My DH is early stage although he has macular degeneration, and I am wondering if I should. I'm 52 and he is 80. I never got my nursing degree way back when and I regret it to this day. I worked in an hospital for a few years but then when my mother got cancer I was expected to stop and take care of her even though she was terminal. It did a number on me and I never went back, instead got married, had a child and raised my family. All here know my confusion as to whether I should try to do it now or just wait ...some more time for someone else to pass. But I need to do this for myself, I know I will do it sometime. Maybe. But if I put it off longer then how old will I be when I go back to it? Hubby, of course doesn't want me to. Please, if you can give me any advice or words of wisdom I really would appreciate it. Thanks.
Gypsy-you put your life on hold once. If you do it again you may wind up a bitter person with no dreams. Unfortunately nothing we do can halt the progress of the disease. If your husband is safe and getting the attention he needs I say go for it. I have loved every minute (well almost) of a long nursing career. Think of all the understanding and compassion you will bring with you. Good luck
A woman in my support group who is caring for her husband at home in early to mid Lewy Body Dementia is currently in nursing school. I was impressed by her story because she quit a career as a lawyer and then a judge to go to nursing school. She said she wanted to do something where she could help people hands on. It definitely seems to be working for her.
i agree with bluedaze as well. your continuing your education will not only enhance your own future but your DH will reap the benefits during his ordeal with the disease. go for it, its never too late. divvi
You say you are 52 and are wondering how old you will be when you get back to your education. I am sure I have written this before on other threads, but I believe it bears repeating. This is what I believe with all of my heart and soul. You are 52. Maybe it will take you until you are 56 to get your degree. But YOU WILL BE 56 ANYWAY, so why not be 56 WITH the degree rather than without it? It is NEVER to late to reach for and achieve your dreams. We will be dead forever, so we need to do what we can while we are here. Go for it!
Gypsy2--Go for It! This is about taking care of yourself. It is for your future--your AFTER. If your DH's objections are holding you back, or even just the natural hesitation of starting something so important to you, start with 1 or 2 classes. You'll probably have some refresher classes or Intro classes to take first--start with them. Your Dh will adapt. This will become a part of the routine. Taking care of you will make you a better caregiver.
You have to go back to school for yourself. This disease is not only robbing us of the one we love, it is taking away our hopes and dreams of the future. Until we take the bull by the horns and regain some ground, we will forever let the disease take everything from us. Do this for YOU...... Your dh will not remember for long. I have been on vacation from school for tooo long, about 6 months, and I need to get back also. This is something we have to do for ourselves and our future. We give everything for our lo's, this is the least we can do for us.... Good luck with your decision and it is never to late to go back, but as we told our kids when they wanted to do something we knew was good for them, but why wait?????? Go for it !!!!!!!!!!!!
Ditto! My stepmother had to end her formal education at 8th grade because her grandfather who was rearing her said "No girl needs more education." After she married my dad, she said she'd like to try for a GED. She was in her late 60s. He encouraged her, and she was the oldest in the group and successfully received her GED. Then she wanted to take a class at the local college--psychology, because she'd always been curious about that, she said. She took a class at 72, was again the oldest, enjoyed the experience and was satisfied.
Gypsy2: Don't let more time pass; do this for you, for us, for the others you'll meet and help.
Zibby, this is what I heard at home, too. But I managed to finish high school, go into nurses training and am now, at almost 80, finishing my 3rd year at university. It's still my dream to have my B.A. At the rate I'm going, I'll be 84 when I get it.
I always dreamed of being a high school american history teacher. At 18 tho, getting married was more important than an education. My first husband got the 'seven year itch' and eventually we divorced. He left me with a pile of bills but two wonderful children.
After Claude and I married, we talked about me going back to school. He had to drop out after the 8th grade to help his family, but he really wanted me to go back. There always was a 'good' reason why I never did.
