During this season of the year, long ago and far away before Alzheimer's became members of our families, most of us had good times and fun and joy. For some, there have been sorrows, and hurt feelings, and maybe Santa forgot to come, and some just never celebrated any of the religious occasions.
We have experienced the loss of four spouses in such a short period of time, and we are all still mourning their loss and our empathies are with our family members here. There are several who have just had to place their spouses or they are being placed this week.....another great loss.
Yet all of us are alive. We have other family members who need us, who look up to us for guidance and leadership, and we need to lean on each other for strength and love.
I propose that each of us take a few minutes to remember what they can be happy about. It can be a special event, or something someone said that made their day, or anything that brought you happiness, whether long term or brief.
If we take time to remember the good, the fun, the joy, then our burdens won't seem so heavy.
Wishing all of you a politically correct "Happy Holidays" - and a politically incorrect "Merry Christmas to all"!!!!!
(I'm a big stinker! Always have been! And always will be!) Love and hugs to all of my family here at Joan's!!!!!
You just wrote my Christmas Blog - Thank you. I admire your strength and perserverence, considering you have suffered one of the greatest losses this year - that of a child. Yet you are always here to offer help and understanding to others. So let me say that I am happy this website has brought you to me as a friend.
joang
P.S. - I took the OT off of this discussion's title. It is not off topic at all.
Mary-dear friend-Leave it to you who have lost your greatest treasure Diane to remind us that there were good times. We may have lost our hopes for future joy with our spouses, but nothing can take away the good memories. Thank you for an uplifting message.
Mary, thank you so much for putting the "whole picture" in perspective. It comes at a very good time for me. What a blessing this site has been, is, and will continue to be.
Mary, that was beautiful. I'm so glad to have you for a friend. You always bring a smile to my face. I hope we can all do the same for you . You, especially, deserve it.
Mary, with all you have been through your positive attitude has made me rethink my situation and realize all the good things I still have. Thank you for being here with us. Merry Christmas!!
I really appreciate your post. You are right on. I tried to tell a little about my recent feelings afte hearing the message''"GREAT EXPECTATIONS" I posted yesterday. Most of our expectations have gone arigh, but there is nothing that says we can not make the best out of a bad situation. I have always been a worker in my faith but now I am not able to do the Prison Ministry, the Children's Ministry, Adult SS, etc. But I do believe that being a Witness to my faith has filled the boat in a very gratifying way.
Mary, as always you say exactly the right thing at the right time. I try to stay ever mindful of my blessings, because hard as life can be sometimes, all of us are in many ways better off than a majority of the world's population. Your knack for focusing on the positive is a gift to all of us. Love you.
Mary, as I said on Facebook, You Rock! You have been such an inspiration to all of us.
Where would we all be without each other. I shudder to think of my life without this place. Thank you Joan for providing us shelter during this unimaginable storm. As Joseph and Mary found refuge in the Manger, we all have found it here. All of you have supported me through so many challenges this year. I feel honored to have been a part of the ministry that we all provide to each other. This is a very, very special place. I imagine us all in a huge circle around a beautifully lit tree, under a clear and starry sky, holding hands and singing. What a wonderful image. Merry Christmas to all and to all a New Year filled with friendship and courage. Arms around, Susan
Ha! Just realized I had not really responded to your request about things that make me happy, so here are a few. The extraordinary friendships I have made on this site. The unconditional love I see every day in the faces of my critters, who depend on me for everything. The warm, snug house I live in. My health. Good friends. My favorite sweatshirt. (-: I could go on and on and on. This is very like the gratitude journal we've talked about before.
The comadery and friendships built from this site. love and affection from afar from faces we've never seen or hands we've never held. doesnt matter what race, religion, or politics we believe in or not, there is a solidarity beyond words that unite us in a cyber world all our own. i am grateful that although the disease has taken my beloved spouse heart and soul he has been blessed with a happiness within his own AD world and for that i am profoundly happy. divvi
Some of the things that have given me the greatest moments of joy this past year are the little things that people do out of the blue, the unexpected....The guy who shoveled the snow, the other Mom who baked an extra loaf of bread and brought it over, the friend who is suddenly 'in the neighborhood' frequently. There seem to be angels where ever I look these days, just when I need a lift. Then of course, there are the people here on this site who, through sharing and immeasurably large hearts, have helped me through this year. My gratitude cannot be measured. I do not go a day, except when I was out of the country, without reading the posts here and feeling at home. Much happiness for this season of light and grace! Susan
Thank you all for the wonderful words! You have made my day!! week!! month!! I would not have made it through this summer and fall without the love and support of all of you. You are what keeps me going!
