It seems like the sicker my husband gets the more his mom trys to take over everything. She has his meds at her house. Is this normal for a mom to do to her married son. We have been married for almost fifeteen years. She is the type of person that is sweet as pie as long as everything goes her way but cross her and it is the devil.
Under normal circumstance I would tell her to respect your wishes and boundaries. This is not going to be a normal journey and you will need all the help you can get. I would order 90 day supply of meds and let her have some of them. I do not have a Normal relationship with my mom so I could not guide you there. But it does sound unusal for his mom to have the meds at her house. Is your husband able to fight the battle and not you. You need to keep that relationship working the best you can, because you will need the help.
This can be a tough one. My experience has been that my DH's family members don''t wnt to know or be involved, but reserve the right to criticize and interfere. There was a major go 'rond when, after he could no longer drive, they gave him a road capable motorized chair which I had told them he could not have. It was then that I had to get it into my head, that while they did care and had strong feelings about what is happening, I cannot focus my time and attention on their needs about his care. I had to tell them point blank that if they could not respect my decisions for his care, as hiswife, they would hav e to respect them from as his Guardian. I didn't like having to get so hard-nosed about it, but his care and safety comes first.
Hopefully, you can work out ways to include your Mother-in-law, yet establish yourself as your DH's primary advocate. No one can do this job alone. You'll need the help, and she appears more than willing. Perhaps there are areas you could give over to her to see to--easing the load on you and making her help acceptable.
Are you working; does he stay with her some? Is she rational about his problem? Would she read stuff (like the "understanding the dementia experience") for instance? How does your husband react to all this?
I agree, you're going to need all the help you can get - dementia caregiving is a real, depressing maze and this is one time you will need to share him with someone else willing to help! (I'm thinking of all the people on here who say, I'm just not cut out for caregiving; I wish I'd divorced him earlier..)
At this point I would take any help that I could get. However, in your situation you might want to read a book titled "boundries", and then pass it on to her to read. I hope you are able to work things out so that your relationship with her and other family remains intact.