Lois sent this to me this afternoon and asked that I share it with all of you.
joang
From Lois*:
I have earned my star. The stars on this wonderful site, mean to me, that we have lived through the battle and survived the war. We will always carry "battle scars" but we are still alive and are pressing forward with fortitude. We are still here to continue to help those of you who have not yet earned your star. My e-mail is posted in my profile as always. I welcome hearing from all of you on this site or by personal mail. During the last 8 years I was fortunate to be able to "skip" many of the difficulties that you are going through. My care-taking duties were small compared to many of yours and many of yours started before mine and are still going on. I will continue to remember you in my prayers. Thank you, thank you for your many words of support and condolences. I printed the last two threads and had them on a table at the Funeral Home and gave a copy to each of my 3 children to put with the ones they have received. I personally gave information about Joan's site to 4 visitors at the Funeral Home who have either a spouse, friend or parent with AD and encouraged them to pass the information to whoever needed it and help the spouse learn to use the computer enough to be able to get the support they will need. Our good friend and personal family physician came to visitation, as we knew he would. He came at the end or beginning of visitation times while there were few people there and gave us all a hug.
The last few days went off without a glitch. I have fantastic family support from my children and grandchildren. We had over 360 sign the register at visitation and many at the funeral. The funeral was performed by Paul's once-removed cousin, a solo by one of my second-cousins with whom he spent many hours sharing their love of gospel music, and a duet by a granddaughter and grandson on piano, violin and voice. Wasn't that wonderful they were able to do that live? Daughter shared with everyone, his life, achievements, loves. Intermingled with his love of humor and funny stories. Plan was 20 min. but she cut and cut down to 30. I told her "That was ok it would not be boring". The preacher didn't have much time left, and he was ok with that. I have sat through this before when she so lovingly honored her grandmother and was preparing myself to be embarrassed by her relating "her dad and I would not allow them to attend drive-in movies when they were dating". I was "spared" that public revelation this time.
He was known at our Church as the "chewing gum man" and the kids had bowls of gum available. The grandkids had bouquets of candy their papaw shared with them, another bouquet of candy from the other grandkids with different candy he shared with them. Another grandchildren family had the guitar he had won in a radio talent contest at the age of 5. The florist decorated it with ivy and it sat at the foot of the casket. The guitar is now in the hands of the grandson who strummed his guitar at the funeral home. We had a luncheon at our home for any and all. There were 84 in attendance. It sounded like a giant swarm of bees with everyone talking. Food was donated by 3 churches, friends and neighbors. Family friends sat at the house for us during both Funeral and visitation.
This is day 1 of my new life. A lot of changes to begin at age 72. I told Topsy, my cat, last night, it was just she and I now and she slept on my bed as she usually does. You all know I can't cry, because of dry eyes but a few are now rolling out as I am typing this. Perhaps this will open something up and I can just have a "good cry". God Bless you all my friends.
Thank you, Lois. You mean so much to all of us who got to know you through your posts and always your good advise. May God bless you as you continue your life making those around you happy.
What a wonderful tribute that you and your family paid to Paul. Thank you so much for sharing with us and enabling us to participate through cyberspace. May your days now be filled with good memories taking the place of the bad ones, and know that I am still with you in spirit! Take good care of Lois for me!
Thank you, Lois, I enjoyed every word of your description of Paul's visitation and funeral services. So wonderful that you are able to share now, as you always have. Peace be with you.
Lois, thanks for sharing what has to be a really rough time for you and your family. All of you have been in my thoughts and prayers each day. I am so happy that you are hanging in there with such great support. God Bless you with peace and try to relax and give time a chance to heal. Love in Christ, Nora.
Thank you so much, Lois, for sharing the wonderful service shared lovingly with family and friends. It's a statement, too, of how much you and Paul mean to the community. You've given much to this site, too; and we appreciate that and look forward to hearing more words of wisdom from you. Peace be with you.
Lois, Thank you for sharing the wonderful service with us. I always had a little giggle, whenever you mentioned your husband was the "gum man" at church, because my Father-In-Law was always the "gum man" at his church. As Zibby said, "Peace be with you"
Lois, It looks like you took care of visitation and the service as well as you took care of Paul. You are a special lady and I pray you will find peace and comfort in the good memories. God Bless.
thank you for sharing the service with us, I wish I was as strong as you , you are my insperation to keep going on with my life, thank you so much. Gail
Dearest Lois, day 1 of the first day of the rest of your life. Paul is now at peace, and you are still standing! That's wonderful. Thank you for sharing your experience with us here. It means so much to me. God Bless you, my friend. You're an inspiration. I look forward to reading your wisdom for a long, long time. Thank you!
Lois, you are in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you so much for updating us. Also, thank you for all the help,advice , and support you have offered me in this unwanted journey. You are a strong lady and will get through this phase of the journey also. Do please let us know how you are doing. {{{{HUGS}}}}, JoAn
Lois - What a beautiful service. I'm so happy you have the support of such a loving family. You described everything so beautifully that I felt I was right there with you. Yes, you've earned your star - and I do hope you will continue to post here to let us know how you're doing.
You're a fantastic lady. God bless you and warm wishes of peace in the days to come.
Lois - than you so much for sharing everything with us. That service sounds wonderful and so appropriate to you and your husband. What a wonderful gift you have in your friends and family that they were there to help. ((hugs))
Day one..one step FORWARD at a time. Thank you for sharing all of these things with us. Such a loving and thoughtful celebration. One that provided such special rememberances in the lives of your family. Good Job, Imohr! Its day two by now.. I pray that you begin the next steps forward with freedom and peace. Hope you will still be in touch here.
Lois: Thank you for sharing. You write very well, but, when you have such beautiful things to write about, it makes it easier. My prayers are that you will have a good rest of your life.
Lois, thank you for sharing Paul's Clebration of Life...You have a beautiful family....I believe you have found Peace, knowing that Paul is at Peace. He has left a beautiful Legacey....Hugs..God Bless You, Rosalie
Lois, So much sadness tonight with so many people losing their loved ones at this time. Your description of the funeral service, etc. was wonderful. I'll say an extra prayer for you tonight.
Thank you for sharing with us. I have not been on this site for a few days - but my thoughts and prayers are with you as always. Be well my friend, and please stay in thouch.
Lois, So sorry to hear of your loss but it sounds like you had quite a wonderful service celebrating his life. I did the same type of service. It is so meaningful and it really helps to see so many people attend to honor him. God bless you. Now you can take a long breath. {{{hugs}}