I do NOT ask him how it was -- he always says he didn't do a thing, no games (this is definitely not true) and no good food (the staff tells me he eats enthusiastically). So I just don't mention it, but make things cozy when he gets home. He always comes in smiling, glad to see me and cooperative. I think the day care does him good. He seems more alert after he has been there, so the activity is good for him.

As long as I can get him to go I will continue. He would be bored at home, too, and bored if I had to take him along to my dentist's appointments, etc. AND I really need the time off, it has been so great. That allows me to schedule all kinds of things that would otherwise be troublesome.