Mary, I recently got an emergency, temporary (good for 60 days) conservatorship/guardianship for my husband (see internet scam). I saw an atty. on a Friday morning and had the court papers approved by Tues. morning. This maybe state specific and/or evidence driven. The hearing for the permanent appointment is in less than 60 days from the temp. appointment.
Since my husband is also on psyc. meds, a treatment guardianship was also included. This allows me to request inpatient psyc. meds.
Mary, I forgot to add that their are no family members who oppose my actions. Additionally,the court appoints an atty. (guardian at litem)to represent my husbands "best interests" as opposed to representing his wishes. If he realizes this, which I don't think he will, he could hire an atty. to represent his wishes, and then the time and money could go thru the roof! (An atty. with a cognitively impaired client who has some funds and doesn't realize he is impaired).
Sorry I left out this information, which I think has a bearing on both the time and cost of this action.
Mary75, you have been dealt very bad blows - from your husband and from his children. I have you in my prayers, and hopefully the Court will realize what his children have done to you and return to you the rights and money that should have remained with you in the first place.
You have the strength to see this through. It will be better for you. Go with God.
mary you are certainly in my thoughts and prayers. i know how if feels to be dealt a blow like this. as if you don't have enought on your plate,and then you have to worry about financial disagreements with family. i tell you when it comes to money people will really suprise you,family can break your heart and turn on you and your loved one too,most of the time,or in our case anyway,it is the ones that you have done the most for and never in a thousand years would you think something like this would happen. i will pray for you tonight. bless you, and try to keep your chin up.these things are very hurtful and stressful,but you can find the strength and overcome. i don't think we are ever too old to learn and learning the ways of family sometimes is not forseen.
My husband's children tried acting up when I petitioned for conservatorship. I was worried sick, but my husband's attorney said that kind of thing is all too common. She simply asked to speak with him for five minutes before the hearing, to make sure he still wanted me to take care of him.
Surely, the court will understand what's going on here, and help you. The kids obviously were up to no good. With a good attorney, you should be in great shape. It will be stressful, of course, and it's awful that you have to deal with this on top of everything else. But you WILL make it through.
My attorney told me to think about the case once a day, and then refuse to even let it enter my mind for the rest of the day. I wasn't exactly able to do that, but he was right, I needed to limit the time I thought about it each day, to save my sanity.
I just got my "official" conservator papers last night. I look forward to your post saying the same thing!
Congratulations on going for a degree - how absolutely fantastic, life affirming, and just all around terrific to be doing something for yourself. Who cares if you're over 65? I remember someone telling me about a person who was complaining that they would be 50 by the time they completed the degree they wanted. The answer was, "Well, you're going to be 50 anyway, so why not be 50 with the degree instead of without it?"
I am firmly of the opinion that school is wasted on the young. They don't know enough to know how or what to study, or what is important -- they just can't get nearly as much out of it as those of us with a little "real world" experience under our belts.
hi Mary, I'm live in BC as well. Good on you for going for your degree. I too have adult children from another marriage to wonder about. Only time will tell.
Good on you for standing up for yourself with the assistant manager. It always amazes me when someone in a "power" position acts like that. Let us know what happens.
Canadian literature sounds very interesting.
I'm up in the 100 Mile House Area. I have a cabin out at one of the lakes but had to rent an appartment in town because of DH aggressive behaviours. Thank goodness they aren't too expensive.
Mary, my thoughts and prayers continue to be with you! I have been wondering how things were going with you. Thank you so much for the update! Best wishes to you especially during this horrible time!
How good to hear how things are going and that his children are not monsters after all. I, too, am elderly and have found that many things are not always what they appear. Recently I read 'advice' that said 'anticipate positive intent.' I have not always done that and far too often I thought someone had a negative intent when that was not the case at all. I'm trying to incorporate that. Well, either way, one must be careful, too many children are *&^%$#& people, don't mean to imply they're always sweethearts!
The other thing I want to comment on is how easily our ADLO's can fool us--and others--so we are off and running in the wrong direction because we simply cannot recognize that what they say and do is not rational. We desperately want to give them all the opportunities to keep whatever abilities we think they still have, but sometimes I think that is wishful thinking. We say, 'he still knows and understands this and that' or 'he'll be OK, he's always done that' and 'he can still do this' and too often that is not the case. Mary is right when she says that she now understands more clearly what is going on in her husband's mind. And we all know how impossible it is to explain to someone who sees nothing wrong, that there really is plenty wrong. There has to be a special place in heaven for those of us who deal with AD!
Best of luck Mary. My thoughts will be with you. You said "watch your back." I don't have any children from a previous marriage to deal with, thankfully. My husband's brother is his only relative. He lives about 3 hours away, thank goodness. We only see him & his wife for a few hours at Christmas. That's enough for me. I don't think he'll lay claim to anything, the only thing left is the house.