I am happy that 36 years ago tomorrow, I met the man of my dreams. We had 30 wonderful years together; working together, traveling, and doing all of the things we wanted to do. We have had a good life. When ALZ struck 6 years ago, all the dreams we had of our future together were shattered. But he is still the man I love and will take care of him as long as I physically and mentally can. He did remember our anniversary (surprise!) and wanted to take me to dinner tomorrow night. I convinced him to go to a great restaurant for lunch instead (he doesn't do well at night). So, that's what we will do tomorrow. Even in his condition, he makes me happy some days and for that I am grateful.
And, yes, happiness is having true friends as well as someone to love.
Mary, thank you for that very inspiring note. I also share your heartache, having lost our only Son, and then Our beautiful Grand-daughter, but I, like you count my Blessings. I am grateful that I am in good enough health to take care of Dario, for as long as I can. Friday we were Blessed with our 7th Great-grand child, the best gift ever.... I have said it before, that I am grateful for this web-site, thank you Joan, It is strange how we all have connected, because of Alz, we share each others pains, and heartaches, and yes even the funny stories (the roaming P.J.) I wish you all, a very Blessed Holiday. God Bless each and every one of you......Love, Rosalie
Mary, you have such a memorable way with words. Love to read your posts. I have even copied some of them and forwarded them to friends who needed such words at this time in their life. I am thankful for so much. I am so very thankful Paul passed before going through all the stages of the disease. He was still continent and still remembered his family and was able to maintain a measure of dignity. With the help of Hospice he had a pain-free few last days with us. He just took a deep breath and was gone.
It is my nature to be happy--and I'm happy about that and all the things already mentioned; my health, family, this site, a peaceful passing for DH, the love and life we had together, the ability to help others get thru AD with my monthly column that gives meaning to DH's travail; just enough security; living in America; a gentleman friend and January 3, 2010.
Growing up there were never birthday parties in the house--don't know just why, it never bothered me, birthdays came and went for all of us as just another day, I never gave it a thought--and I had a great childhood. When the children came & were invited to little parties, I thought I'd better do something for them, buy some cupcakes, candles, whatever. I always told them 'don't surprise me with any parties, I really don't want any.' But they were always pushing and on Sunday Jan 3, they are giving me my first real birthday party. I'm a Capricorn, Jan 4, I've read that Capricorns are charming and who am I to argue. I will be 80 and I'm loving it.
Our story is similar to Vickie and her husband's--married 32 yrs. I especially like her comment "Even in his condition he still makes me happy some days, and for that I am grateful". That is true for me as well.
It's Christmas Day, and I am with my family who loves us, both of us. I'm staying at my Daughter's because they all felt that DH would do well with some stimulation. I am immensely grateful to God for my daughter and son, and thier respective families who love him unconditionally and who are so supportive of me. I'm grateful for friends who try to help wherever they see a need. I'm grateful for this website, where I can vent. I happy for the years we have spent together, married almost 33 yrs, together for 38. and except for the last several months where he's going downhill so fast, all our years have been rich in experiences and love. I'm grateful that I quit my job when he retired and we traveled together while we could. And I'm grateful for Mary's blog today, which makes me look at my blessings, even when I'm feeling down. Thank you.
I am happy that I have 4 healthy, happy children, a dozen wonderful grandchildren (will be a baker's dozen in the spring), the friends that I have found here and the memories of a wonderful husband and our life together.
I am happy that Christmas evening, with most of the same players here that were here for Thanksgiving, went much more smoothly. Everyone knows their way around the house and the kitchen and just does what needs to be done. I felt much better, the children were good, and clothes apparently fit. Not sorry it's over, but I'm counting my blessings tonite too.
You're so right, Mary. I count my blessings every day, and when I get so low and I feel the tears and sobs coming, I go where my DH can't hear or see me. Sometimes crying helps, but when the crying's over, counting my blessings helps take away the depressed state I'm in. God gave us many blessings. My girls, my grandkids, who have made my life so rich I can feel happy tears coming just thinking about them. Grandchildren, I feel, are life's true blessings. I feel that no matter what happens in the future, I can be grateful that my spouse and I raised such wonderful kids who enriched our lives and further blessed our lives with grandchildren. I feel sad and depressed just like many of you do, but I "count my blessings" every day for my beautiful family and, like Betty says above, living in this wonderful country and all the beautiful places we've seen here. I can count among my blessings the fact that, unlike so many of you young people here, we at least have been fortunate to live to an older age before this terrible disease hit us, although, looking back over the years, I can see symptoms of it happening much earlier than we thought. But, I can't even imagine what you young people with young children are going through. God bless.