Today, for the first time, my wife fought me when it was time to leave the restaurant where we were having lunch - a place we have eaten at every week for the past 2-3 years. I finally got her out, but when we got home found that her Depend was full of loose stool. All in all, not a good day. But no where near as bad as Phranque's, so I shouldn't complain. Right now she is back to her usual pleasant self.
Marsh, when my husband gets antsy, I know NOW he has to go, and get my grandson to take him for me if we are in public. I had to learn to watch for his signal because it was the only warning I got. I had to stop taking him to the cafeteria, because he wanted one of everything and was determined to put them on his tray, so that was our last trip there! We have three restaurants we can still take him to, because the people know us and the food there is easy for him to eat. We go, and then come right back home. Everything is changing........but as you said, no where near as bad as Phranque has it.....or Lois.....
I'm thankful for every day I have and try to make it as pleasant for him as I can, and yet still have my own friends and keep my job. I think I have established a fairly good life for both of us while we finish this journey.
I don't have nearly as hard a time as Phranque, Marsh or many others, I know. Still, all day long is a constant tension between doing what he wants to do (going out, preferably by bike, again and again), and doing what I want to do, or have to get done. The last couple days I've been working on our Christmas letter, and finally got it done, printed, folded and put in envelopes, etc. He helped with the folding and putting in envelopes, but also cut up several of the letters in order to paste ONE picture (there are 12 pictures in the letter) from each in his notebook, got the piles all mixed up, kept putting rubber bands around piles, etc. Let it go, as long as he's happy and occupied for another half hour. Tonight he wanted to go to bed at 6 pm, right after supper. I got the bright idea of making apple crisp. He likes to peel and cut up apples. He kept peeling more after I said we had enough. There was no stopping him! So we had quite a big apple crisp and he wanted to eat it all at one sitting, till I hid it when he wasn't looking. Then he was looking around vaguely, but didn't ask for it. I finally let him go to to bed at 7:30 and he'll hopefully sleep till 6:30 or 7.
Funny, my DH does the same thing when cutting up veggies or fruit. If making a salad, he always wants to cut up way too many onions, celery, etc. Lately, I've started just putting out enough of those things for him to cut and keeping the rest in the refrigerator. I figure I can always get more if we need it. We have to constantly "think" and sometimes I "think" my brain is so tired I can't "think".
OK, I know this is going to sound wild, but the only time my husband got violent this is what the Alzheimer's Association told me to do. Call 911 and tell them you need someone to take your spouse to the hospital because they have dementia and they have gotten violent.
I called 911 when I was truly scared. Husband convinced the police when they arrived that it was just a domestic issue and they left. I would notify the authorities with a letter from the doctor just what is going on. that way you will be believed and your spouse won't be injured when "resisting"
Never will I call 911 for this...I do not want my dw restrained or taken away for "evaluation". I am very congnizant of the Baker Act, and would not do that to her. I have seen her when ANYONE tries to restrain her. (try putting a cat in a burlap bag and you will have an idea what I mean). I can easily outrun my dw, and leaving stops the threat. We prefer to "go natural", like childbirth....no sedating, no chemical imbalance drugs, no "happy pills, or mood altering drugs. My vet says I can borrow his tranquilizer gun anytime, and I can always buy one of those laser tasers if I really really really need it. Right now, alcohol seems to be the best.....Two bottles of scotch for me, and everything is ok....