My dh's son and family came to visit a few days ago. DH is on Seroquel, 25 mg am and 50 mg pm. I looked across at him during one of their visits to us while in town, and he had a blank, hateful look while he looked at me. He looked like he detested me. I know he likes to play the victim. It's one of his favorite things. So I think that he might have been trying to make them feel he's a victim, and poor him for having me as his wife and having to put up with me. I've seen him do this many times through the years. But now he's on Seroquel. So my question is, for those of you with dh or dw on Seroquel, can this hostile, Pit Bull hateful stare, blank and emotionless, yet still full of anger, be attributed to the med?
I don't think it's the meds, Hanging On. I think it's the disease. You call it Pit Bull hatefulstare, I called it the look of the devil. If looks could kill, I would be dead. He also had the blank stare. It was like he wasn't in there. There was just nothing, just blank. When there was something, it was a look of fear in his eyes. I just can't imagine what they are going through. He was also on seroquel the last couple of years. Without it he was so agitated that I was afraid of him physically. He had these looks before starting the seroquel so I don't think it had anything to do with it.
I agree with Joyce. I've seen that look in my husband's eyes. I have likened it to possession by the devil. It is not the medication; it's the disease. Check out these two blogs - http://www.thealzheimerspouse.com/loveturnstohate.htm and http://www.thealzheimerspouse.com/eyeshaveit.htm
I agree, its the disease. My husband can have a totally blank, absent stare and then in the blink of an eye, the eyes come on. And its a very terrifying look that I would also liken to possesion.
Hanging On : I wish I had thought of your pen name before you did because it describes my situation better than any name I have ever seen. Oh Well--
On the seroquel, My DW in on 100m AM & PM. Got lots of problems, but, the stare you folks are discussing is not one of them. Pharmicist told me that some people take as much as 1,000 m of this per day. Seems to me that that would be too much. At least if our situation.
Bluedaze, I did speak to his pcp about increasing the dosage of seroquel. She said she didn't want to get him too sleepy for fear of his falling. Knowing her, though, she'll agree to increase it if I call her and tell her he's really having bad behavior again. I saw that he was increasing the bad behavior prior to our seeing her for his 3 month checkup, and didn't get the increase I wanted. Now I'm waiting a little while for it to worsen some more. The pcp is a good one. DH had mentioned during that doctor appt that he was sleepy a lot. So he probably manipulated the situation through that. He's very manipulative. The pcp had agreed to increasing that morning dosage to 50 mg, so he'd be on 50 am and 50 pm, until DH talked about being sleepy.
Hanging On, my husband is not on this drug, but I remember that when Nikki's husband went to the nursing home the first thing they did was double or triple the dose that his doctor had reluctantly put him on. When they finally had him on enough meds his attitude took a 180 degree change
As for being sleepy a lot, that is normal with this group of diseases. My husband generally sleeps 12 hours every day. He isn't that much of a napper, but sometimes he will do those too. Others in here have husbands who will sleep 8 to 10 hours at night and take a couple of good long naps as well.
Get on the phone with the doctor and tell him you are afraid. If necessary get your own doctor to talk to his doctor about it.
Thanks for the info, Starling. I had forgotten that this disease makes them sleepy, w/o even the drugs. I know his dosage of seroquel is low, and I'm going to have his pcp increase it soon. I remember my dad, saying about my mother when I asked why he kept her so "drugged up", "She's easier to handle." At the time, I didn't like that, even though I didn't like my mother either, but I sure see now why our dh's with this disease need medication. Particularly the ones with the rage/anger problem, as mine and so many others here, have. So, I see why my dad kept her under the big dose of meds. She was so difficult to handle, all of my life. She was just a mess. But, I digress. (grin)
No, you don't digress. You are reminding us that it isn't only men who need these medications. Sometimes it is women as well. And that is an important point.
I once had a friend who explained why he left his abusive wife and took his kids with him at a time when courts always gave the children to the wives in a divorce. She had taken a hot iron by the cord and tried to hit him in the face with it by swinging it at him. Four days later they were all out of the house.
Mostly aggression is a male thing, but sometimes it is a female thing. I didn't need the drugs, but I'm the one who called the police during the only violent episode. And I'd have called them again to take him to the hospital if it had ever happened again.
We did not have good results with seroquel. DH has never been mean toward me but the hallucinations have been a big problem. Although he was on a small dosage it caused problems He was belligerent, was getting up during the night and getting into things and was not sleeping as he usually does. After a couple of days off he was sleeping all night. He is still has the hallucinations and worries about "those people: that are roaming the house. but it is better than what the seroquel was doing.
I call Charlie's look the "evil eye". But like the rest of you, I also see blank stares and fear in his eyes. I sometimes even see love still in there. It is the disease.
Seroquel helped my husband - very much so - but it made his BP go up substantially, caused swelling in his hands, wrists, calves, ankles. Anyway, he was miserable and we had to take him off it.