It's been nearly 10 months since he passed on, and I just about have my life put back together. We have a community college less than a mile from here, and yestereday I went there and picked up entrance forms and a catalog. I don't know yet what I want to take, but I am definitely going to take something in January. I may be 75 when I graduate but I will get a degree :-)
For all of you who put dreams on hold at a young age--whether it was for more education or whatever--for one reason or another: go for it!!! I admire you all. From earliest memory I knew I was going to college because my parents talked about it, encouraged it. My farmer grandparents "gave us (2 siblings & I) calves," that they fed and took care of then sold and gave us checks. I didn't know until I was grown you could get actual CASH for a check; I thought it *had* to go in the bank for "college education." Was married w/3 kids and was working *outside the home* when I went back for my M.A.
And for you "seniors" who are already pursuing dreams, I wish you continued strength for the day! ♫
Mary 75 -you are a very real role model for those of us who put education on the back burner when younger. i can only hope to acheive a tiny bit of what you are accomplishing . hats off-take a deep bow!!! divvi
This devotion came at a good time for what we are discussing here.
From today's devotion: (the full text with the Biblical references can be found at tangle.com)
Unrealized dreams can yield their own reward. You may feel that you’re spinning your wheels, that life has not turned out as you had hoped. But if you think about it, the simple act of pursuing your dream has already done much good.
Perhaps you never completed your education, yet you are better off for the classes you took than if you had never started. Maybe you were passed over for promotion, yet your quest for a certain job has sharpened your skills and made you a valuable employee. Dreams do much good, even (and perhaps especially) when they’re unfulfilled. —Mike Wittmer, Our Daily Journey
The year before DH's dx I went back to school online! I got my Medical Assistant's Certification (equal to an LPN). I did my Internship with a Family Practice and they Hired me. I stayed 1 year until it was clear I needed to be home with DH. I was 52 and graduated with a 4.0 and an Ulcer, lol! So I say, GO FOR IT!
To all of you who are thinking of earning your degrees, my advice is "GO FOr IT!!" After all, you know you are old when regrets takes the place of dreams.
This is a great e-mail I just received: ...And then it is winter,
Tough times don't last...tough people do!!! You know, time has a way of moving quickly and catching you unaware of the passing years. It seems just yesterday that I was young, just married and embarking on my new life with my mate. And yet in a way, it seems like eons ago, and I wonder where all the years went. I know that I lived them all... > > And I have glimpses of how it was back then and of all my hopes and dreams... But, here it is..the winter of my life and it catches me by surprise... How did I get here so fast? Where did the years go and where did my youth go? > > I remember well...seeing older people through the years and thinking that those older people were years away from me and that winter was so far off that I could not fathom it or imagine fully what it would be like... But, here it is...my friends are retired and getting gray....they move slower and I see an older person now. Lots are in better shape than me... but, I see the great change... Not like the ones that I remember who were young and vibrant... but, like me, their age is beginning to show and we are now those older folks that we used to see and never thought we'd be. > > Each day now, I find that just getting a shower is a real target for the day! And taking a nap is not a treat anymore...it's mandatory! Cause if I don't on my own free will..I just fall asleep where I sit! > > And so, now I enter into this new season of my life unprepared for all the aches and pains and the loss of strength and ability to go and do things that I wish I had done but never did!! > > But, at least I know, that though the winter has come, and I'm not sure how long it will last...this I know, that when it's over...its over.....Yes , I have regrets. There are things I wish I hadn't done ,,,,,things I should have done, but indeed, there are many things I'm happy to have done. It's all in a lifetime.... > > So, if you're not in your winter yet...let me remind you, that it will be here faster than you think. So, whatever you would like to accomplish in your life please do it quickly! > > Don't put things off too long!! > > Life goes by quickly. So, do what you can today, as you can never be sure whether this is your winter or not! > > You have no promise that you will see all the seasons of your life...so, live for good today and say all the things that you want your loved ones to remember...and hope that they appreciate and love you for all the things that you have done for them in all the years past!! > > 'Life is a gift to you. The way you live your life is your gift to those who come after. Make it a fantastic one.' > > LIVE IT WELL!!----ENJOY TODAY!!!!-----DO SOMETHING FUN!!!---- BE HAPPY!!!----BE THANKFUL!!!!! > > >
I received an e-mail several days ago, a poem written by a terminally ill young girl in the hospital. It was a long poem but these are the verses I remember. Life is not a race...You'd better slow down...The music won't last...Time is short...Don't dance so fast. I'm afraid most of us are dancing too fast.