Yesterday DH told me, "I won't drive anymore." I had broached the subject with him the day before, and he got defensive. I told him then that being on Seroquel, an anti-psychotic drug, and also coming up on 80 years old, if he got in a wreck, we could be sued and lose everything we have, including the house. (I read that here--thanks to whomever wrote it!). I calmly told him, "Think about it." Yesterday he told me he wouldn't drive anymore, that my reasons were valid. Whew!! I complimented him on doing this "gracefully," and that I was proud of him.
Three great things have happened this year: We got a new dog, DH went on Seroquel (Also as a result of what I've learned on this website), and he agreed to stop driving.
Thank you to everyone for all of the help I've gotten from this great, nurturing place to come every day. And a big hug to Joan, for providing it.
Go to the home page - www.thealzheimerspouse.com - and click on the "previous blog" section on the left. Go to 2008, and then read the spring and summer blogs - that will tell you just how incredibly, wonderfully, lucky you are that you didn't have to go through "the driving issue." Or put "driving issue" in the search above, and read some of the horror stories.
Whatever else happens to you and your husband on this journey, at least you can be thankful you were spared the driving rage.
Oh, yes, Joan. I've been reading the horror stories, including your's with Sid, about the driving issue. They are just awful. I fully expected to have a war with my dh over this. But he has two weak points, so to speak. One is food, and one is money. So I figured if I brought out the money issue as a last resort, that would get his attention. Sure enough, it did, and he elected to not lose our assets. If he hadn't, I was prepared to go to war with him. (grin)
One more thing I forgot to mention--We did agree that he would renew his license, just in case that at some time he would have to drive to get us out of a mess, like if I were incapcitated when we were out someplace, such as if I fell. In fact, last summer I did fall and hurt my knee during our trip to Oregon. Fell over his scooter. It was really bad. So I can see the need for an emergency backup. But I trust him to not drive unless something like that happened.
Hanging On, mine still has his license - it expires in 2010 and won't be renewed. He could also still drive in an emergency situation, but he fully understands that he is not on our insurance policy; plus we have On-Star and he probably wouldn't need to.